Barkerisms: Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Edition
I am slowly getting caught up on these. Obviously, the last few weeks have been hectic, but here is the first of the four overdue weeks worth...
The rest will be posted later this week.
The Tuesday episode from this week was the taping I attended in early May, so I'll be throwing in a few in-studio Barkerisms as well.
Enjoy, and there's more coming very soon!
"Court, you are taking much too close a look at that prize!" - Bob, after Court examined the necklace that Gabrielle was modeling
"I am so glad that Andrew won his way out of Contestant's Row so quickly, because that leaves me with Jana, Joel and Jill. And, Rich? You undoubtedly have another contestant for me whose name also begins with J?!" - Bob, on the 3 J's (which did become 4 J's when Julie was called down)
"I still haven't looked yet. I'm excited, aren't you? I still haven't looked. I'm getting eager. Are you eager!?" - Bob teasing Jana before revealing the last card in Spelling Bee
Bob: "Bryan, you got up rather hesitantly. Why?"
Bryan: "My last name is Bee-tie, so I wasn't sure..."
Bob: "What did you say?"
Rich: "I said Bay-tee, but you're right. I'm sorry."
Bob: "What do you mean he's right? Of course, it's his name! Of course he knows his name!"
Rich: "Yes, sir, he does. You're right."
Bob: "There's no argument about that, you know!"
Rich: "You're both right."
- Bob, Bryan and Rich, after Rich mispronounced Bryan's last name
"They're not even married yet, and already she's the boss!" - Bob, Bryan said he was listening to his fiancee Jennifer's advice
Bob: "Who's going to control the money in your family after you and Jennifer are married?"
Bryan: "Well, you know it's not me!"
"Try one more, let's see if she can ever hit one! There it is! Let's hear it for Gabi! Now I'm going to turn my head, please stop!" - Bob, on Gabi's problems hitting the tennis balls during the demonstration
Bertha: "Is it a tennis racket or what? What are we bidding on?"
Bob: "I'm going to my dressing room! What are we bidding on?! Didn't you see those tennis balls flying across the stage? You're bidding on that machine!"
- Bob, after Bertha had no idea what she was bidding on
Bob: "Don't try to kiss it up now! I was talking with Bertha here..."
Bertha: "I think we're about the same age!"
Bob: "How old are you?"
Bertha: "84."
Bob: "84? You're older than I am, Bertha! By two years..."
Bertha: "Just another month until I'm 85..."
Bob: "I won't be 83 until next December, so I'm a lot younger than you, Bertha!"
- Bob, obviously not wanting an older woman!
"Now, I have had contestants give an unnerving look, or even a punch... She assault him right now! And we have it all on top! Charges are pending!" - Bob, after Melissa shoved Thomas around after he $1-upped her
"People may think he came up so quickly because he was excited. No, he was afraid of Melissa!" - Bob, after Thomas won his way up on stage
"I was practicing his name during the commercial break... Maxentius. And he thought I was calling him up. You stay down there where you belong... Max!" - Bob, on Maxentius' confusion
"This is the second physical fight we've had in Contestant's Row!" - Bob, after Maxentrius play-fought with Michael after he $1-upped him
"Catherine, if you hadn't have stopped him, I would've just let him go on and play a pricing game!" - Bob, after Catherine grabbed Darold to keep him from walking right up on stage after he was called
Bob: "I was talking to the audience during that commercial break. I don't believe I've ever had an audience where so many women were desperate to be kissed!"
Rich: "You've got that right, Bob!"
Bob: "I don't know.. I don't know.. Some of you must have husbands or boyfriends with you. Guys, you need to kiss more often!"
- Bob, on all the ladies wanting a kiss
"Lorilei is complaining 'I can't hear! I can't hear!' What makes you think you're any different? You're no different than anyone else. Nobody can hear at The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Lorilei complained about the loud audience
"Lori is from Alaska, and can't you just picture her whipping around Alaska in that Mustang, with the top down, in December?!" - Bob, upon Lori having a chance to win a Mustang convertable
"On her shirt, it says 'Bob's Aging Beauty'. After meeting Lorilei, she feels even older!" - Bob, after Lorilei picked Barbara up and bearhugged her after she got picked
"Now, just a minute. I want to hear this. I'm going to repeat this. I want you to know what I go through up here day after day. I said to Barbara 'What do you bid?' Barbara bid $450. I turned to Lorilei and asked 'What do you bid?', and she asked 'What is the highest bid?' Is it any wonder that my hair is grey?! The highest bid is $450 - it's the only bid!" - Bob, frustrated with yet another contestant who didn't pay attention
And the fun from Studio 33 itself:
"Has everyone been drinking today? I hope so, because the entire staff is drunk!" - Rich, on the day's wild audience
"Cross his name off. Don't pick him!" - Rich, after someone said something Rich didn't find too funny
Rich: "I attended my first taping of The Price Is Right right after I turned 18, back in 1979, which was 27 years ago. You can all do the math..."
