The Madge Is Right, bitch!

Barkerisms: Why not bid on Bob's pants, too? Edition

2006-09-30T03:55:00.000-07:00

And we have even more fun from Studio 33!

"You know, you're a problem. You're a problem, Mildred!" - Bob, after he had trouble hearing Mildred's bid

"Could he buy just one from the hostess set? Maybe? He can't? Sorry, I did all I could to help you!" - Bob, on Dustin's $356 remaining credit limit in Credit Card

"She's falling apart on The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Melinda's bracelet fell off

"Now, just try to stay on your feet over there!" - Bob, after Melinda "spun herself to the ground" during her second spin

"She should've been playing Least Expensive today!" - Bob, after Barbara picked the least expensive prize in Most Expensive

"Don gave me a great putter during one of the commercials. Now, let me assure you that had nothing to do with his name getting called!" - Bob, after Don was called on down

"I'm not hurrying her because she's acting as thought she's overcome with seeing me! And, as long as she acts like that, she can take as long as she wants!" - Bob, after Jolene kept patting her chest and complimenting Bob instead of bidding

Bob: "What were you bidding on?!"
Jolene: "You!"
(And why don't more contestants try to bid on Bob?!)

"Jordan, why did you ever change your mind? Nobody would've ever noticed. You could've just gone right on and played a game!" - Bob, after Jordan got called, walked up on stage, shook Bob's hand then went down to Contestant's Row

"You've come out from New Jersey, and now you're $1,100 in debt in California!" - Bob, after Josette finished Buy Or Sell with -$1,100

"Now, I really want William to win, since he has gone through so much trouble to be here with us today. William lives... 20 miles from our studio! And here here is now with us on stage!" - Bob, on William's lengthy journey

"Would one of the nurses come up and look at this, please?!" - Bob, after Connie broke a nail

"My greatest concern is that perhaps in your excitement you have broken another nail!" - Bob, after Connie found out she could win a car

"And the actual retail price is... I bet you don't win with that $100, Katelyn" - Bob, on Katelyn's insanely low bid

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think that after putting the effort that Shane put in getting into that shot, we should have a hand for her!" - Bob, after Shane had to run over to model the sofa up for bids

This week's Barkerism of the Week not had Bob picking on Rich, but even got Rich on camera!

"I have been talking with the audience during that commercial, and a mathematician pointed out to me that we have played one, two, three, four games without having a winner on The Price Is Right. Now, I think that is disgusting, don't you?! Aren't there any winners out there?! I know what the problem is... Rich Fields has been calling the wrong names! Let's all boo Rich! Boo! Boo!" - Bob, scapegoating Rich for the string of losses

Barkerisms: 35th Season premiere/147,517 reasons to watch edition!

2006-09-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Here they come! The Barkerisms from Premiere Week! And with the season premiere being such a special show (for more than one reason), I'll even include a few significant, non-Barkerism lines from the show that kicked off TPIR's 35th season.

"Here it comes! From the Bob Barker Studio at CBS in Hollywood! The first show of our record-breaking 35th year on CBS! It's the fabulous sixty minute Price Is Right!" - Rich, opening up the 35 season premiere

"And now, here is the star of The Price Is Right, a man who is celebrating his fiftieth year in television: Bob Barker!" - Rich, introducing The Man himself

"Welcome to the first show of the thirty fifth year on CBS for The Price Is Right!" - Bob, kicking off this historic day

Michael: "Can I take any out of my pocket?"
Bob: "You can't take any out of your pocket, no, and I can't loan you any!"
- Michael and Bob while playing Lucky $even during the season premiere

"During that commercial, I was talking with Roger Dobkowitz, our producer. I said 'Why didn't you tell me about that confetti?' Because that came as a complete surprise to me. He said 'I didn't have anything to do with the confetti!'. I said 'Where did it come from?' He says there is a member of the audience who ran down there. There he is! He's still throwing that confetti around! Look at that! That's where the confetti came from! We're celebrating here, but I thought I knew all the things we were doing to celebrate, but he added a new one on me! Thank you for your investment in the production of the show today!" - Bob, on the mysterious confetti-thrower at the season premiere (and, yes, Maddy took a handful of it home with her!)

"I love you! I do! I tell you, she says she loves me, and I told her I love her. I love her, and all of us on this stage love all of you, because without you... Without you, and people just like you there at home watching our show, we would never have lasted 34 years on CBS!" - Bob, thanking all of us for our role in helping this show last 34 years

Adam: "I love you!"
Bob: "I love you, too, Adam! This studio is filled with love!"
- Bob and Adam, right after Adam gets called down to Contestant's Row (And as someone who was in that studio that day, believe me, it was filled with love)

Adam: "Bob, can I say I've loved your show forever, for as long as I can remember. And I want to say hi to my girlfriend Stephanie and my little brother Brandon, and..." *turns around to show off the back of his shirt
Bob: "Adam... This Is Your Life!"
- Bob and Adam, during the last One-Bid

"Poor Carolyn, all she's won is three cars!" - Bob, during the second Showcase Showdown

"But, if you are the winner, and you're $250 or less away from the retail price of your own showcase, we will give you both showcases! And the way things have gone today, it would not surprise me one bit to have it happen!" - Bob, explaining the rules of the Showcases during the season premiere (just a few minutes before Vickyann did just that to win a daytime record $147,517 in cash and prizes)

"I've never had a contestant make MORE BIDDING! than Shawn does!" - Bob, on Shawn's over the top antics while bidding

Mariel: "Why me?!"
Bob: "Because you didn't get anything right over there!"
- Bob, on why Mariel was left with 8 boxes in 1/2 Off

Bob: "I just found out something interesting that I must pursue. We have all of the Beverly Hills Police Department over here! Now, in Contestant's Row, I have Shawn. But you don't work there, you're a volunteer? Are all of you volunteers?"
Shawn: "We have everything. Forensics specialists, police officers."
Bob: "You have a forensics expert? Over there? And who's the police officer? Oh, several of them are. But, let me point out that during the commercial, I was presented with a shirt from the Beverly Hills Police Department, and it's a Get Out Of Jail shirt, should I be arrested in Beverly Hills. But the thing that concerns me is that my Get out Of Jail shirt is from a volunteer, not from anyone with any authority! So, I am going to continue to behave myself in Beverly Hills!"
- Bob, who obviously doesn't have any plans to become an outlaw now

Bob: "Who told you to keep going? You asked someone."
Jennifer: "A couple of those dudes over there!"
Bob: "Do you know those dudes over there?"
Jennifer: "No."
Bob: "What makes you think those dudes know what's going on?"
Jennifer: "Go on!"
Bob: "Okay. Simply because a couple dudes in the audience told her to. And now you have $100. Now, wait just a moment. Is there anything you'd like to say to those dudes?"
Jennifer: "Tell me what to do and get it right this time!"
Bob: "The same dudes?! I'd find myself some different dudes!"
- Bob and Jennifer (who had $500 and gave it back) during the playing on Punchboard (and showing the audience doesn't always know best

"Hello, welcome to the stage! Now, I suppose you think that during the commercial, when I told you that you look so good for 80 years old, that you pass for 65, I suppose you think you can just come up on stage and playing a pricing game and win a wonderful prize, ignoring the fact that you never stopped in Contestant's Row? Well, it's not going to work. Get off this stage! Get down where you belong!" - Bob, after Marylinn thought "Come on down!" means "Come on up on stage!"

"She spun the wheel without checking with those two dudes!" - Bob, after Jennifer chose to spin again

"I can't believe you! During the commercial break, the contestants down here sit in these sits. Well, Marylinn gets up and tries to get up on stage again! Cory from Iowa State had to grab her and keep her down there! Now, you stay down there until we tell you to come up here!" - Bob, after Marylinn tries to sneak up yet again!

"Right down here! Don't try that!" - Bob, as Jeannie started heading toward the stairs after she was picked

Bob: "You'll either be a winner, or you won't..."
Dale: "Please!"
Bob: "I hate it when contestants beg! Just take it! Take it like a 60 year old woman!"

"Now, you had that wrong, so you should not get your $4,000, but I am giving you the $4,000. It's coming out of my salary. All of you people who are affected by this emotionally, just send me money, here in Hollywood!" - Bob, after he blew the reveal on It's In The Bag

Bob: "That's an interesting way to play the game."
Brandy: "It's how my grandmother told me to play the game."
Bob: "Your grandmother told you to do that? Well, you're going to be in trouble if you're off by $500!"
- Bob, on Brandy's playing of Clock Game (where she counted from $750 to $766 by $1 each on the first prize)

Great stuff. But the Barkerism Of The Week from Kickoff Week goes to Dr. Bob, once again dishing out psychological insights...

Bob: "Today's Dale's 60th birthday! I just happen to have a lovely little birthday present behind... What?"
Dale: "I hope it's big!"
Bob: "Some women are never satisfied with anything!"
- Bob and Dale, on her potential "birthday present" (which turned out to be a new van)

Greatest. Episode. EVER!

2006-09-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

After an eighteen day wait, the rest of America finally got to watch what I first witnessed. Believe me, biting my tongue about this for nearly three weeks was painful, as you are about to see.

If you have not yet watched this episode, there are MAJOR spoilers in this post. You may want to wait and watch it yourself first.

If you have seen it, or don't plan to, read away and enjoy!

"HERE IT COMES! From the Bob Barker Studio at CBS in Hollywood! The first show of our record-breaking 35th year on CBS! It's the fabulous sixth minute Price Is Right!"

IUFB/PG #1: And with those words, we're off. After Kimala, Maria, Michael and William become the first four lucky people to get called on down to Contestant's Row, Bob makes his entrance through door #2 - greeted with a thunderous ovation (one, sadly, that TV just couldn't capture. You HAD to be there!)

And the first item up for bids in this landmark show? How about a $3,960 trip to Cancun!
Michael wins his way up on stage, and get to play Lucky $even... For a Cadillac CTS!

You can not imagine the electricity in the place when the car was reveal. Why? For those who don't watch, the cars played for in L$ are pushed out on stage. So imagine the thrill at watching that thing roll on out!

Michael's first guess was a 5, and lost $3 of his $7 when the door opened to reveal a 2.

His guess on the third number was a 7. The door opened to, sadly, reveal a 3 - costing Michael his last $4 and starting off season 35 with a kick to the gut.

OUCH!

Or, as Bob put it: "What a terrible way to start the 35th year on CBS!"

IUFB/PG #2: After the commercial break, Rich calls Carolyn on down to join the fun. The next item up for bids is a fitness bicycle, with a retail price of $1,999. Maria wins her way up on stage.

How do you top kicking off the season with Lucky $even for a Cadillac? How about 3 Strikes for a Corvette!

3 Strikes has always been one of my favorite games. It's played for expensive cars, and the gameplay is very exciting!

We watch as Bob puts the five numbers into the bag: The 0, the 1, the 3, the 5, and the 9. Then, of course, that evil red strike...

We're all thinking the price is $53,190. Of course, it isn't just about knowledge in this game. You need some luck as well.

Maria's first draw? The 0. She wisely chooses to put it fifth, which is correct.

Her second draw? The 9. She guesses third, and is once again correct.

Third pick? The 5. She goes with the obvious choice - first - and is rewarded by being correct yet again.

Fourth pick? The 3. She guesses second, and sure enough, it's second.

Four down, 1 to go - literally!

At this point, the audience is chanting "1! 1! 1! 1!" - which Mike and I started, of course. :P

Damn! The strike! Strike one...

1! 1! 1! 1!

No! Strike two!

Now it's nervous time in the Bob Barker Studio. We go from looking like we may have an exacta, and now are worried about a heartbreaking loss.

1! 1! 1! 1! 1!

And she draws.... the 1! WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER OF SEASON 35! A $53,910 Corvette, and the audience is going nuts!

I still love 3 Stikes, but that aged me FIVE YEARS! From looking like she was on her way to a clean sweep, to a full count? It's not nice to scary Maddy so!

IUFB/PG #3: Next to join our party is Vickyann. Next up for bids is a grandfather clock, valued at $3,285! Kimala wins her way up on stage, just in time to hear everyone's favorite words....

Yep, Kimala, you're about to play Plinko!

Oh, boy.

The first time I saw Plinko in person, I watched in horror as Andrew got all five chips - and put four of them into $0 and won a total of $500.

