Barkerisms: He's about ready to return edition

These are quite late, I know, since there are from the April 3-7 episodes. I have been incredibly busy at times the last week or so, and there hasn't been any major pressure to get these up, considering that not only was last week reruns, but this week coming up will also be reruns...

Update on Bob: His exact injury was a torn tendon in his foot. The doctor told him it basically "blew out" after 82 years of wear and tear. Because of the shape the tendon was in, the doctors elected not to surgically repair it, so he literally will spend the rest of his life with a broken tendon in his foot.

He will return to work tomorrow, however for the short-term, they will only tape one episode on Mondays instead of the usual two...

All I can say is he is one tough old man.

And, now onto the Barkerism from the first week of April:

"And Tyson is attending Drury University, from where I graduated... in the year 1912!" - Bob, who somehow graduated college 11 years before he was born!

"On his shirt it says 'I survived World War II to be on The Price Is Right'! Another phony, here we have! You may have been in World War II, but there was no Price Is Right at that time!" - Bob, on Charles' T-Shirt

"I think I have a rather important announcement to make. I've decided to leave The Price Is Right. I'm going to Canada, where I've been invited to become the Prime Minister of Canada! Those four fellows up there in red shirts are men of great influence up there, and they're going to make me the Prime Minister!" - Bob, on his new career (and giving me quite a scare!)

"Jonathan, I am appalled at your lack of emotion!" - Bob, when Jonathan went nuts after he was called down

"Ladies and gentlemen, I like to point out historic moments on The Price Is Right, and Jonathan is one of them. Leave it alone! Don't touch it! No, Jonathan's pants aren't unzipped - they're splitting from the bottom up! Let's just proceed like there is nothing wrong with Jonathan's pants!" - Bob, on Jonathan's wardrobe malfunction

"Hold on. Did we imply there are fleas in the sofas that we give away? We need to be careful about that!" - Bob, after Rich described a sofa that was up for bids, then told the contestants that they'd win a supply of flea and tick control for dogs if they won the sofa

"That is a great way for him to start his first term, isn't it?!" - Bob, after Nathaniel (who wants to become president someday) got his first guess right (for the jewelry box) on Ten Chances

"Audience, I suggest we impeach him! What do you think?" - Bob, after Nathaniel began to struggle on the karaoke machine in Ten Chances

"Let's hear it for the president, here!" - Bob, after Nathaniel didn't get the wheel all the way around

"This is not your day, you know. You're going to break something before you're through here!" - Bob, after Anne sent the Sectet X board sliding

"Carefully put this on here. Don't hurt yourself!" - Bob, urging Anne to proceed with caution

"I know you are anxious to win money, but in your case, please don't hurt yourself! Just be careful!" - Bob, before Anne spun the big wheel

"Here come the Razorbacks of Arkansas University! And here goes Bob Barker to save his life!" - Bob, while getting out of the way of Nathaniel's group, who rushed the turntable after he won his Showcase

"During this last commercial break, Christine here was telling us how this group from Williams College was smarter than this group from Cal Poly. I dare say she would probably like to apologize now!" - Bob, after Christine won only $1,000 in It's In The Bag, getting the last four items wrong (she quit at $1,000)

Thanks to the fact Bob was really on that week, I don't have one, or two, but THREE Barkerisms of the Week for this week! All three of them are absolutely hilarious...

Bob: "Well, I'm sure that Standards And Practices at CBS would want me to explain there has been a deception today on The Price Is Right. I am appalled to find out that Tyson lives in San Jose! He's with a group of people who are visiting from Missouri - not necessarily Springfield, the home of Drury College! And none of them is, or has, attended Drury! Now, having explained... I beg your pardon?"
Tyson: "According to them, their grandmother once went on a double-date with you back in high school."
Bob: "What was their grandmother's name?"
Woman in audience: "Elizabeth Smith!"
Bob: "Elizabeth Smith? Ooooohhhhhh.... yeah."
- Bob and Tyson on Tyson's deception

Bob: "Yeah, Alex is blaming me! He says 'Come on Bob! Come on Bob! I want up there, Bob!' It's not my fault!"
Alex: "Come on, Bob! Come on, Bob!"
Bob: "You have no one to blame but yourself, Alex! You're at an age where you must learn to accept responsibility!"
*audience boos*
Bob: "And you too!"
- Bob, after Alex tried to blame Bob for his bad bidding and inability to win his way up on stage

"I have an observation to make, please listen.. Isn't it typical of our president, they start spending money the moment they get in office! We're over budget already!" - Bob, after Nathaniel guessed $78,901... FOR A FORD FOCUS!