Madge: "22!"
Rich: "I appreciate that! What's your name? Find her name on the list, make sure she gets picked!"
- Rich, after someone we all know and love told him he's younger than he really is
Bob: "You're from a group of seniors that came from Wyoming? How old do you have to be to join?"
Woman from group: "55."
Bob: "55?! When I was 55, the last thing I was thinking about was retiring! You know, I'm too old to be a senior anymore. Now I'm a super, super senior. Back when I was a senior, I didn't want to join. Now that I'm ready to join, I can't because I'm not a senior anymore!"
- Bob, on the group of seniors from Wyoming
Bob: "Are there any other groups here?"
Woman in audience: "Us!"
Bob: "You're a girl, not a group!"
Woman: "No, I'm here with my friends..."
Bob: "How many are there in your 'group'?"
Woman: "Five."
Bob: "That's not a group! You need six to be a group!"
- Bob, on a woman and four of her friends
"So, how many are in your group? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... 7. Seven. That's not a group, you need eight to be a group!" - Bob, on some guy and six of his friends
"Get up, make another bad bid, sit down already... Ohhhhh... She didn't find that amusing!" - Bob, after Jana didn't find his comment too amusing
Some people, though, don't know the difference between questions and commands...
Bob: "Anyone got any questions?"
Woman in audience: "Can I get a kiss?"
Bob: "Can't you see I'm busy up here?! If I let you get a smooch, I have to let everyone else come down and get a kiss! Any other questions?"
Another woman in audience: "Can I get a hug?"
Bob: "Didn't I just say I was busy? Weren't you paying attention? Any other questions?"
Man in audience: "Can I get your autograph?"
Bob: "These aren't questions, these are commands!"
Madge: "Bob, I was at a taping in January, and someone complimented your pants."
Bob: "My pants?"
Madge: "Yeah, your pants. After he complimented them, you asked us what we bid on them..."
Bob: "Bid on my pants?"
Madge: "Yep, bid on your pants. Now, the readers of my website want to know.... What is the actual retail price of your pants?!"
Bob: "You want to know the price of my pants?!"
Madge: "Yes. My readers want to know!"
Bob: "Uhhhhh...."
Rich: "They're priceless!"
Bob: "Yes, he's absolutely right. They're priceless!"
- Bob and Rich, after yours truly asked Bob the actual retail price of his pants - the pants YOU keep bidding on!
"I must have a bunch of losers here! We've had three pricing games, and we've lost all three. People don't want to hear me say 'Awwww, I'm sorry', they want to hear me say 'You've won a new car!' Now, let's get it together in the second half, and break even!" - Bob, after the first three pricing games were lost.
Male in audience: "What's your favorite game?"
Bob: "Favorite pricing game?"
Male: "Yeah, you have a favorite?"
Bob: "Well, I like many of them. Plinko is obviously very popular. But I like Hole In One... when I'm actually making putts!"
Idiot male in audience (Mike): "Alright, Bob! Nice... and easy!"
"You know, they wanted me to do Happy Gilmore 2, but Adam Sandler's doctor told him he couldn't take another beating like that!" - Bob, on his movie career
Side-splittingly funny, as usual. But once again, this week's Barkerism Of The Week comes from inside the studio and never hit the air, unfortunately:
Jill (in Contestant's Row): "Bob, have you ever considered giving away pets to the people who get called down who don't win anything?"
Bob: "You want a pet?"
Jill: "Yeah, you know, at least we'd get to win a pet..."
Bob (half-sarcastically and half-teasingly): "I'LL GIVE YOU A PET!"
The rest will be posted later this week.
The Tuesday episode from this week was the taping I attended in early May, so I'll be throwing in a few in-studio Barkerisms as well.
Enjoy, and there's more coming very soon!