So, needless to say, I was a little nervous about this one.

Kimala also got all five chips, and all we could do at that point was cross our fingers and hope for the best.

Chip #1? $0!

Oh, no. Not again.. NOT TODAY!

Chip #2 brought more excitement... And $10,000! The Maddy Plinko curse is over! Break up The Maddy!

The third chip found it's way into $1,000, for a total of $11,000.

The fourth chip landed for another $100.

And the final chip dropped into $500, for a total of $11,600 - a HUGE improvement over my first experience with Plinko.

Showcase Showdown #1: Time to roll out the big wheel, because it's Showcase Showdown time! Michael, Kimala and Maria will be spinning for a spot in the Showcases, and perhaps even some cash.

Michael leads us off, getting a mere 45 cents in his first spin. His second spin is a suspensful one that stops of 25, giving him 70 cents total.

Next up is Kimala. Her first spin goes for only 30 cents, and she must spin again. Her second stop on 40, giving her a tie with Michael - and a spinoff if Maria doesn't beat them.

However, you can quickly forget those ideas. Maria gets 85 cents in her first spin, moving onto the Showcases at the end of the show.

IUFB/PG #4: Elissa becomes the next lucky audience member to be announced by Rich, and makes her way to Contestant's Row. Now we are bidding on a hot tub, valued at $3,495!

Wow, you know it's one special day when the prizes offered up for bids are the kinds of prizes usually offering in pricing games!

Vickyann wins her way up on stage, and gets to play Push Over for a Dodge Caravan SE.

This was a game that stumped me. I thought it would be the first choice possible ($19,460, the first five cubes). However, I read up after the taping that there is an unwritten rule that they NEVER use the first available choice in this game.

Vickyann went past that, and settled on $20,194. I was worried about her choice, but it was the only remaining choice that made any sense.

After stopping there, Bob asked the audience if we thought we had another winner - and got a mixed reaction.

Well, I'll eat crow, because Bob opened the flap to reveal... $20,194! And yet another winner, and another standing ovation!

And for those of you keeping score at home, we've reached the halfway point of our extravaganza. We have two winners in four games (three with the unofficial Plinko win). They've given away two vehicles and over $11,000 in cash.

And we still have two pricing games and the Showcases to go...

IUFB/PG #5: Adam is next to take a trip down to Contestant's Row, and next up for bids is a queen-sized bid, valued at $3,084!

William, the last of the first four contestants, gets up on stage to play Double Prices.

Double Prices is usually not one of the more exciting pricing games. They offer a prize, and show two price tags. Pick the right one, and you win. About it's only redeeming quality is that it is one of the original pricing games, dating back to the very first show.

Well, today Double Prices will be exciting, thanks to the fact that William is playing for an 18 foot skiboat!

Mike and I actually saw the prop for Double Prices rolled out during the One-Bid, and my jaw dropped. Holy shit! A prize that is either $16,112, or $18,994?!

Fortunately, there is a little rule of thumb when it comes to boats on boats on The Price Is Right: Take the length of the boat and multiply it by $1,000. So, that boat just screamed $18,994.

That was William's choice - and the correct one! We have another winner! We have another standing ovation! And during the commercial break, William had fun posing near his boat and the big doors.

IUFB/PG #6: Well, it's now time for one last contestant. And that would be Deborah...

No. I'm kidding. No luck. Margaret gets to come on down. Our last item up for bids was a drum set - and our first overbid of the year, as all four contestants were over.

The second time around, Carolyn wins that $1,080 drum set, and her way up on stage - just in time for our jaws to drop some more.

Before revealing the prizes, Bob told Carolyn that she was about to play Most Expensive. Most Expensive is another quickie game that isn't one of the more exciting games on The Price Is Right. It's played for three prizes. If the contestant picks the most expensive of the three prizes, they win all three.

When Bob said they were just about to play Most Expensive, on this show, with these prizes, I put my hand over my mouth and said "Oh my god".. Because I had a feeling what was coming next...

And imagine the thrill in the studio when door #1 opened to reveal... A new PT Cruiser!

And behind door #2... A new Jeep Wrangler SE!

And door #3... A Chevy Impala LS!

Holy shit! Three cars!

Most of the audience was thinking it was the Impala. I knew it was the Jeep. Which led to an exchange with a person in the row in front of me:

Person: "What?! Are you crazy?! It's the Impala!"
Me: "That's a $19,000 Jeep."
Person: "And that Impala is over $20,000!"
Me: "Not for an Impala LS. Those are the low-end ones. It's about $17,000."

Well, Carolyn picks the Jeep, so they'll reveal that one last...

The PT Cruiser? $16,000.

The Impala? $16,990.

At that point, the person in front of me turns around to say "Wow. I think you're right!"

So, now, time to reveal the price of the Jeep.... $19,135!

It's another winner, and over $50,000 in cars!

So that's four wins (five, counting Plinko).. That's 6 cars, a boat, and $11,600 in cash!

All that's left to go is the second Showcase Showdown, and those "Fabulous Showcases"...

Showcase Showdown #2: In the second Showdown, we have William, we have Vickyann, and we have Carolyn.

William leads us off, and posts a tough score right off the bat: 95 cents. He obviously stays, and take his chances.

However, that score didn't last very long... Vickyann gets that $1.00 in her first spin, winning $1,000 and forcing Carolyn to tie her.

That, by the way, marked the second time I've seen someone get $1.00 in person.

Carolyn's first spin goes for 40 cents. Now only the 60 will help, but it's not to be. She gets only 45 cents in the second spin.

Sadly, this taping also makes it 2 for 2 of watching a contestant get nothing in their bonus spin. Vickyann gets 40 cents, but she is moving onto the Showcases with Maria!

Showcases: Now, most people get fired up to hear Plinko is about to be played. Me? Give me those Showcases. Maybe it dates back to the fact I watched the show since 1979. Why? Back then, you only had one cash game (Punchboard), and 99% of the time they played for cars, they were cars well under $10,000.

The Showcases were the thing. That was often where we saw the big prizes. Besides, there is no thrill like seeing a contestant win both Showcases - nor the heartbreak of watching a Double Overbid.

And this being a season premiere? Believe me, I was anticipating fireworks for these Showcases...

Showcase #1 was a trip to New York City, an assortment of digital cameras, and a brand new Saturn Sky!

Mind you, I had no idea what that car was until today. I didn't recognize it, and despite sitting five feet away from Rich Fields, I couldn't hear him. So I was lost on that car, but I was thinking it looked fairly expensive, and would go for about $35,000-$40,000 alone.

Maria, who was the top winner and had the choice of Showcases, chose to bid on this. She bid $35,000, which I was thinking was a fairly decent bid.

So now Showcase #2 belongs to Vickyann.

Her showcase starts off with a JBL home theater system. Next up is a Robotron/Joust arcade game.

But, before going to the third prize, let me give you a bit of a story...

While in line, Mike and I chatted with someone named Donald. He told us that the evening before, around 5:00 pm, he was bored and looked out the window of his hotel room to see something being brought into Television City. A certain something that he believed to be very fast, and very expensive.

Well, he saw right. Because the last prize in Vickyann's showcase was a Dodge Viper!

Vickyann, after saying "hi" to a few people, gives a bid of $89,500. This was not a popular bid with the audience. People were shouting "$60,000" and "$70,000". For a Showcase with a Viper?! That car is over $80,000 by itself!

Vickyann's bid was scary. Because it could've been close - close good, or close bad. And while going over at all costs you the Showcase (as someone said during the commercial break), it's the close overbids that HURT. I mean, if someone is over by $10,000, they're over, you know it, you forget about them...

Well, it's finally time to reveal the prices of those Showcases. And the best way to do it is let Bob's own words speak for themselves...

"Maria, you have bid $35,000 on your showcase. And the actual retail price is... $33,089. You are over. And Vickyann, if you don't go over, you're a winner."

Now, at this point, it's nervous time in the Bob Barker Studio. I mean, after all the excitement, all the winning, all the fireworks, to possibly have a Double Overbid?! The horror!

On the other hand, though? This could be incredible. This could be exciting. But a double showcase win? Naw... It couldn't happen... Could it?

It's time to find out the price of Vickyann's Showcase. At this point, I'm standing there, unable to see anything. Where I was, the cameraman blocked the view of her Showcase podium, so I was stuck looking up at the monitors and hoping I can hear Bob:

"You bid $89,500 on your showcase. And Vickyann, the actual retail price of your showcase is... Eighty nine thousand...."

At this moment, I'm looking up at the monitor, thinking "Oh, god, please don't be a painful overbid."

"...Seven..."

The audience goes nuts. Now I can't even hear Bob! All I can do is look up at the monitors to see them put up the difference on the display.

239. TWO HUNDRED THIRTY-NINE DOLLARS. I stand there, point at the monitor, and scream at the top of my lungs for a few seconds before I shout "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! LOOK WHAT SHE JUST DID!"

"...thirty nine! YOU WIN BOTH SHOWCASES! Both showcases!"

Still unable to hear Bob, I see Vickyann's total flash up on the monitor. $147,517!

"You have won $147,517! Vickyann is the biggest winner in Price Is Right history, daytime!"

334 people are now on their feet, screaming, applauding and in an utter state of shock. A DOUBLE SHOWCASE WIN! A minivan, a Saturn Sky, a Viper, various other prizes, and $1,000 in cash! What a haul!

You can see I was not kidding when I said I sacrificed my voice for television history! I screamed! I shouted! I pumped my fists! I high-fived random strangers!

While I prefer Vin Scully's call for Kirk Gibson's home run in the 1988 World Series, the more fitting quote here was Jack Buck's: "I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!"

Thanks to heelsrule1988 on Golden-Road.net, you too can watch this historic moment. He posted Vickyann's Showcase reveal on YouTube. Click here and enjoy!

There are a list of things I have always wanted to see in person. I want to see Hole In One played. I want to see someone get $1.00 in their bonus spin (especially a Million Dollar Spectacular). I want to see Golden Road played - especially if it's won. I want to see Triple Play. I wanted to see 3 Strikes - which did happen.

And, I wanted to see a Double Showcase Win.

And not only did I get to see it unfold, but to see the biggest daytime winner in not only TPIR history, but CBS history! Vickyann's winnings shattered the previous record, held by the infamous Michael Larson - who of course memorized the patterns on Press Your Luck's big board, taking home $110,237 in 1984.

For this, I am sure CBS is grateful.

After the show, with a hoarse voice and exhausted, I got to run into Vickyann and her husband. And just like with Jeanette, I congratulated her on her record-shattering victory.

What an incredible day. What an incredible moment. Ladies and gentlemen, season 35 has kicked off in grand fashion!

And words cannot express how grateful I was there to witness it, first-hand.

Congratulations, Vickyann!

I sacrificed my voice for television history!

2006-09-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I attended my fourth taping of The Price Is Right. However, this wasn't just any taping... This was a piece of television history - the premiere episode for TPIR's 35th season!

Needless to say, spirits were high, and the energy from this crowd could've powered all of Southern California. I thought the first three tapings were energetic and passionate... NOTHING could've prepared me for this. Not only was there more energy and passion yesterday than the previous three tapings combined, but Michael and I both did our share of fueling that energy throughout the day.

We all knew this was big, but we didn't realize just how big until we saw the media attention that our little party was about to get. A crew from Entertainment Tonight Canada showed up just after 10:00 am to speak to little ol' us. Countless pictures were snapped of the audience members as they waited to enter. And when we did enter, we were greeted with a number of cameras (both still and video) up on stage.

When I attended my first taping back in November, I had spoken of the feeling of walking into a piece of history. That was magnified by about 10,000 yesterday. This truly was a celebration of 35 seasons of history, of a show that started off as a game show and has turned into a true piece of American culture.

No matter what would happen during those 60 minutes that all of America will see, I knew I was taking part in a truly unforgettable, one of a kind experience...

And I'll do my best to take you through some of it with us.

Chuck ROCKS! Poor Chuck. He seemed so happy and excited on April 27, when he posted on Golden-Road.net and told us he had just been hired to be a page at CBS, and would get to work TPIR occasionally...

I don't think ANYTHING could've prepared him for what he was about to face.

Chuck, just after 10:00 am, went through the rules and regulations with an over-the-top speech (I jokingly referred to it as "Shatner on crack"). During that speech, he touched on the fact that you must put your LEGAL first name on your contestant card, citing the example that he would put "Charles"...

