Barkerisms: March Madness/Tomarken Memorial edition
Due to being a bit behind, as well as the fact I only saw three entire episodes last week (one wasn't aired at all due to coverage of the NCAA tournament, the other wasn't aired in it's entirety), and not to mention the fact these were episodes from last October, I decided to combine both week's worth of Barkerisms into one posts.
While they may be old, they're still quite funny... Enjoy!
"Wait a minute. This is supposed to be an exciting game! This is possibly our most popular game, and it's not because of zeroes!" - Bob, after Danielle dropped her first three chips into $0
"I'll get one right sooner or later!" - Bob, after he had problems hearing what the contestants were bidding
"I know, everyone kisses me on the right cheek... The left cheek is left out!" - Bob, after Kimberly kissed him on the left cheek
"Hello there, Ophir. Yes, congratulations, Ophir, now get off this stage! Get down there in Contestant's Row, Ophir! Don't try that business... You know, he sat back there and thought 'That old man won't notice... I'll just run up on stage and play a pricing game!'" - Bob, after Ophir tried to run right up on stage after being picked
"Now, Darryl, I want you to spin the big wheel - and don't break it!" - Bob, just before Darryl (6'4", 285) spun
"I asked her why Fred doesn't come along. She said he doesn't want to stand in line that long. See, it's true - people do stand in line a long time, sometimes as much as 20 or 30 minutes!" - Bob, after Janice explained why her husband hasn't come to the show, despite the fact he watches everyday
"I thought he was going to bid $3,950. I was going to say that poor boy had been out in the heat too long!" - Bob, after he misheard Walter's $950 bid for the sofa
"Oh! After that buildup, what a bummer!" - Bob, after Matthew drew a strike on his first turn on Three Strikes
"I refuse to go on after telling you there are no zeroes, and no numbers higher than six. You are obviously not majoring in mathematics!" - Bob, after Ian rolled a 1 in Dice Game, and said the number was lower
"Now, when you tell people about winning this car on The Price Is Right, I want you to remember to tell anyone with whom you talk that that old, grey-haired Barker is a nice man!" - Bob, after Ian won his Mustang
"Connie here is visiting us from Washington, DC, and in this game, you have to spend as much money as you can. And we all know that in Washington, DC, they know something about spending money, don't they?" - Bob, just before Connie played Shopping Spree
"I've never felt so useless! I never said a higher or a lower... She just whipped right through it." - Bob, Lauri went from $750 to $799 without waiting for Bob to say higher or lower in Clock Game
"Now, if you don't stop it, I'm going to have to hit you really hard!" - Bob, after Lauri went higher than $900 after Bob said lower, clearly not listening
"We've finally hit the bottom. The Bottom family is here!" - Bob, on the Bottom group in the audience
"Where can we go from there? Only up, meaning the Up group should be here next week!" - Bob, still having fun with the Bottoms
"With all these Bottoms, I end with a phony here! It's the story of my life!" - Bob, after Kyle Collins (part of the Bottom group) was called down. Kyle's grandmother's last name was Bottom, hence why he was with the group
"I bet he wants to take the $1,000 and quit!" - Bob, after Dustin rolled four cars in his first roll on Let 'Em Roll
"You know, with his standing above me, celebrating and waving this thing (the large cup for the dice) around, I felt I was in real danger. I got rid of him real quick!" - Bob, on Dustin's celebration after he won the car
"Audience, I don't know whether you helped this young man, or confused him!" - Bob, on the audience's conflicting advice to Benjamin during Clearance Sale
"I look down here in Contestant's Row. Theresa, Alesha and Barbara are looking intently at the prize. Jade is down here doing callestenics. Literally, doing callestenics. I think that's taking exercise too far!" - Bob, on the overly energetic Jade
"Well, thank you. Let's just forget the game and talk about me!" - Bob, after Barbara won her way up on stage and said Bob's better looking in person
"I'll tell you, we use old cameras and they make me look older than I already am!" - Bob, on why he "looks better in person"