"Court, you are taking much too close a look at that prize!" - Bob, after Court examined the necklace that Gabrielle was modeling
"I am so glad that Andrew won his way out of Contestant's Row so quickly, because that leaves me with Jana, Joel and Jill. And, Rich? You undoubtedly have another contestant for me whose name also begins with J?!" - Bob, on the 3 J's (which did become 4 J's when Julie was called down)
"I still haven't looked yet. I'm excited, aren't you? I still haven't looked. I'm getting eager. Are you eager!?" - Bob teasing Jana before revealing the last card in Spelling Bee
Bob: "Bryan, you got up rather hesitantly. Why?"
Bryan: "My last name is Bee-tie, so I wasn't sure..."
Bob: "What did you say?"
Rich: "I said Bay-tee, but you're right. I'm sorry."
Bob: "What do you mean he's right? Of course, it's his name! Of course he knows his name!"
Rich: "Yes, sir, he does. You're right."
Bob: "There's no argument about that, you know!"
Rich: "You're both right."
- Bob, Bryan and Rich, after Rich mispronounced Bryan's last name
"They're not even married yet, and already she's the boss!" - Bob, Bryan said he was listening to his fiancee Jennifer's advice
Bob: "Who's going to control the money in your family after you and Jennifer are married?"
Bryan: "Well, you know it's not me!"
"Try one more, let's see if she can ever hit one! There it is! Let's hear it for Gabi! Now I'm going to turn my head, please stop!" - Bob, on Gabi's problems hitting the tennis balls during the demonstration
Bertha: "Is it a tennis racket or what? What are we bidding on?"
Bob: "I'm going to my dressing room! What are we bidding on?! Didn't you see those tennis balls flying across the stage? You're bidding on that machine!"
- Bob, after Bertha had no idea what she was bidding on
Bob: "Don't try to kiss it up now! I was talking with Bertha here..."
Bertha: "I think we're about the same age!"
Bob: "How old are you?"
Bertha: "84."
Bob: "84? You're older than I am, Bertha! By two years..."
Bertha: "Just another month until I'm 85..."
Bob: "I won't be 83 until next December, so I'm a lot younger than you, Bertha!"
- Bob, obviously not wanting an older woman!
"Now, I have had contestants give an unnerving look, or even a punch... She assault him right now! And we have it all on top! Charges are pending!" - Bob, after Melissa shoved Thomas around after he $1-upped her
"People may think he came up so quickly because he was excited. No, he was afraid of Melissa!" - Bob, after Thomas won his way up on stage
"I was practicing his name during the commercial break... Maxentius. And he thought I was calling him up. You stay down there where you belong... Max!" - Bob, on Maxentius' confusion
"This is the second physical fight we've had in Contestant's Row!" - Bob, after Maxentrius play-fought with Michael after he $1-upped him
"Catherine, if you hadn't have stopped him, I would've just let him go on and play a pricing game!" - Bob, after Catherine grabbed Darold to keep him from walking right up on stage after he was called
Bob: "I was talking to the audience during that commercial break. I don't believe I've ever had an audience where so many women were desperate to be kissed!"
Rich: "You've got that right, Bob!"
Bob: "I don't know.. I don't know.. Some of you must have husbands or boyfriends with you. Guys, you need to kiss more often!"
- Bob, on all the ladies wanting a kiss
"Lorilei is complaining 'I can't hear! I can't hear!' What makes you think you're any different? You're no different than anyone else. Nobody can hear at The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Lorilei complained about the loud audience
"Lori is from Alaska, and can't you just picture her whipping around Alaska in that Mustang, with the top down, in December?!" - Bob, upon Lori having a chance to win a Mustang convertable
"On her shirt, it says 'Bob's Aging Beauty'. After meeting Lorilei, she feels even older!" - Bob, after Lorilei picked Barbara up and bearhugged her after she got picked
"Now, just a minute. I want to hear this. I'm going to repeat this. I want you to know what I go through up here day after day. I said to Barbara 'What do you bid?' Barbara bid $450. I turned to Lorilei and asked 'What do you bid?', and she asked 'What is the highest bid?' Is it any wonder that my hair is grey?! The highest bid is $450 - it's the only bid!" - Bob, frustrated with yet another contestant who didn't pay attention
And the fun from Studio 33 itself:
"Has everyone been drinking today? I hope so, because the entire staff is drunk!" - Rich, on the day's wild audience
"Cross his name off. Don't pick him!" - Rich, after someone said something Rich didn't find too funny
Rich: "I attended my first taping of The Price Is Right right after I turned 18, back in 1979, which was 27 years ago. You can all do the math..."