However, he made the mistake of saying "Don't call me Charles!", so of course once he finished his speech, I shouted "THANK YOU, CHARLES!"

Poor Chuck. We were only getting started... Because a couple of idiots *sweet, angelic smile* at the end of the first bench started up the first "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!" chant of the day as he walked by to start collecting contestant cards. And, sure enough, a few seconds later that chant of two had turned into a chant of about 120 as everyone joined in...

Michael had his fun with Chuck's delivery of the rules, by greeting him with an equally over the top "HERE I COME TO SAAAAAAVE THE DAY!" when Chuck came by to collect his contestant card.

Chuck's response? A flat, sarcastic "Thank you, Michael."

Chuck disappeared for about 30 minutes (probably trying to get away from us), then was greeted with yet another chant when he returned. I then chimed in with "What were you doing, Chuck? Calling security on us?! Because I would if I were you!"

Oh, boy.

It carried on all day...

Chuck walked around the corner (and past me as I was out there smoking)? I start up, and next thing you know 20 other people join in... "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"

He walks over to fire us up around noon? "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"

He tells us about his own experience as a contestant (which aired March 31 of last year)? "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"

He asked how many Yankees fans were here, so he could insult the Yankees? "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"

I think (though I can't say for certain) that he decided to get us to chant something else, so he encouraged us to chant "BOB! BOB! BOB!" when Bob entered the studio that afternoon... Which worked for a while.

Because, of course, when he went over to warm up the people around the corner, he left hearing - you guessed it! - "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"

Poor, poor Chuck...

Michael and I tried to get chants started for the other pages as well ("SA-RA! SA-RA! SA-RA!"), but these just didn't take off...

Of course, the wait in line consisted of more of the usual insanity: Cheering other potential contestants after their interviews completed, cheering people as they came around the corner after completing their interviews, cheering people as they entered and exited the restrooms, and so many high-fives it's a miracle our hands didn't fall off...

I don't think at this point Rich needed to warm us up after we entered the studio - any hotter, and we would've set Bob on fire!

Next stop: Television history! Fifteen minutes later than usual, we finally make that walk into Mecca itself - with the obligatory high-fives on the way in.

Usually upon entering the Bob Barker Studio, we enter to the lights dimmed and a fairly empty stage... Not today.

Instead, the lights are on, and we're greeted with three people with video cameras and a still photographer. And, the staff wasted no time cranking up the music and trying to get 334 people even more fired up.

It certainly worked...

People clapped, people screamed, people danced, the only thing missing from this party (at this point) were Bob, Rich and an assortment of prizes.

But at the moment, we didn't need them... We had energy. We had music.

And we had Chuck!

Yes, Chuck was in the studio, having the honor of working inside the Bob Barker Studio for this historic day...

And, sure enough, two people greeted him with "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"... Which turned into 334 people chanting his name...

He paraded around, carrying the sign which stated the air date for this episode... "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!"...

He then did it again, and you guessed it - another chant!

Finally, they cranked up Crystal Waters' "Come On Down", briefly dimmed the lights, and out came Rich Fields to warm us up, greeted with not only a standing ovation, but you guessed it...

"RICH! RICH! RICH!"

Well, sure enough, he got us even more fired up. He drilled us on what to do upon hearing the phrase "Bob Barker" (a thunderous standing ovation and chant), and set himself up again for yet another Madgeism...

Rich: "27 years ago, I was sitting right there in the back for my first taping. It was 1979, I had just turned 18. You do the math..."

Maddy: "19!"

Rich: "Bless your little heart! Deborah, you said that? Get her name down, I need to send her a Christmas card! Deborah, what's your last name?"

Maddy: "Gibson!"

Rich: "Gibson.. Wait a minute.. That makes you Debbie Gibson!"

Maddy: "Uhh.. Yeah!"

He went through the story about his first "turn" as announcer (when Johnny let him take the microphone before the show and shout "Johnny Olson, come on down!".. The good news/bad news routine ("The bad news is, we have rules. The good news is, I just saved a bunch of money on my insurance by switching to Geico!"), and the usual drill ("Yes, you can hug." "Yes, ladies, you can kiss." "Ladies, no sloppy kisses. Guys, no kissing!")

And, now, it was finally about that time.. After hours of cheering Chuck, and Rich, and each other...

Bob has entered the building! The Man himself makes his entrance, greeted with a thunderous ovation and an equally thunderous chant of "BOB! BOB! BOB!" - one which didn't stop until the first item up for bids was revealed...

He was then greeted with yet another after the first pricing game, and his usual response of "Please, thank you. One standing ovation a day is enough for a man like me!" received the response of "No, it's not!" from Michael...

And it certainly wasn't.. Not today. Not kicking off your 35th season of The Price Is Right... And not kicking off your 50th season on television!

Bob was in prime form today, no doubt fired up as well.

During the commercial breaks, we heard requests ("Bob, can you wish my mother a happy 85th birthday?" "You tell your mother when you get home that Bob Barker said 'Happy 85th birthday!'"), we heard compliments (Thanking him for all the great years, and one who thanked him for all his animal rights work, saying the world would be a better place with more people like him - greeted with yet another "BOB! BOB! BOB!" chant), and of course... Barkerisms!

After the THIRD standing ovation of the day: "First, you're going to spoil me. Second, we still have an hour to go!" Rich replied to that by yelling "They love you, Bob!"

Boy, did he have that right... I think we tried to give him more applause that day than the previous 34 seasons COMBINED!

In response to those of us who were born AFTER The Price Is Right debuted: "Can you imagine what your parents did BEFORE The Price Is Right?" (after a pregnent pause) "They watched Truth Or Consequences!"

After a mini-group (we had no full, official groups yesterday) calling themselves "Barker's Dirty Dozen" got his attention: "There's more than a dozen of you!" (There were 13, as in a baker's dozen - or would that be a baRker's dozen?)

Another group, calling themselves "Bob's Adopted Kids" got his attention: "That's a scary sight to wake up to!"

Another mini group wearing orange shirts with the Texas flag, saying "Don't mess with Barker": "You're not a group. You're just a bunch of people in orange shirts!"

In response to the three mini groups: "So I have Bob's Dirty Dozen, Bob's Adopted Kids, and Bob's guys in orange shirts!"

Two people try to pass themselves off as a group: "You're not a group! You're just two people!"

Four others try it: "You're not a group! You're just four people who went drinking together last night!"

On why he hasn't done anymore movies: "I refuse to do any nude scenes!"

After a few people brought gifts for Bob: "If any of you are embarassed because you didn't bring a gift, money will do quite nicely!"

After one of the "Dirty Dozen" asked for a kiss: "Can't you see I'm working up here?! However, I'll meet you in the parking lot after the show!"

A man posed a trivia question to Bob (What is Quamba, and where is it). Bob and everyone on stage plays pass the question ("Uhh, you take this one, Rich." "No, this is yours, Marty!"). Bob finally suggests it's a beer, Rich thinks is tequilia. Once they're given the answer (a town in Minnesota with 89 people), Bob slaps his thigh and yells "Damn! I knew that! Wait, are you sure it's 89 people? I could've sworn there were only 88!"

After the second person asked for a handshake "If I shook everyone's hand, I'd be here all night! I may as well run for office at this point!" (But, yes, he shook her hand)

(The first person to ask for a handshake was a handicapped person who walked with a cane. Bob said "Of course!", shook his hand, then he walked over to get a hug from Rich - and was warmly applauded by the audience.)

Bob also made the mistake of trying to share the applause by urging us to give a round of applause to the staff there at CBS. This led to - you guessed it - one last chant of "CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!".

At this point, Chuck must've either felt 15 feet tall, or looking to crawl into a hole and bury himself!

Another person asked Bob how they could get Rich's job: "You can't. Rich is staying with me forever!" (I was sitting right near Rich, and looked over to see him shaking his finger at the person who asked)

Poor Roger Dobkowitz even got it during the show. Why? Because someone in the audience kept running up and throwing confetti throughout the show, and did so right after Bob entered... Bob thought (at first) that it was cooked up by Roger, and said "I thought you told me everything you were going to do!", which inspired a two person chant of "DOB! DOB! DOB!"

Roger was looking right over at us, and then wasn't seen for a few more minutes after that. We must've scared him off..

What can I say but I did it! I stopped The Dob!

But, we got two great ones...

"Bob, what's your secret to looking so young and being so healthy?"
"What's my secret, you ask? Booze!"
(Audience erupts, and yet another "BOB! BOB! BOB!" chant begins)
"You're only doing that because you're a bunch of drunks! I was joking!" (he then went on to say it's his diet and exercise)

But, you can't have a historic, monumental episode of The Price Is Right without THE Barkerism, the one that started it all...

"Bob, speaking of movies, can we hear a line from Happy Gilmore?"

"That would not be appropriate! I can't say that here! There are women here! See Fingers Greco over there? I don't think she should hear that!" *audience cheers some more, egging him on* "And we have the vice president of CBS Daytime over here too!" (Sorry, I didn't catch her name) "Okay, I'll ask her if I should say it..." *audience erupts again* "Don't do that! Don't try to sway her!"

"Okay.. These young people over here want me to say 'The price is right, bitch!'" *audience goes nuts, drowns out the rest of what Bob says, as he is greeted with yet another chant*

And not only that, but Bob is now aware of the whole concept of Barkerisms!

Michael raised his hand at one point to ask a question, and this was the exchange that took place:

Michael: "We get a kick out of all the jokes and stories you tell during the commercial breaks - in fact, we refer to them as Barkerisms. Have you ever considered taping them, releasing them on DVD, and giving the proceeds to animal rights organizations?"

Bob: You know, that is a great idea! Thank you!"

Michael: "Just a second. Bob? Actually, that wasn't my idea. It's her idea!" *pointing at me*

Bob *looking at me*: "It is a great idea. Thank you!"

Talk about high praise! Wow...

Just an unbelievable day, with a surreal ending... After the show wrapped up, Bob walked up (greeted with one last standing ovation), thanked everyone, and asked for us to give a round of applause to "the best announcer in the business, Rich Fields" - with Bob surrounded by nearly a dozen cameras and microphones from the various media agencies here to cover this piece of history.

Rich, of course, got more than applause, as he too got a standing O, and one last chant as he and Bob briefly hugged.

What a day!

As for the show itself, a contestant... No. I can't tell you. I can't share what happened. I won't play the spoiler. All I will say is if you are a fan of The Price Is Right, you MUST watch this episode, which will air September 18. You won't want to miss this! Consider this Must See TV! Watch it! Tape it! Tivo it! Just make sure you watch!

No, I wasn't picked. My involvement with this historic day consisted of cheering, screaming, chanting and watching everything in person.

Oh, yes... And getting an autograph.

After the show, I walked up to Rich Fields, shook hands, and then got him to sign the back of my contestant card. So, now I have a neon pink card, with a giant "044" on it (how fitting as a lifelong Reggie Jackson fan), signed by Rich Fields. :)

But you know what? I wouldn't have missed it for anything...

Except maybe a date with Madonna.

Here's to 35 amazing seasons, and here's hoping for 35 more!

Barkerisms: Season 34's in the books edition

2006-06-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Here they finally are, the Barkerisms from the final 7 episodes of season 34. Enjoy!