"This may be the longest come on down in Price Is Right history! Mae, come on down! No, don't stop her! No embracing! This is only an hour show!" - Bob, on Mae's incredibly lengthy come on down
"She may not have won a prize, but she's developed a bicep!" - Bob, on Jade's musculars arms (and prior exercising on Contestant's Row)
"This Check Game has been on the show a good, long time!" - Bob, after Derrick said he didn't know how to play Check Game since he hadn't seen it for "a good, long time"
"How did you ever get into Penn State?" - Bob, after Derrick still had no idea how to play Check Game
"One thing he has learned while at Penn State, much to the dismay of his father, is how to write checks!" - Bob, after Derrick finished writing the check
"It's not an overbid!" - Bob, after the contestants managed to avoid an overbid after two straight
"I'm just going to sit down while she does her callestenics!" - Bob, after Elisabeth won her way up on stage and kept jumping around and screaming
"The interesting thing is he didn't look at his wife until he got done to the olive oil. He thought he knew the price of all of these. Now, if you're way off, blame your wife!" - Bob, after Lloyd said he had no idea about the prices, but then ignored his wife's advice on the first three items
"My man, you should've been listening to your wife clear back here, at the pain reliever!" - Bob, after Lloyd badly missed the first three items, then was right on the nose (with his wife's help) on the last two
The Barkerism Of The Week from "two weeks ago":
"You know, I just had a young mother stand up and thank me profusely for curing her baby's colic. He's not a baby anymore? They're 11 and 8? Both of them were cured of their colic by watching The Price Is Right. Now, the first thing I want to know is how I can make money curing babies!" - Dr. Bob, on finding out that he and TPIR can work medical wonders
And "last week's":
Bob: "And this pretty little Candace has added something new to The Price Is Right vocabulary! As you recall, she played Pick A Number, where all you do is choose one number and put it in the price, and hopefully you win. Well, she said 'You gave me a blonde game to play!'"
Candace: "Yeah, and I screwed it up!"
Bob: "Proving that you really are a blonde!"
New episodes - and new Barkerisms - will resume today. Woo hoo!
While they may be old, they're still quite funny... Enjoy!
"Wait a minute. This is supposed to be an exciting game! This is possibly our most popular game, and it's not because of zeroes!" - Bob, after Danielle dropped her first three chips into $0
"I'll get one right sooner or later!" - Bob, after he had problems hearing what the contestants were bidding
"I know, everyone kisses me on the right cheek... The left cheek is left out!" - Bob, after Kimberly kissed him on the left cheek
"Hello there, Ophir. Yes, congratulations, Ophir, now get off this stage! Get down there in Contestant's Row, Ophir! Don't try that business... You know, he sat back there and thought 'That old man won't notice... I'll just run up on stage and play a pricing game!'" - Bob, after Ophir tried to run right up on stage after being picked
"Now, Darryl, I want you to spin the big wheel - and don't break it!" - Bob, just before Darryl (6'4", 285) spun
"I asked her why Fred doesn't come along. She said he doesn't want to stand in line that long. See, it's true - people do stand in line a long time, sometimes as much as 20 or 30 minutes!" - Bob, after Janice explained why her husband hasn't come to the show, despite the fact he watches everyday
"I thought he was going to bid $3,950. I was going to say that poor boy had been out in the heat too long!" - Bob, after he misheard Walter's $950 bid for the sofa
"Oh! After that buildup, what a bummer!" - Bob, after Matthew drew a strike on his first turn on Three Strikes
"I refuse to go on after telling you there are no zeroes, and no numbers higher than six. You are obviously not majoring in mathematics!" - Bob, after Ian rolled a 1 in Dice Game, and said the number was lower
"Now, when you tell people about winning this car on The Price Is Right, I want you to remember to tell anyone with whom you talk that that old, grey-haired Barker is a nice man!" - Bob, after Ian won his Mustang