We'll have new Barkerisms in a couple of weeks, once new episodes start airing. Meanwhile, it's off to look into restoring that amplifier of mine...

Barkerisms: Get well soon, Bob edition

Unfortunately, there will be no new tapings of The Price Is Right for at least a week, and possibly longer... Bob Barker is currently undergoing treatment for a torn ligament in his foot. He tried to gut it out during last week's taping (those episodes will air at the end of April), and was obviously in a great deal of pain.

I do hope he makes a full and speedy recovery.

Last week's Barkerisms:

"She's much younger than I, she's nearer James than I, and she couldn't hear James! It reassures me that we do have a little noise in here occasionally!" - Bob, after Stacy asked what James bid

"And now, when she gets all the way to California, she gets up close and discovers he's just a wrinkled old man!" - Bob, on Stacy's shirt (which said she'd come all the way from New Jersey to see how handsome Bob is)

"I just got word from the booth that my tie is not straight. Is it straight now? Yeah.. But now, I can't turn my head. I can only do this (Bob stands there, shuffling his feet and moving completely around, instead of turning his head or waist)!" - Bob, on his crooked tie

"You're playing Temptation on The Price Is Right, that's what you're doing!" - Bob, after Sonia nervously said she didn't know what she was doing

"I've always heard a woman has the right to change her mind!" - Bob, after Brittaney changed her bid from $3,000 to $1 (on the first bid of the show, no less!)

"Someone is trying to take my microphone away from me." - Bob, after Paul stepped on the microphone cable

"We have an audience filled with college students today! Look around here... I mean, they are all over the place! And I feel like Professor Barker up here. And the first question I ask of the class is, is that hair your own, Nicholas?! It's not. I can't believe it... Because if it was, I was going to give you a haircut!" - Bob, on Nicholas' afro wig

"You talk about a lack of attention in class!" - Bob, after Terri tried to bid $1,256 after Joanne had just bid that

"Win, lose or draw, that was the most popular bid of the day!" - Bob, after Lashawna bid $1 on the last item up for bids (after everyone overbid the first time)

"I really gave you a big promotion!" - Bob, after he mixed up Elizabeth's rank in the Navy

"Obviously, you don't have a good sense of direction, do you?" - Bob, after Linda started heading in the wrong direction while going up on stage

"Rich, I have Eric, I have Anthony, I have Adam. You want to go all men for the rest of the show?"
"Sure, why not? You want to do that?"
"No... It'll cause trouble!"
- Bob, trying to rile up the women once again

"You know, the way he does that, he'd make a great Barker's Beauty, I think!" - Bob, on Eric bowing and spinning around when he won his way up on stage

"I heard - they were just shouting advice to Blake on what to bid, and we don't even have the prize out yet! There may be some thing I don't understand, but I would believe that would be a disadvantage!" - Bob, after yet another contestant received advice during the commercial break on what to bid on a prize that hadn't been brought out yet!

"She's promising me, she's saying 'I'll be gentle! I'll be gentle!' She's seen me beaten up by contestants before!" - Bob, after Maryellen came up on stage

"Now, Maryellen, you got a little fancy with that one. You try again, and I'll stand right here!" - Bob, after Maryellen rolled a dice too hard, sending it flying to the floor. He then stood at the other end of the table, blocking the dice from going to the floor like a goalie!

"During that commercial, I found out that Blake is one of some very unusual young men. These young men rode bicycles from Texas to California, 1,200 miles! 400 miles a day for three days. Now they're going into rehab in the desert!" - Bob, on Blake and his "Kinsmen"'s Tour de Price

"Now, since he is one of the young men who ride a bicycle 1,200 miles from Texas to California, he desperately needs a car!" - Bob, when Blake got the chance to win a car on Line 'Em Up

While we don't want to see Bob injured by contestants, the Barkerism Of The Week does prove that Bob is quite amusing when he is scared. Picture Bob first trying to duck from Avonne, then hiding behind the prize displays, then behind a model as he says this:

"Avonne has won a car on The Price Is Right! Yes, you won a car! No, don't attack me! Don't touch me! Easy, Avonne, easy! Easy! Yes, you've won! Yes, you've won! You've won the car! Hold her! Keep her away from me! Yeah, you've won! Yeah, you did win! She won't believe me! Keep her out there, Rachel! Don't let her get me, Rachel!" - Bob, fearing for his life after Avonne won a car and went nuts