"You need a new group of friends!" - Bob, after Danielle's group told her to stop in It's In The Bag (costing her a chance to win $4,000)

"Remedios, don't make this difficult! They'll answer, wherever they are!" - Bob, after Remedios turned playing One Away into utter confusion

"Everybody's in a hurry on this show today!" - Bob, after TWO contestants in the same show headed right up on stage after being called

"Now I have Diane bookends here!" - Bob, after a Diane got called down to fill the empty spot at the end of Contestant's Row (and there was already a Diane on the other end)

"That is far and away the most popular bid of the day thus far!" - Bob, after Ronald bid $1

Diane: "Come on, Bob!"
Bob: "It's not my fault! I just pull it out! Don't blame ol' Bob!"
- Bob, after Diane drew an envelope with 0 in it on Pocket Change

"I'm so glad there's not another overbid!" - Bob, not only after an overbid, but after John dragged things out (not know what he was bidding on, not paying attention to anyone else's bids)

"I just noticed: You're all still standing! Get seated, please! I think that is the longest standing ovation of my entire career!" - Bob, after the audience was still on their feet, even after the first item was bid on

"I want to clear up a misunderstanding. I thought the audience was still standing for me, giving me a standing ovation. But I look back just now, and they're standing for that car... A standing ovation for the car. I guess this is just a standing ovation crowd!" - Bob, who has an audience that'd make Ms. "I hate sitters!" Madonna happy

"Now, Hilda, I have good news for you, and bad news for you. The good news is, you've been called to be a contestant down in Contestant's Row. The bad news is, you're up on stage. Get down there where you belong!" - Bob, on yet another contestant who doesn't know what "Come on down!" means

"With this attempt to get sympathy, I think Hilda thinks she's on 'Queen For A Day'. But this is The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Hilda said "I've been married for 63 years and I can't get on stage!" during the commercial break, then claimed she can't think straight from sleeping on the sidewalk since midnight to get in

"He does the game better than I do!" - Bob, after forgetting to gave Wayne one of the price tags for Race Game

"Now, John, is that secret X is there (the top), you win. If that secret X is there (the middle), you win. If that secret X is there (the bottom)... Well, you'll get to spin the big wheel at the end of the show!" - Bob, summing up the situation for John on Secret X

Marilyn: "I love you! I love you!"
Bob: "You'll love me more if you win this car!"
- Bob & Marilyn, while playing Ten Chances

"Been watching ever since he was a little boy, and he ends up on the wrong side of the wheel!" - Bob, after Oliver tried to walk over to the right side of the wheel to spin it

"And, Mom? She's been on television, right here, for the last hour!" - Bob, after Tessa (one of the first four called down) said hi to her mother before the final One-Bid

"Now, I would just like to point out to anyone who may be about to spin the big wheel that it might help to say something particularly nice to Bob!" - Bob, after Cyrus got $1.00, and who said Bob was the best dressed man on television before spinning

The Barkerism of the Week, though, is not just funny, but a public service announcement: Don't be an obnoxious neighbor!

"When the doors opened, I asked Ronald if he liked the prizes. He said 'Ohh, I like music and drinking!' I'm worried about his poor neighbors! How would you like to live next door to, or above, or below a drunk drummer?!" - Bob, on Ronald's reaction to playing for a bar set and a drum set

Thanks for another great season, Bob! And the best thing is, season 35 is just around the corner!

Barkerisms: All caught up edition

2006-06-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Whew.. The good news is I'm all caught up. The bad news is, there's only seven first-run episodes left in season 34...

Enjoy!

"Well, here you are.. I've been waiting for you for 19 years!" - Bob, after Rachel said she's waited 19 years to meet him

"You know, the way the audience is going oooohhh... And aaaahhhh... The viewers will never believe that's real, and not a tape!" - Bob, on the audience's reactions during Temptation

"During the last commercial break, this young man in the back of the audience held up this picture. People in the audience immediately assumed it was Errol Flynn. No, that was - is - a young Bob Barker. That picture was a promotional picture taken of me just before my very first episode of Truth Or Consequences back in 1956. I was so cute then!" - Bob, on that 50 year old photo of himself

"A jumping spin! Careful! You can lose your tooth that way!" - Bob, after Katherine did a jumping spin

"Ahd Michelle was sitting next to a young lady who announced she is not a group, which is also exciting!" - Bob, proving that everyone who comes to TPIR isn't part of a group!

"Everyone was looking back there, I thought I had Pamelas coming from every direction!" - Bob, after Pamela was called down

"Someone was talking about drinking during the last commercial, and obviously... No." - Bob, after Austin got mixed up while bidding

"Before I look at this, let me ask, are there any zeroes on the board?!" - Bob, after Austin went from $250 to $100 to $50 on his first three punches on Punchboard

"It's six nights. You can't stay down there during the day!" - Bob, after Casey asked how long the trip to Victoria, BC was

"During that commercial break, I was asked about how Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico became Truth Or Conseqeunces, New Mexico. It used to be Hot Spring, New Mexico until Ralph Edwards began a letter-writing campaign and got them to change it. Well, it occured to me that we should start a letter-writing campaign and get, say, Chicago, to change its name to The Price Is Right, Illinois! And Oprah, who is of course very famous, would then be taping her show from The Price Is Right!" - Bob, who thinks TPIR needs a city named after it

"Now, you understand, twelve hundred dollars wasn't her choice of bids, it was just easier to say!" - Bob, after Ruth had trouble saying her bid

"You know, normally I believe that kind of bid is good strategy, but doing that after all the trouble she had saying her bid was just downright mean!" - Bob, after Anthony $1-upped Ruth

"We had one woman who once played this same game. She won all five chips, and put all five chips into zero... She shot herself in the parking lot!" - Bob, after Jared won only $500 on Plinko, getting four zeroes

"Now, this is an interesting situation. If we don't get it all the way around, I'm disqualified, right?" - Bob, who helped Karen spin the wheel on her bonus spin

Bob: "Do you know this gentleman?"
Malba: "No. No!"
Bob: "You must know he. He got up and hit her in middle ofthe back! You know her, Robert? You do?"
Malba: "He watches you more than I do. I have to work to support him!"
- Bob and Malba, after Robert (Malba's husband) got up and playfully hit her in the back

"Nicholas, I saw that! That page is taking her job too seriously! Nicholas was coming right up on stage, and she tripped him! An attorney will be calling her for him!" - Bob, after Nicholas tripped on the steps while trying to come right up on stage after being called on down

"Here you came all the way from Sparta, Tennessee, to be booed on The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Joan didn't get the wheel all the way around

"Ohh, so close! And you worked so hard, too!" - Bob, after Joan just missed a dollar, and didn't get enough to move onto the Showcases

"Don't listen to your daughter, listen to somebody else!" - Bob, after Rita after struggled on Ten Chances

"I get the feeling they're going to start throwing things at Rita in a second!" - Bob, on the audience's frustration

But this week's Barkerism Of The Week must make John Glenn happy - he now knows his record is safe!

"'Space Coast of Florida loves Bob Barker!' Well, I'm happy... 'Bob Barker on the next space...' No, no, thank you! That's all right! I'm too old for that!" - Bob, commenting on Shayan's T-Shirt

Barkerisms - almost there edition

2006-06-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, June 5-9 (aka Recovery Week) was yet another slow week for Barkerisms. I don't know if they're feeling rushed, but Bob hasn't been quite himself the last couple of weeks.. Let's hope he bounces back to form.

Just to let everyone know, the Barkerisms from the following week will go up in a day or two. However, the week of the 19-23 will be a few days late. No, I'm not planning to slack off again - after that week, there will only be two more new episodes before summer break begins. Since there's no point in adding a final post with only two shows worth, I'll just post them at the same time as the 19-23 shows...

Enjoy.

"Now audience, I think you will agree me with that this is getting boring, isn't it?!" - Bob, after all four contestants overbid twice

"Oh, thank goodness, thank goodness!" - Bob, after not hearing any buzzers after the third round of bids

"But it's not just a vacuum, it's a lavender vacuum. Isn't that exciting?!" - Bob, on the vacuum offered in Temptation

"You see that? She threw a pretty good right there!" - Bob, after Leann took a swing at Kevin after he $1-upped her

"You know, I had thought you said $83. If you had, you probably would've won. Can we edit that out? No, the other people will probably complain!" - Bob, after everyone overbid

"Enjoy your new car... And I hope your husband enjoys your old one!" - Bob, as Nellena left the stage

"I certainly didn't imply that you had been drinking!" - Bob, after Donna stumbled coming up the stairs and swore she wasn't drunk

"Now, they've been down in Contestant's Row since the show started. Notice when they first started out, they just bid. Then as the show went on, they bid slower and slower. And now they're turning to the audience, as if to say 'I need help!'" - Bob, on Jacob and Sandra's show-long bidding patterns

"He says he saw me do a Miss Universe pagaent there, around 1898!" - Bob, after Francis said he saw him do a Miss Universe pagaent in the Philippines many years ago

Finally, we close this week with some concerns about faithful marriages from Dr. Bob:

"He's going to his bachelor party? Well, he may never come back when he hears about this!" - Bob on Amanda's "Will you marry me Bob?" shirt

Barkerisms: Oh what a night! edition

2006-06-03T01:07:00.000-07:00

Here's week #3 of the late Barkerisms - and the ones from a week I'll never forget... Well, more like a night I'll never forget! Quite frankly, I'm still somewhat in shock at seeing both Bob Barker AND the Material Girl within a little over six months. How do you top that?!

Well, I can't do that here, but I'll at least give you something to laugh at!

"I'm afraid to ask her where she put that. I was looking over here and you all acted in such a way that I think I know where it is!" - Bob, after Ida took her $500 bonus and stuffed it in her bra

"I'm going to suggest our contestants take their shoes off to play these games!" - Bob, after Darren removed his shoes before playing Eazy Az 1-2-3 - and won (gee, so you suggest I take these off?)

"That little please at the end helped!" - Bob, after Evan asked if he had at least two numbers right in One Away

"You should never wear shoes again!" - Bob, after Darren won his showcase - with his shoes off once again!

"And now that you're thoroughly confused, step over here and flip, or flop, or flip flop!" - Bob, after explaining the rules to Flip Flop

"Now, Dean, we have been doing this show for... Well, we're wrapping up our 34th year. And you're only the second contestant to run the wrong way!" - Bob, after Dean had no idea where to go after being called on down

"Get anything besides 60 cents, please!" - Bob, to Bettysue, after she tied Albertsain twice already in the Showcase Showdown

"Now, Brandon, I want to help you out a little bit here. It is not necessary, because this is a race against time. You don't need to say Bob everytime! I appreciate that. In the Air Force, he has learned to say 'Forty four, sir!', 'Thirty three, sir!' And instead of sir now it's Bob, Bob, Bob! And it's costing him time. It's probably cost him four seconds!" - Bob, after Brandon concluded every guess with "Bob" while playing Clock Game

"Depends on how well you know the people, I guess!" - Bob, after he and Lana tried to figure out how many people could fit into the hot tub she was playing for

"Let's see.. That 9... 12... Well, it's a lot of money!" - Bob, thinking twice about wanting to add up the total of the four prizes being offered in Race Game

"They're on their feet applauding you! I should have you here more often!" - Bob, in response to Mareia's standing ovation

"Get back over here. I have an eager one here, don't I?" - Bob, after Kristen tried to start playing Bonkers before Bob told her to go

But this week's Barkerism Of The Week should finally show people that if you don't get picked, don't blame Bob!

"Rich, just before we went back on the air, I heard a little voice up here say 'Call my name, Bob!' I don't call the names around here. I can't help you! I can't help you!" - Bob, after Marie pleaded with him to pick her

And yet more to come in the next few days!

Barkerisms - Still catching up edition

2006-05-27T05:13:00.000-07:00

Here's the second of four weeks to catch up on... I'm getting there, and should be caught up by the weekend... Enjoy!

"Will you hold that for me? Hold it near me. I like to have it near me so if I miss the putt, I can make an excuse immediately!"... Of course, who needs excuses when you've now hit FOUR straight putts, Bob?

"Now, we don't want you to get the impression we don't spend millions on props for this show!" - Bob, after one of the slots on Switcheroo broke while it was played

"Incidentally, the mop works, but you see, the bottom had fallen out of that..." - Bob, after Blake won the mop (which was the slot that broke on Switcheroo)

Bob: "Ronald, I assume since it was your idea to come to the show, that if you win, you'll be in control of that $10,000?"
Ronald: "Not quite..."
Bob: "Well, I was trying to work it out for you!"
- Bob, trying his hand at being a financial advisor

"And afer 28 years with Phyllis, he knows she's going to help spend the $10,000!" - Bob, knowing how well wives can spend money

"Now John, he's worried. He says 'I already invited my brother to be best man, and I'm afraid he's going to be mad, blah blah blah...' Don't try to kiss it up with your brother. It's too late for that!" - Bob, on John's "I want Bob to be my best man!" T-Shirt

Bob: "That's fine. If he gets a green section in a bonus spin, we'll give him $5! Now, Jody, what do you get if you get a green section in a bonus spin?"
Jody: "$5,000."
Bob: "That's right. We'll give you $5,000! Now, William, get over there and try to win $5!"
- Bob, teasing William after he thought you only get $5 in your bonus spin for hitting a green section

"I can tell by the looks on their faces that they have no idea what group they are with?" - Bob, on Marcia's group

"I believe it's normal. She's alright!" - Bob, on Marcia's confusion

"Now, when you put your arm around me, you showed me you are surprisingly strong. Now, before I show you your prize, promise you will not do me bodily harm! You stand right here, and I step back. Maybe a bit further back.. Right about here.." - Bob, clearly scared of Linda

"I have been told on The Price Is Right that the $1 bid is mean... But the $2 bid is the meanest!". Actually, bidding $1 when you're not the last bidder is just plain dumb, and asking for someone to bid $2!