"Connie here is visiting us from Washington, DC, and in this game, you have to spend as much money as you can. And we all know that in Washington, DC, they know something about spending money, don't they?" - Bob, just before Connie played Shopping Spree
"I've never felt so useless! I never said a higher or a lower... She just whipped right through it." - Bob, Lauri went from $750 to $799 without waiting for Bob to say higher or lower in Clock Game
"Now, if you don't stop it, I'm going to have to hit you really hard!" - Bob, after Lauri went higher than $900 after Bob said lower, clearly not listening
"We've finally hit the bottom. The Bottom family is here!" - Bob, on the Bottom group in the audience
"Where can we go from there? Only up, meaning the Up group should be here next week!" - Bob, still having fun with the Bottoms
"With all these Bottoms, I end with a phony here! It's the story of my life!" - Bob, after Kyle Collins (part of the Bottom group) was called down. Kyle's grandmother's last name was Bottom, hence why he was with the group
"I bet he wants to take the $1,000 and quit!" - Bob, after Dustin rolled four cars in his first roll on Let 'Em Roll
"You know, with his standing above me, celebrating and waving this thing (the large cup for the dice) around, I felt I was in real danger. I got rid of him real quick!" - Bob, on Dustin's celebration after he won the car
"Audience, I don't know whether you helped this young man, or confused him!" - Bob, on the audience's conflicting advice to Benjamin during Clearance Sale
"I look down here in Contestant's Row. Theresa, Alesha and Barbara are looking intently at the prize. Jade is down here doing callestenics. Literally, doing callestenics. I think that's taking exercise too far!" - Bob, on the overly energetic Jade
"Well, thank you. Let's just forget the game and talk about me!" - Bob, after Barbara won her way up on stage and said Bob's better looking in person
"I'll tell you, we use old cameras and they make me look older than I already am!" - Bob, on why he "looks better in person"
"This may be the longest come on down in Price Is Right history! Mae, come on down! No, don't stop her! No embracing! This is only an hour show!" - Bob, on Mae's incredibly lengthy come on down
"She may not have won a prize, but she's developed a bicep!" - Bob, on Jade's musculars arms (and prior exercising on Contestant's Row)
"This Check Game has been on the show a good, long time!" - Bob, after Derrick said he didn't know how to play Check Game since he hadn't seen it for "a good, long time"
"How did you ever get into Penn State?" - Bob, after Derrick still had no idea how to play Check Game
"One thing he has learned while at Penn State, much to the dismay of his father, is how to write checks!" - Bob, after Derrick finished writing the check
"It's not an overbid!" - Bob, after the contestants managed to avoid an overbid after two straight
"I'm just going to sit down while she does her callestenics!" - Bob, after Elisabeth won her way up on stage and kept jumping around and screaming
"The interesting thing is he didn't look at his wife until he got done to the olive oil. He thought he knew the price of all of these. Now, if you're way off, blame your wife!" - Bob, after Lloyd said he had no idea about the prices, but then ignored his wife's advice on the first three items
"My man, you should've been listening to your wife clear back here, at the pain reliever!" - Bob, after Lloyd badly missed the first three items, then was right on the nose (with his wife's help) on the last two
The Barkerism Of The Week from "two weeks ago":
"You know, I just had a young mother stand up and thank me profusely for curing her baby's colic. He's not a baby anymore? They're 11 and 8? Both of them were cured of their colic by watching The Price Is Right. Now, the first thing I want to know is how I can make money curing babies!" - Dr. Bob, on finding out that he and TPIR can work medical wonders
And "last week's":
Bob: "And this pretty little Candace has added something new to The Price Is Right vocabulary! As you recall, she played Pick A Number, where all you do is choose one number and put it in the price, and hopefully you win. Well, she said 'You gave me a blonde game to play!'"
Candace: "Yeah, and I screwed it up!"
Bob: "Proving that you really are a blonde!"
New episodes - and new Barkerisms - will resume today. Woo hoo!
posted by Deborah at 7:05 AM
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