Madge: "22!"
Rich: "I appreciate that! What's your name? Find her name on the list, make sure she gets picked!"
- Rich, after someone we all know and love told him he's younger than he really is
Bob: "You're from a group of seniors that came from Wyoming? How old do you have to be to join?"
Woman from group: "55."
Bob: "55?! When I was 55, the last thing I was thinking about was retiring! You know, I'm too old to be a senior anymore. Now I'm a super, super senior. Back when I was a senior, I didn't want to join. Now that I'm ready to join, I can't because I'm not a senior anymore!"
- Bob, on the group of seniors from Wyoming
Bob: "Are there any other groups here?"
Woman in audience: "Us!"
Bob: "You're a girl, not a group!"
Woman: "No, I'm here with my friends..."
Bob: "How many are there in your 'group'?"
Woman: "Five."
Bob: "That's not a group! You need six to be a group!"
- Bob, on a woman and four of her friends
"So, how many are in your group? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... 7. Seven. That's not a group, you need eight to be a group!" - Bob, on some guy and six of his friends
"Get up, make another bad bid, sit down already... Ohhhhh... She didn't find that amusing!" - Bob, after Jana didn't find his comment too amusing
Some people, though, don't know the difference between questions and commands...
Bob: "Anyone got any questions?"
Woman in audience: "Can I get a kiss?"
Bob: "Can't you see I'm busy up here?! If I let you get a smooch, I have to let everyone else come down and get a kiss! Any other questions?"
Another woman in audience: "Can I get a hug?"
Bob: "Didn't I just say I was busy? Weren't you paying attention? Any other questions?"
Man in audience: "Can I get your autograph?"
Bob: "These aren't questions, these are commands!"
Madge: "Bob, I was at a taping in January, and someone complimented your pants."
Bob: "My pants?"
Madge: "Yeah, your pants. After he complimented them, you asked us what we bid on them..."
Bob: "Bid on my pants?"
Madge: "Yep, bid on your pants. Now, the readers of my website want to know.... What is the actual retail price of your pants?!"
Bob: "You want to know the price of my pants?!"
Madge: "Yes. My readers want to know!"
Bob: "Uhhhhh...."
Rich: "They're priceless!"
Bob: "Yes, he's absolutely right. They're priceless!"
- Bob and Rich, after yours truly asked Bob the actual retail price of his pants - the pants YOU keep bidding on!
"I must have a bunch of losers here! We've had three pricing games, and we've lost all three. People don't want to hear me say 'Awwww, I'm sorry', they want to hear me say 'You've won a new car!' Now, let's get it together in the second half, and break even!" - Bob, after the first three pricing games were lost.
Male in audience: "What's your favorite game?"
Bob: "Favorite pricing game?"
Male: "Yeah, you have a favorite?"
Bob: "Well, I like many of them. Plinko is obviously very popular. But I like Hole In One... when I'm actually making putts!"
Idiot male in audience (Mike): "Alright, Bob! Nice... and easy!"
"You know, they wanted me to do Happy Gilmore 2, but Adam Sandler's doctor told him he couldn't take another beating like that!" - Bob, on his movie career
Side-splittingly funny, as usual. But once again, this week's Barkerism Of The Week comes from inside the studio and never hit the air, unfortunately:
Jill (in Contestant's Row): "Bob, have you ever considered giving away pets to the people who get called down who don't win anything?"
Bob: "You want a pet?"
Jill: "Yeah, you know, at least we'd get to win a pet..."
Bob (half-sarcastically and half-teasingly): "I'LL GIVE YOU A PET!"
posted by Deborah at 8:47 AM
5 Comments:
LOL! The $1-upping is ALWAYS hilarious to watch!
The woman is boss? Where are her boots?
What's wrong with older women?
The $1-upping can be hilarious, depending how people react...
If you're talking about Bryan and Jennifer (the woman being boss), I don't know where Jennifer's boots are. But, trust me, she'd look very good in them!
If by older women you mean Bertha.. That poor woman just seemed lost. She didn't know where to stand, didn't know what was up for bids. I honestly felt bad for her...
If I have to win Madge as a pet I'll do anything!
Next time you are on the show ask Bob to give me away to you as a pet.''Kotzkan''What does ''kotzkan''means?Is it japaneese?
the replacement will be the one that looks like the head is a peni-!
no kidding
take note
of his head
xoxo
mo mo
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