"He bid as if he was buying that, didn't he?" - Bob, on Nathan's slow, hesitant bid of $672

"You know, this woman is making this a very difficult game. It's so simple!" - Bob, after Jann couldn't make up her mind playing Barker's Markers

"How did we get you up on stage when you don't have it on your shirt?" - Bob, referring to Jann's shirt, which said Bakersfield, when the rest of her group had Barkersfield on their shirts

Thanks for more amusement, Bob... But this week, we have two Barkerisms Of The Week - as these are just too good to choose one over the over!

Bob: "Anthony, what do you bid? What do you bid?!"
Anthony: "What is the highest bid? Sorry, Bob."
Bob: "Can you understand why I drink at night?! Can you imagine going through this day after day?! One Anthony after another!"
- Bob, frustrated that Anthony wasn't paying any attention at all

"I've been offered an oppotunity to be Prime Minister of Canada. We have a group of Canadians here who have invited me to come with them. I try to be humble, but I've decided to accept their offer! I'll go! And whatever problems you have up there, I promise to make them worse!" - Bob, admitting he's no politician

Barkerisms: Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Edition

2006-05-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

I am slowly getting caught up on these. Obviously, the last few weeks have been hectic, but here is the first of the four overdue weeks worth...

The rest will be posted later this week.

The Tuesday episode from this week was the taping I attended in early May, so I'll be throwing in a few in-studio Barkerisms as well.

Enjoy, and there's more coming very soon!

"Court, you are taking much too close a look at that prize!" - Bob, after Court examined the necklace that Gabrielle was modeling

"I am so glad that Andrew won his way out of Contestant's Row so quickly, because that leaves me with Jana, Joel and Jill. And, Rich? You undoubtedly have another contestant for me whose name also begins with J?!" - Bob, on the 3 J's (which did become 4 J's when Julie was called down)

"I still haven't looked yet. I'm excited, aren't you? I still haven't looked. I'm getting eager. Are you eager!?" - Bob teasing Jana before revealing the last card in Spelling Bee

Bob: "Bryan, you got up rather hesitantly. Why?"
Bryan: "My last name is Bee-tie, so I wasn't sure..."
Bob: "What did you say?"
Rich: "I said Bay-tee, but you're right. I'm sorry."
Bob: "What do you mean he's right? Of course, it's his name! Of course he knows his name!"
Rich: "Yes, sir, he does. You're right."
Bob: "There's no argument about that, you know!"
Rich: "You're both right."
- Bob, Bryan and Rich, after Rich mispronounced Bryan's last name

"They're not even married yet, and already she's the boss!" - Bob, Bryan said he was listening to his fiancee Jennifer's advice

Bob: "Who's going to control the money in your family after you and Jennifer are married?"
Bryan: "Well, you know it's not me!"

"Try one more, let's see if she can ever hit one! There it is! Let's hear it for Gabi! Now I'm going to turn my head, please stop!" - Bob, on Gabi's problems hitting the tennis balls during the demonstration

Bertha: "Is it a tennis racket or what? What are we bidding on?"
Bob: "I'm going to my dressing room! What are we bidding on?! Didn't you see those tennis balls flying across the stage? You're bidding on that machine!"
- Bob, after Bertha had no idea what she was bidding on

Bob: "Don't try to kiss it up now! I was talking with Bertha here..."
Bertha: "I think we're about the same age!"
Bob: "How old are you?"
Bertha: "84."
Bob: "84? You're older than I am, Bertha! By two years..."
Bertha: "Just another month until I'm 85..."
Bob: "I won't be 83 until next December, so I'm a lot younger than you, Bertha!"
- Bob, obviously not wanting an older woman!

"Now, I have had contestants give an unnerving look, or even a punch... She assault him right now! And we have it all on top! Charges are pending!" - Bob, after Melissa shoved Thomas around after he $1-upped her

"People may think he came up so quickly because he was excited. No, he was afraid of Melissa!" - Bob, after Thomas won his way up on stage

"I was practicing his name during the commercial break... Maxentius. And he thought I was calling him up. You stay down there where you belong... Max!" - Bob, on Maxentius' confusion

"This is the second physical fight we've had in Contestant's Row!" - Bob, after Maxentrius play-fought with Michael after he $1-upped him

"Catherine, if you hadn't have stopped him, I would've just let him go on and play a pricing game!" - Bob, after Catherine grabbed Darold to keep him from walking right up on stage after he was called

Bob: "I was talking to the audience during that commercial break. I don't believe I've ever had an audience where so many women were desperate to be kissed!"
Rich: "You've got that right, Bob!"
Bob: "I don't know.. I don't know.. Some of you must have husbands or boyfriends with you. Guys, you need to kiss more often!"
- Bob, on all the ladies wanting a kiss

"Lorilei is complaining 'I can't hear! I can't hear!' What makes you think you're any different? You're no different than anyone else. Nobody can hear at The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Lorilei complained about the loud audience

"Lori is from Alaska, and can't you just picture her whipping around Alaska in that Mustang, with the top down, in December?!" - Bob, upon Lori having a chance to win a Mustang convertable

"On her shirt, it says 'Bob's Aging Beauty'. After meeting Lorilei, she feels even older!" - Bob, after Lorilei picked Barbara up and bearhugged her after she got picked

"Now, just a minute. I want to hear this. I'm going to repeat this. I want you to know what I go through up here day after day. I said to Barbara 'What do you bid?' Barbara bid $450. I turned to Lorilei and asked 'What do you bid?', and she asked 'What is the highest bid?' Is it any wonder that my hair is grey?! The highest bid is $450 - it's the only bid!" - Bob, frustrated with yet another contestant who didn't pay attention

And the fun from Studio 33 itself:

"Has everyone been drinking today? I hope so, because the entire staff is drunk!" - Rich, on the day's wild audience

"Cross his name off. Don't pick him!" - Rich, after someone said something Rich didn't find too funny

Rich: "I attended my first taping of The Price Is Right right after I turned 18, back in 1979, which was 27 years ago. You can all do the math..."
Madge: "22!"
Rich: "I appreciate that! What's your name? Find her name on the list, make sure she gets picked!"
- Rich, after someone we all know and love told him he's younger than he really is

Bob: "You're from a group of seniors that came from Wyoming? How old do you have to be to join?"
Woman from group: "55."
Bob: "55?! When I was 55, the last thing I was thinking about was retiring! You know, I'm too old to be a senior anymore. Now I'm a super, super senior. Back when I was a senior, I didn't want to join. Now that I'm ready to join, I can't because I'm not a senior anymore!"
- Bob, on the group of seniors from Wyoming

Bob: "Are there any other groups here?"
Woman in audience: "Us!"
Bob: "You're a girl, not a group!"
Woman: "No, I'm here with my friends..."
Bob: "How many are there in your 'group'?"
Woman: "Five."
Bob: "That's not a group! You need six to be a group!"
- Bob, on a woman and four of her friends

"So, how many are in your group? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... 7. Seven. That's not a group, you need eight to be a group!" - Bob, on some guy and six of his friends

"Get up, make another bad bid, sit down already... Ohhhhh... She didn't find that amusing!" - Bob, after Jana didn't find his comment too amusing

Some people, though, don't know the difference between questions and commands...

Bob: "Anyone got any questions?"
Woman in audience: "Can I get a kiss?"
Bob: "Can't you see I'm busy up here?! If I let you get a smooch, I have to let everyone else come down and get a kiss! Any other questions?"
Another woman in audience: "Can I get a hug?"
Bob: "Didn't I just say I was busy? Weren't you paying attention? Any other questions?"
Man in audience: "Can I get your autograph?"
Bob: "These aren't questions, these are commands!"

Madge: "Bob, I was at a taping in January, and someone complimented your pants."
Bob: "My pants?"
Madge: "Yeah, your pants. After he complimented them, you asked us what we bid on them..."
Bob: "Bid on my pants?"
Madge: "Yep, bid on your pants. Now, the readers of my website want to know.... What is the actual retail price of your pants?!"
Bob: "You want to know the price of my pants?!"
Madge: "Yes. My readers want to know!"
Bob: "Uhhhhh...."
Rich: "They're priceless!"
Bob: "Yes, he's absolutely right. They're priceless!"
- Bob and Rich, after yours truly asked Bob the actual retail price of his pants - the pants YOU keep bidding on!

"I must have a bunch of losers here! We've had three pricing games, and we've lost all three. People don't want to hear me say 'Awwww, I'm sorry', they want to hear me say 'You've won a new car!' Now, let's get it together in the second half, and break even!" - Bob, after the first three pricing games were lost.

Male in audience: "What's your favorite game?"
Bob: "Favorite pricing game?"
Male: "Yeah, you have a favorite?"
Bob: "Well, I like many of them. Plinko is obviously very popular. But I like Hole In One... when I'm actually making putts!"
Idiot male in audience (Mike): "Alright, Bob! Nice... and easy!"

"You know, they wanted me to do Happy Gilmore 2, but Adam Sandler's doctor told him he couldn't take another beating like that!" - Bob, on his movie career

Side-splittingly funny, as usual. But once again, this week's Barkerism Of The Week comes from inside the studio and never hit the air, unfortunately:

Jill (in Contestant's Row): "Bob, have you ever considered giving away pets to the people who get called down who don't win anything?"
Bob: "You want a pet?"
Jill: "Yeah, you know, at least we'd get to win a pet..."
Bob (half-sarcastically and half-teasingly): "I'LL GIVE YOU A PET!"

Barkerisms: He's back/overdue/21 days to go

2006-05-13T05:38:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's a mouthful, but it's only fitting considering there's nearly three weeks worth of Barkerisms coming.

Yes, I'm badly overdue, between occasionally stretches of being insanely busy, the occasional bout of laziness, and other assorted fun.

Yes, Bob is back! He seems to be moving around pretty good despite his recent foot injury, and the layoff has done nothing to his sense of humor.

We are, of course, down to 21 days and roughly 14 1/2 hours until the big concert. On one hand, I am as anxious as a kid counting the days until Christmas. On the other hand, it's only been 20 years of waiting already...

And, onto those pearls of wisdom and laughter from the World's Greatest MC himself:

"You're loose enough. You can handle this! Go!" - Bob, after Charise started stretching before spinning the big wheel

"Now, I want to assure you that the treadmill does not cause arthritis!" - Bob, after a treadmill was shown as an item up for bids - and came with a supply of arthritis cream

"Daniel, we're about to be signing off really soon. Daniel, I'm about to do my spay and neuter plug. Get with it!" - Bob, after Daniel took his own sweet time to bid on his Showcase

"My dog kept me up all night, so when I look over there, I only see three things!" - Bob, referring to the four small prizes offered on Punchboard

"Now, I'm just going to peek. Naw, I'm not going to show that. Oh, you want to see? Heh heh heh. She did the right thing!" - Bob, after Wilma quit with $1,000 - and had only $500 in the last hole she punched out

"And now you're going to get booed. Let's here it for her!" - Bob, after Suzanne's wimpy second spin

"How old do you need to be in Sun City? How old are you?"
"Well, I'm really 55."
"55. I could've been in Sun City 20 or 30 years ago!"
- Bob and George, on the senior's group that George is a member of

"Who takes cat litter on a picnic?!" - Bob, after picnic equipment was shown as an item up for bids, and came with a supply of cat litter

"I tell you, the way we're putting these products together today is rather amusing. First of all, we're taking kitty litter on a picnic! And now, we're giving away a motorcycle, and if you fall off, there's aspirin with it!" - Bob, on the motorcycle up for bids - which came with a supply of aspirin

"Feller who has been married for 30 years, he just gets up and steps right over his wife. But not Jose!" - Bob, after Jose (wearing a Honeymooning With Bob shirt) gave his wife a big kiss after he was picked

"Ohhh, I might faint!" - Bob, after Sean claimed to know how to play Check Game

"Just a moment, just a moment... I almost fainted too soon!" - Bob, after it became obvious that Sean wasn't too sure what he was doing

"There you are... A voided check is all you got on The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Sean lost

"I'll tell you one thing, I'm going to keep my eye on Nina for the whole show!" - Bob, after Dina thought she won her way up on stage and tried go up on stage

"You don't get back here, I'm going to go on without you!" - Bob, after Evelyn had no idea where to go

"Must be the atmospheric conditions!" - Bob, on the recent trend of contestant's spinning the big wheel, then running under the scoreboard like they've already won - even though the wheel is still spinning

"I'm going to start cutting their Achilles' tendons so they can't do that!" - Bob, after Robert also ran over the scoreboard while the wheel was still spinning

"And it's gotten to the point where I'm convinced there are kids there majoring in The Price Is Right!" - Bob, on the number of groups from University of California Santa Barbara to have attended tapings of TPIR

"I was so excited about the hug that I accidentally checked the wrong box!" - Bob, after accidentally checking "Win big" (instead of "Hug Bob") on Tammy's shirt after she got her hug

"That's a well adjusted family! That's a fine family!" - Bob, after Frances said that she makes her grandchildren watch The Price Is Right with her

"People aren't listening to me today!" - Bob, after Williard had to think about going higher than a 1 in Dice Game (there are no zeroes in Dice Game)

"Rachel? Rachel, I can't tell from here. Tell me, is there a picture of me there or not? There's not? I'm going to have a talk with the set decorator about this, I tell you!" - Bob, on not having a picture in any of the picture frames offered as a prize package

Unfortunately, we had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR contestants who didn't seem to know what "Come on down!" means:

Bob: "Hello Tyler. Tyler?"
Tyler: "Yes?"
Bob: "Where you from?"
Tyler: "Utah!"
Bob: "And you've watched The Price Is Right?"
Tyler: "Yes I have!"
Bob: "And you've heard people out there in the audience, and there name has been called to be on the show?"
Tyler: "Yeah!"
Bob: "And they jump up, and they come on down.. To where?"
Tyler: "Right here!"
Bob: "Right here... Have you ever seen anyone stop down there?"
Tyler: "Oh, yeah! I'm gonna go back!"
Bob: "That's where Tyler belongs!"
- Bob and Tyler, after Tyler decided to run right up on stage

Bob: "Now, Alberto. It's a pleasure to have you here at The Price Is Right! And I'm just trying to push you forward. The light's better here. I don't care about you, but I want to look as good as I can! Now, Alberto, are you having fun at The Price Is Right?"
Alberto: "I'm having a lot of fun!"
Bob: "Great. And are you excited about being up on stage?"
Alberto: "I'm really overwhelmed!"
Bob: "You're really overwhelmed... These three are really overwhelmed that you're up here, too... Carol, is there anything you'd like to say to Alberto?"
Carol: "Just keep up the great spirit, Alberto! You're just awesome!"
Bob: "Katherine, is there anyone you'd like to say to him?"
Katherine: "You have great moves, Alberto!"
Bob: "Anything you'd like to say, Anastasia?"
Anastasia: "Alberto, watch out! I'm going to beat you!"
Bob: "It's not working, I'm just going to have to tell him..."
Rich: "Tell him, Bob!"
Bob: "Alberto, you're going to have to get down there and start down there!"
- Bob, after yet another contestant got picked and ran right up on stage

"Hello, Patsy. Hello, Patsy. Here you go, right down those steps, Patsy. Go around. There you go. Welcome to Contestant's Row!" - Bob, after Patsy came right up on stage

Bob: "Hello, Martha. It's a pleasure to see you!"
Martha: "I can't believe it!"
Bob: "Turn around, so everyone can see you. You watch the show a lot?"
Martha: "As much as I can!"
Bob: "But you have seen it?"
Martha: "Many times!"
Bob: "I say to Rich 'Who is our next player?', and Rich says 'Martha Calloway, come on down!', or 'Joan Smith, come on down!', and they come running down the aisle. And where do they go?"
Martha: "They come up on stage!"
Bob: "They come right up on stage?"
Martha: "Yeah, to be with Bob Barker!"
Bob: "I wonder why those three stopped down there?"
Martha: "They're gonna bid and probably won a lot of money!"
Bob: "Now wait a minute, she has an answer... Now why do you supposed they stopped?"
Martha: "They're contestantants!"
Bob: "They're contestantants.. And what are you?"
Martha: "I'm a contestant!"
Bob: "Yes. So why are they down here and you're up here?"
Martha: "I'm coming on down..."
Bob: "What? You tell her, Jeffrey!"
Jeffrey: "Come on down!"
Bob: "Yes, they want you down there. Get down there!"
- Bob and Martha, after yet another contestant didn't seem to understand what "Come On Down!" means

And considering this is more or less three weeks worth of Barkerisms, why not name three Barkerisms Of The Week(s)?

"And with this kayak comes a supply of drain opener!" - Rich, on that item up for bids
"If you have leaky boat, and you want to open it up..." - Bob, on the drain opener

"Now, Lucia, I have been doing this long enough to know a dangerous person when I meet one... You are the type who would do me bodily harm! I want security standing by, please! You lay one hand on me, and they're going to break your legs! Okay? Alright..." - Bob, after Lucia got called down

"Wait a minute, this is Price Is Right history. First contestant who ever bid Kingston, Arizona!" - Bob, after Lucy confused "What do you bid?" with "Where do you live?"
"No, I asked where do you live?!" - Bob, after Lucy bid

Let's hear it for the funniest man on television!

And the actual retail price... of Bob Barker's pants... is....

2006-05-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm back from yet more fun and insanity from the Bob Barker Studio. No luck yet again winning the "Come on down!" lottery, but it was still an absolute blast...

We showed up in line at 3:30 am on Wednesday morning, and this time got far better seats than the January taping (#15 and #16). Of course, I just had to snag Mike's order of arrival number when I saw he got #15 - as Dale Earnhardt drove the #15 car in 1982 and 1983. :P

While there was no TS group this time around, and not quite as much morning/early afternoon insanity before getting into the studio, it was still a blast. Quite a few fun people to chat with and hang out with, and the day went by much quicker than you'd imagine 11 hours going by.

Of course, we got the usual assortment of "pick me" shirts - some of which were cute, some were not quite so cute. But, it's to be expected - and some day, I may even show up with my own "pick me" (protest) shirt: "Pick me - I know how to play Check Game!"

Among some of the other fun in line/while waiting:

Seeing a group of people that had been out in line since the previous night, who had brought sleeping bags and were sound asleep at 3:30 am (and in fact slept until about 5:45).

Watching a squirrel sneak around in the plants, nibbling on (and occasionally burying) corn nuts. I, of course, just had to make the wisecrack about whether the squirrel was spayed or neutered!

Having someone bum a cigarette off me, then be quite amused by the length of it. I hope they are grateful that I only smoke 120's, and they don't make 164's anymore...

This also marked the first time I got breakfast while in line, as a couple of ladies in line had brought plenty of food, and didn't want to drag it back to their room, so they just started passing out breakfast. That was very nice of them, a shame one of them couldn't have been picked.

Rich seems to be getting more and more comfortable with his job as announcer - not only more willing to get laughs out of us, but when he called six people up on stage to be "The Price Is Right dancers" for the day, he picked TWO men from a group of seniors from Wyoming!

Not only did we get our usual share of Barkerisms (and I'll share the ones we heard during the commercial breaks), but even a couple of Richisms...

Rich: "Has everyone been drinking today? I hope so, because the entire staff is drunk!"

(After an audience member said something that Rich didn't find amusing)
Rich: "Cross his name off. Don't pick him!"

But, of course, everyone's favorite smart-alleck Material Girl had to strike yet again...

Rich: "I attended my first taping of The Price Is Right right after I turned 18, back in 1979, which was 27 years ago. You can all do the math..."
Madge: "22!"
Rich: "I appreciate that! What's your name? Find her name on the list, make sure she gets picked!"

But, there's no party like a Bob Barker party, and a Bob Barker party don't stop - so the fun really began when the man walked through door #2 (and was greeted by those same two idiots and their "We're not worthy!" routine)...

During the first commercial break, Bob was checking out the audience for the groups that showed up for the day:

Bob: "You're from a group of seniors that came from Wyoming? How old do you have to be to join?"
Woman from group: "55."
Bob: "55?! When I was 55, the last thing I was thinking about was retiring! You know, I'm too old to be a senior anymore. Now I'm a super, super senior. Back when I was a senior, I didn't want to join. Now that I'm ready to join, I can't because I'm not a senior anymore!"

Bob: "Are there any other groups here?"
Woman in audience: "Us!"
Bob: "You're a girl, not a group!"
Woman: "No, I'm here with my friends..."
Bob: "How many are there in your 'group'?"
Woman: "Five."
Bob: "That's not a group! You need six to be a group!"

But Bob wasn't done giving "groups" the business just yet, as another small pack of individuals decided to pass themselves off as a group...

Bob: "So, how many are in your group? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... 7. Seven. That's not a group, you need eight to be a group!"

One of the contestants wasn't quite so amused with Bob's sense of humor:

Bob: "Get up, make another bad bid, sit down already... Ohhhhh... She didn't find that amusing!"

And during the second commercial break, Bob learned the hard way that some people don't quite know what questions are....

Bob: "Anyone got any questions?"
Woman in audience: "Can I get a kiss?"
Bob: "Can't you see I'm busy up here?! If I let you get a smooch, I have to let everyone else come down and get a kiss! Any other questions?"
Another woman in audience: "Can I get a hug?"
Bob: "Didn't I just say I was busy? Weren't you paying attention? Any other questions?"
Man in audience: "Can I get your autograph?"
Bob: "These aren't questions, these are commands!"

And during the third commercial break, Bob got a question so unusual I'm not sure he could come up with a witty response for it....

Crazy female fan: "Bob, I was at a taping in January, and someone complimented your pants."
Bob: "My pants?"
Crazy female fan: "Yeah, your pants. After he complimented them, you asked us what we bid on them..."
Bob: "Bid on my pants?"
Crazy female fan: "Yep, bid on your pants. Now, the readers of my website want to know.... What is the actual retail price of your pants?!"
Bob: "You want to know the price of my pants?!"
Crazy female fan: "Yes. My readers want to know!"
Bob: "Uhhhhh...."
Rich: "They're priceless!"
Bob: "Yes, he's absolutely right. They're priceless!"

You may hate me, you may love me, but never let it be said that the Material Girl doesn't go the extra mile for her fans! I tried, boys and girls. I tried to find out the actual retail price of Bob's pants.. But, I guess they are indeed priceless.

Then again, is anyone surprised? These are Bob Barker's fucking pants, after all. They turn people into timeless legends and makes them the World's Greatest Master of Ceremonies. No other pants could EVER do that!

So, if anyone ever asks you if you know the actual retail price of Bob's pants, they're priceless. And without Maddy, you would've never known that!

After the third pricing game....

Bob: "I must have a bunch of losers here! We've had three pricing games, and we've lost all three. People don't want to hear me say 'Awwww, I'm sorry', they want to hear me say 'You've won a new car!' Now, let's get it together in the second half, and break even!"

Shortly after that, Bob delivers with a serious candidate for Barkerism Of The Year.. Hell, maybe even the decade!

Female contestant in Contestant's Row: "Bob, have you ever considered giving away pets to the people who get called down who don't win anything?"
Bob: "You want a pet?"
Contestant: "Yeah, you know, at least we'd get to win a pet..."
Bob (half-sarcastically and half-teasingly): "I'LL GIVE YOU A PET!"

Bob was also asked what his favorite pricing game, and he answered like a true golfer...

Male in audience: "What's your favorite game?"
Bob: "Favorite pricing game?"
Male: "Yeah, you have a favorite?"
Bob: "Well, I like many of them. Plinko is obviously very popular. But I like Hole In One... when I'm actually making putts!"
Idiot male in audience: "Alright, Bob! Nice... and easy!"

While we didn't get to hear THE line, it would not be The Price Is Right without a Happy Gilmore reference, and Bob struck once again just before the second Showcase Showdown:

Bob: "You know, they wanted me to do Happy Gilmore 2, but Adam Sandler's doctor told him he couldn't take another beating like that!"

All in all, a fun show. Draining, but fun. It's like running a marathon, where the last two miles turns into an all-out sprint. But I enjoyed every second of it yet again, and I'm looking forward to August.

And, maybe this time, I'll really go out of my way to grab their attention with that Check Game shirt and a pair of boots!

Brief update

2006-05-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm late on last week's Barkerisms. I've been insanely busy the last few days, between getting the first of the month shit taken care of, spring cleaning, and various other fun activities *cough*.

I will get them posted in the next few days, along with more fun from The Happiest Place On Earth. No, Madge is not going to Disneyland - the MG is about to take another trip to LA and GSM to see BB and TPIRB yet again.

(Or, for those who aren't up on acronyms, Maddy is off to attend another taping of The Price Is Right on Wednesday.)

This should be a blast. I need a vacation. And an hour with Bob is always good, clean, campy fun - especially if he says that line from Happy Gilmore!

And, yes, I intend to ask him the actual retail price of his pants!

Fortunately, he didn't appear to be limping at all during last week's episodes (which were the first ones taped since his foot injury). He looks to be feeling quite well, thank goodness!

So, I'll be back in a few days to share more fun stories from Studio 33 (or as it's now known, the Bob Barker Studio)! Because, after all, the price is always right, bitch!

Barkerisms: He's about ready to return edition

2006-04-17T07:08:00.000-07:00

These are quite late, I know, since there are from the April 3-7 episodes. I have been incredibly busy at times the last week or so, and there hasn't been any major pressure to get these up, considering that not only was last week reruns, but this week coming up will also be reruns...

Update on Bob: His exact injury was a torn tendon in his foot. The doctor told him it basically "blew out" after 82 years of wear and tear. Because of the shape the tendon was in, the doctors elected not to surgically repair it, so he literally will spend the rest of his life with a broken tendon in his foot.

He will return to work tomorrow, however for the short-term, they will only tape one episode on Mondays instead of the usual two...

All I can say is he is one tough old man.

And, now onto the Barkerism from the first week of April:

"And Tyson is attending Drury University, from where I graduated... in the year 1912!" - Bob, who somehow graduated college 11 years before he was born!

"On his shirt it says 'I survived World War II to be on The Price Is Right'! Another phony, here we have! You may have been in World War II, but there was no Price Is Right at that time!" - Bob, on Charles' T-Shirt

"I think I have a rather important announcement to make. I've decided to leave The Price Is Right. I'm going to Canada, where I've been invited to become the Prime Minister of Canada! Those four fellows up there in red shirts are men of great influence up there, and they're going to make me the Prime Minister!" - Bob, on his new career (and giving me quite a scare!)

"Jonathan, I am appalled at your lack of emotion!" - Bob, when Jonathan went nuts after he was called down

"Ladies and gentlemen, I like to point out historic moments on The Price Is Right, and Jonathan is one of them. Leave it alone! Don't touch it! No, Jonathan's pants aren't unzipped - they're splitting from the bottom up! Let's just proceed like there is nothing wrong with Jonathan's pants!" - Bob, on Jonathan's wardrobe malfunction

"Hold on. Did we imply there are fleas in the sofas that we give away? We need to be careful about that!" - Bob, after Rich described a sofa that was up for bids, then told the contestants that they'd win a supply of flea and tick control for dogs if they won the sofa

"That is a great way for him to start his first term, isn't it?!" - Bob, after Nathaniel (who wants to become president someday) got his first guess right (for the jewelry box) on Ten Chances

"Audience, I suggest we impeach him! What do you think?" - Bob, after Nathaniel began to struggle on the karaoke machine in Ten Chances

"Let's hear it for the president, here!" - Bob, after Nathaniel didn't get the wheel all the way around

"This is not your day, you know. You're going to break something before you're through here!" - Bob, after Anne sent the Sectet X board sliding

"Carefully put this on here. Don't hurt yourself!" - Bob, urging Anne to proceed with caution

"I know you are anxious to win money, but in your case, please don't hurt yourself! Just be careful!" - Bob, before Anne spun the big wheel

"Here come the Razorbacks of Arkansas University! And here goes Bob Barker to save his life!" - Bob, while getting out of the way of Nathaniel's group, who rushed the turntable after he won his Showcase

"During this last commercial break, Christine here was telling us how this group from Williams College was smarter than this group from Cal Poly. I dare say she would probably like to apologize now!" - Bob, after Christine won only $1,000 in It's In The Bag, getting the last four items wrong (she quit at $1,000)

Thanks to the fact Bob was really on that week, I don't have one, or two, but THREE Barkerisms of the Week for this week! All three of them are absolutely hilarious...

Bob: "Well, I'm sure that Standards And Practices at CBS would want me to explain there has been a deception today on The Price Is Right. I am appalled to find out that Tyson lives in San Jose! He's with a group of people who are visiting from Missouri - not necessarily Springfield, the home of Drury College! And none of them is, or has, attended Drury! Now, having explained... I beg your pardon?"
Tyson: "According to them, their grandmother once went on a double-date with you back in high school."
Bob: "What was their grandmother's name?"
Woman in audience: "Elizabeth Smith!"
Bob: "Elizabeth Smith? Ooooohhhhhh.... yeah."
- Bob and Tyson on Tyson's deception

Bob: "Yeah, Alex is blaming me! He says 'Come on Bob! Come on Bob! I want up there, Bob!' It's not my fault!"
Alex: "Come on, Bob! Come on, Bob!"
Bob: "You have no one to blame but yourself, Alex! You're at an age where you must learn to accept responsibility!"
*audience boos*
Bob: "And you too!"
- Bob, after Alex tried to blame Bob for his bad bidding and inability to win his way up on stage

"I have an observation to make, please listen.. Isn't it typical of our president, they start spending money the moment they get in office! We're over budget already!" - Bob, after Nathaniel guessed $78,901... FOR A FORD FOCUS!

We'll have new Barkerisms in a couple of weeks, once new episodes start airing. Meanwhile, it's off to look into restoring that amplifier of mine...

Barkerisms: Get well soon, Bob edition

2006-04-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, there will be no new tapings of The Price Is Right for at least a week, and possibly longer... Bob Barker is currently undergoing treatment for a torn ligament in his foot. He tried to gut it out during last week's taping (those episodes will air at the end of April), and was obviously in a great deal of pain.

I do hope he makes a full and speedy recovery.

Last week's Barkerisms:

"She's much younger than I, she's nearer James than I, and she couldn't hear James! It reassures me that we do have a little noise in here occasionally!" - Bob, after Stacy asked what James bid

"And now, when she gets all the way to California, she gets up close and discovers he's just a wrinkled old man!" - Bob, on Stacy's shirt (which said she'd come all the way from New Jersey to see how handsome Bob is)

"I just got word from the booth that my tie is not straight. Is it straight now? Yeah.. But now, I can't turn my head. I can only do this (Bob stands there, shuffling his feet and moving completely around, instead of turning his head or waist)!" - Bob, on his crooked tie

"You're playing Temptation on The Price Is Right, that's what you're doing!" - Bob, after Sonia nervously said she didn't know what she was doing

"I've always heard a woman has the right to change her mind!" - Bob, after Brittaney changed her bid from $3,000 to $1 (on the first bid of the show, no less!)

"Someone is trying to take my microphone away from me." - Bob, after Paul stepped on the microphone cable

"We have an audience filled with college students today! Look around here... I mean, they are all over the place! And I feel like Professor Barker up here. And the first question I ask of the class is, is that hair your own, Nicholas?! It's not. I can't believe it... Because if it was, I was going to give you a haircut!" - Bob, on Nicholas' afro wig

"You talk about a lack of attention in class!" - Bob, after Terri tried to bid $1,256 after Joanne had just bid that

"Win, lose or draw, that was the most popular bid of the day!" - Bob, after Lashawna bid $1 on the last item up for bids (after everyone overbid the first time)

"I really gave you a big promotion!" - Bob, after he mixed up Elizabeth's rank in the Navy

"Obviously, you don't have a good sense of direction, do you?" - Bob, after Linda started heading in the wrong direction while going up on stage

"Rich, I have Eric, I have Anthony, I have Adam. You want to go all men for the rest of the show?"
"Sure, why not? You want to do that?"
"No... It'll cause trouble!"
- Bob, trying to rile up the women once again

"You know, the way he does that, he'd make a great Barker's Beauty, I think!" - Bob, on Eric bowing and spinning around when he won his way up on stage

"I heard - they were just shouting advice to Blake on what to bid, and we don't even have the prize out yet! There may be some thing I don't understand, but I would believe that would be a disadvantage!" - Bob, after yet another contestant received advice during the commercial break on what to bid on a prize that hadn't been brought out yet!

"She's promising me, she's saying 'I'll be gentle! I'll be gentle!' She's seen me beaten up by contestants before!" - Bob, after Maryellen came up on stage

"Now, Maryellen, you got a little fancy with that one. You try again, and I'll stand right here!" - Bob, after Maryellen rolled a dice too hard, sending it flying to the floor. He then stood at the other end of the table, blocking the dice from going to the floor like a goalie!

"During that commercial, I found out that Blake is one of some very unusual young men. These young men rode bicycles from Texas to California, 1,200 miles! 400 miles a day for three days. Now they're going into rehab in the desert!" - Bob, on Blake and his "Kinsmen"'s Tour de Price

"Now, since he is one of the young men who ride a bicycle 1,200 miles from Texas to California, he desperately needs a car!" - Bob, when Blake got the chance to win a car on Line 'Em Up

While we don't want to see Bob injured by contestants, the Barkerism Of The Week does prove that Bob is quite amusing when he is scared. Picture Bob first trying to duck from Avonne, then hiding behind the prize displays, then behind a model as he says this:

"Avonne has won a car on The Price Is Right! Yes, you won a car! No, don't attack me! Don't touch me! Easy, Avonne, easy! Easy! Yes, you've won! Yes, you've won! You've won the car! Hold her! Keep her away from me! Yeah, you've won! Yeah, you did win! She won't believe me! Keep her out there, Rachel! Don't let her get me, Rachel!" - Bob, fearing for his life after Avonne won a car and went nuts

Barkerisms: New, but slightly late edition

2006-03-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

Here they are, Bob's pearls of wisdom and humor from last week's episodes. I know they are a bit late, thanks to having my hands full with a few things this week.

Enjoy!

Bob: "Hello, Margie! Yes, look at her! Marge, you came up those steps so beautifully!"
Margie: "Like a lady!"
Bob: "Yes, a perfect lady! How long have you watched this show? Now, Margie. See those three people? Why do you suppose they're down there?!"
Margie: "Well, they're young, that's why!"
Bob: "They're young?!"
Margie: "All the older people have to be on a platform!"
Bob: "I see. I am losing this argument, aren't I? Get off this stage! That's it. Get down there where you belong! Sometimes you have to quit being diplomatic, you've got to be strong!"
- Bob, after Margie decided "Come on down!" means "Come right up on stage!"

"All right! I just want to be comfortable, that's all!" - Bob, after the audience got impatient as he decided to straight out his suit and tie before revealing the last slip on Punch A Bunch

"He's forgotten what the prize was after that kiss!" - Bob, after Daryl got a kiss from Shane (one of the models) for luck, because he is on his way to Iraq (and here's hoping he makes it home in one piece)

"I hope this will not impair our relations with Canada..." - Bob, after Barbara lost Lucky Seven by $1

Bob: "Lillian, I bet you don't have a lot of model ships around."
Lillian: "I don't. I don't know anything about ships."
Bob: "I know. I haven't even looked at the price and I already know you know nothing about ships!"
- Bob, after Lillian bid $10 on a wooden model of the USS Constitution

Bob: "But, you're all right now."
Wilbert: "Yes, I am."
Bob: "But it's going to get worse, because you're standing next to Lillian!"
- Bob and Wilbert, after Bob got confused between One Bids when Wilbert removed his cap (not to mention Bob had originally misread Wilbert's nametag as "Walter")

"You know, on the golf course, the professionals, if you did that, they'd just have a conniption fit. They couldn't take it. But I love it! Go right ahead!" - Bob, on the "Bob! Bob! Bob!" chant from the audience during his inspiration putt - which he has made once again (now two in a row)

"Now, wait a minute. I'd like to just make a little suggestion... Don't hit it quite so hard this time!" - Bob, just before Nicole's second attempt, after he first putt was way, way too hard

"What year? It's a 1996!" - Bob, after Casey asked him what year the car was

"You should've seen David. He's standing there, signaling back and forth to his friends from Cal State Long Beach, on what he should bid! He's already got his bid ready on a prize he hasn't even seen yet. I think I'm going to go rest. This is too much!" - Bob, on David's sign language with his friends during the commercial break

"I don't think he saw it, did he? He didn't see it. I shut that thing back fast, didn't I? He didn't think the old man was that fast!" - Bob, after he accidentally revealed the price of the day bed early on Take Two

Either this week's Barkerism Of The Week proves that there is such a thing as being too honest, or that people should pay attention to the question before they answer!

Bob: "How long have you been confused, Lillian?"
Lillian: "Seventy one years."
Bob: "You know I've had the same problem for eighty two years!"
- Bob and Lillian, after she didn't know what group she was with

Barkerisms: March Madness/Tomarken Memorial edition

2006-03-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

Due to being a bit behind, as well as the fact I only saw three entire episodes last week (one wasn't aired at all due to coverage of the NCAA tournament, the other wasn't aired in it's entirety), and not to mention the fact these were episodes from last October, I decided to combine both week's worth of Barkerisms into one posts.

While they may be old, they're still quite funny... Enjoy!

"Wait a minute. This is supposed to be an exciting game! This is possibly our most popular game, and it's not because of zeroes!" - Bob, after Danielle dropped her first three chips into $0

"I'll get one right sooner or later!" - Bob, after he had problems hearing what the contestants were bidding

"I know, everyone kisses me on the right cheek... The left cheek is left out!" - Bob, after Kimberly kissed him on the left cheek

"Hello there, Ophir. Yes, congratulations, Ophir, now get off this stage! Get down there in Contestant's Row, Ophir! Don't try that business... You know, he sat back there and thought 'That old man won't notice... I'll just run up on stage and play a pricing game!'" - Bob, after Ophir tried to run right up on stage after being picked

"Now, Darryl, I want you to spin the big wheel - and don't break it!" - Bob, just before Darryl (6'4", 285) spun

"I asked her why Fred doesn't come along. She said he doesn't want to stand in line that long. See, it's true - people do stand in line a long time, sometimes as much as 20 or 30 minutes!" - Bob, after Janice explained why her husband hasn't come to the show, despite the fact he watches everyday

"I thought he was going to bid $3,950. I was going to say that poor boy had been out in the heat too long!" - Bob, after he misheard Walter's $950 bid for the sofa

"Oh! After that buildup, what a bummer!" - Bob, after Matthew drew a strike on his first turn on Three Strikes

"I refuse to go on after telling you there are no zeroes, and no numbers higher than six. You are obviously not majoring in mathematics!" - Bob, after Ian rolled a 1 in Dice Game, and said the number was lower

"Now, when you tell people about winning this car on The Price Is Right, I want you to remember to tell anyone with whom you talk that that old, grey-haired Barker is a nice man!" - Bob, after Ian won his Mustang

"Connie here is visiting us from Washington, DC, and in this game, you have to spend as much money as you can. And we all know that in Washington, DC, they know something about spending money, don't they?" - Bob, just before Connie played Shopping Spree

"I've never felt so useless! I never said a higher or a lower... She just whipped right through it." - Bob, Lauri went from $750 to $799 without waiting for Bob to say higher or lower in Clock Game

"Now, if you don't stop it, I'm going to have to hit you really hard!" - Bob, after Lauri went higher than $900 after Bob said lower, clearly not listening

"We've finally hit the bottom. The Bottom family is here!" - Bob, on the Bottom group in the audience

"Where can we go from there? Only up, meaning the Up group should be here next week!" - Bob, still having fun with the Bottoms

"With all these Bottoms, I end with a phony here! It's the story of my life!" - Bob, after Kyle Collins (part of the Bottom group) was called down. Kyle's grandmother's last name was Bottom, hence why he was with the group

"I bet he wants to take the $1,000 and quit!" - Bob, after Dustin rolled four cars in his first roll on Let 'Em Roll

"You know, with his standing above me, celebrating and waving this thing (the large cup for the dice) around, I felt I was in real danger. I got rid of him real quick!" - Bob, on Dustin's celebration after he won the car

"Audience, I don't know whether you helped this young man, or confused him!" - Bob, on the audience's conflicting advice to Benjamin during Clearance Sale

"I look down here in Contestant's Row. Theresa, Alesha and Barbara are looking intently at the prize. Jade is down here doing callestenics. Literally, doing callestenics. I think that's taking exercise too far!" - Bob, on the overly energetic Jade

"Well, thank you. Let's just forget the game and talk about me!" - Bob, after Barbara won her way up on stage and said Bob's better looking in person

"I'll tell you, we use old cameras and they make me look older than I already am!" - Bob, on why he "looks better in person"

"This may be the longest come on down in Price Is Right history! Mae, come on down! No, don't stop her! No embracing! This is only an hour show!" - Bob, on Mae's incredibly lengthy come on down

"She may not have won a prize, but she's developed a bicep!" - Bob, on Jade's musculars arms (and prior exercising on Contestant's Row)

"This Check Game has been on the show a good, long time!" - Bob, after Derrick said he didn't know how to play Check Game since he hadn't seen it for "a good, long time"

"How did you ever get into Penn State?" - Bob, after Derrick still had no idea how to play Check Game

"One thing he has learned while at Penn State, much to the dismay of his father, is how to write checks!" - Bob, after Derrick finished writing the check

"It's not an overbid!" - Bob, after the contestants managed to avoid an overbid after two straight

"I'm just going to sit down while she does her callestenics!" - Bob, after Elisabeth won her way up on stage and kept jumping around and screaming

"The interesting thing is he didn't look at his wife until he got done to the olive oil. He thought he knew the price of all of these. Now, if you're way off, blame your wife!" - Bob, after Lloyd said he had no idea about the prices, but then ignored his wife's advice on the first three items

"My man, you should've been listening to your wife clear back here, at the pain reliever!" - Bob, after Lloyd badly missed the first three items, then was right on the nose (with his wife's help) on the last two

The Barkerism Of The Week from "two weeks ago":

"You know, I just had a young mother stand up and thank me profusely for curing her baby's colic. He's not a baby anymore? They're 11 and 8? Both of them were cured of their colic by watching The Price Is Right. Now, the first thing I want to know is how I can make money curing babies!" - Dr. Bob, on finding out that he and TPIR can work medical wonders

And "last week's":

Bob: "And this pretty little Candace has added something new to The Price Is Right vocabulary! As you recall, she played Pick A Number, where all you do is choose one number and put it in the price, and hopefully you win. Well, she said 'You gave me a blonde game to play!'"
Candace: "Yeah, and I screwed it up!"
Bob: "Proving that you really are a blonde!"

New episodes - and new Barkerisms - will resume today. Woo hoo!

Barkerisms: Stand by, we're experiencing technical difficulties edition

2006-03-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

This last week has not been one that's been - as that Esther Madonna once said - "Something to Remember"... I spent the week getting more scatterbrained by the day, between a court hearing, a 12:30 am fire (the night before said court hearing, of course), having no phone service for 40 hours (thanks to said fire, of course), and problems getting ahold of my monthly check from my father (not related to any of the above, but obviously I had problems getting ahold of him because I HAD NO PHONE).

So, the end result was:

Accidentally taping over Tuesday's episode with a later episode of Deal Or No Deal (I was able to find Tuesday's episode online, which had been posted by members of golden-road.net for the viewers in New Orleans who didn't get TPIR)

NOT getting pricing game #3 from Wednesday's show (a big Three Strikes win) on tape, because they were working on the cable that morning (the cable service was also damaged from the fire). I had local channels, but no cable, but for about five minutes, I got left with a nice, blank picture.

Accidentally forgot to turn the TV from NBC to CBS on Thursday morning, hence taping whatever crap was on NBC that morning instead of Price (someone on the forum is going to get me that episode soon).

Fortunately, from what I do have, Bob was in his usual fine form last week. Unfortunately, I'd have more of Bob in his usual fine form if I wouldn't have spent the better part of the week running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

The next two weeks, we'll be getting reruns (boooo!). However, these episodes were from last October. As I likely haven't seen them, and Barkerisms haven't been posted from them, I will more than likely go ahead with business as usual with them. Why not? I need laughs. No laughs and no jokes make Maddy something something...

"I may faint. I don't ever remember a contestant saying it with that much confidence!" - Bob, after Jordan said she knows how to play Check Game

"She can't cash it. That saves us some money!"
"I can be Michelle Davis if I get a check! I don't mind. I can change my name!"
"Is it difficult to change a person's name? Can we get it done while we're on the air?"
"I look like a Michelle. I can pass for one."
"Do you like Jordan?"
"Yeah, I do."
"You can change it to Betty Lou if you want!"
"Would you like me to, Bob? I'll change it to whatever you want me to!"
- Bob and Jordan, after Bob noticed the check was made out to Michelle Davis, not Jordan Francis

"You step right back here. I want you to win. You have been a wonderful contestant, even though they don't know who you are. At least the person who wrote the check doesn't know who you are!" - Bob, having more fun with the blunder

"Now, not only does she have a voided check, but she has a check that belongs to Michelle Davis!" - Bob, after Jordan lost

"When I came up here, she said 'Bob, can I keep the check as a souvinier?' Of course you can! Just don't try to cash it, or you'll end up in jail!" - Bob, joining ol' Maddy in warning you about the dangers of identity theft

"In case our viewers are concerned, this is the Michelle that was on the check. She was another contestant. She just happened to be on the show, so we figured what the heck!" - Bob, just before Michelle spun the big wheel

"Amy didn't realize that she won. She had a look of disappointment on her face. But I straightened her out!" - Bob, after Amy didn't realize she'd won her way up on stage

"Stop! You're giving me a headache!" - Bob, after the audience chanted as-prin over and over, suggesting Amy take the aspirin in Grand Game

"John, I welcome you to Contestant's Row! And I tell you, this young man has something going for him. He's literally surrounded by pretty women!" - Bob, referring to the group John came with

"The actual... You know, there was a hysterical voice out there. There was a hysterical voice out here... '$1,200! $1,200!' What if the actual retail price is - I haven't looked - is $1,200? We've had that on the show before... Is it? Are you sure? Are you? Well, then we won't even look! Let's see. Uhh... No, I better look. Actual retail price... $1,299." - Bob, on an audience member who thought they knew the price

"Trent, let me straighten you out on one thing... You are not running for office here, you know! That's not the idea of this show!" - Bob, responding to Trent, who looked like he wanted to shake hands with everyone on the his way down to Contestant's Row

"Tell me, did you get her vote?" - Bob, after Trent trotted over and starting hugging Tova when she was called

"Trent is the winner, and now he has to say goodbye to everyone in Contestant's Row..." - Bob, as Trent (slowly) made his way up on stage

"I'm not going to try to figure it out.. He lost!" - Bob, after getting himself a bit confused on the math after Trent lost Balance Game

"That kid gets around pretty fast!" - Bob, after Scott got called, quickly ran up on stage to shake Bob's hand, then just as quickly went down to Contestant's Row

"Now, Maria, I have a prize for you, and I don't want you to hurt me when you see it!" - Bob, fearful of the very-excited Maria "tearing him from limb to limb"

"Wait, the game's over! What am I doing? I'm letting her go on.. The game's over! She gets one chance to do it. You had me hynotized here, you see!" - Bob, after getting mixed up during Shell Game

"Don't grab that $500, either!" - Bob, as Maria left the stage

"Daniel, being the gentleman that he is, thinks Gail should've won. But she was over by $1!" - Bob, after Daniel kept pointing toward Gail after their One Bid

"Yes, we were both born December 12. But you were born a few years after me!" - Bob, after Daniel showed him his passport (Daniel is exactly 63 years younger than Bob)

"Shirley. Being the curious old feller I am... What did that woman in the audience hand you as you were coming down?"
"My bracelet!"
"Why did she have your bracelet?!"
"It flew off!"
"Ohhh! You jumped up, and it flew off... I thought they were taking up a collection for you!"
- Bob, on Shirley's magic flying bracelet

"Bob, I love you!"
"I love you too! Wherefore art thou, Felisa?"
- Bob, on Felisa's love for him

"Now, let's just suppose you win down there. How ever will we get you up here?!" - Bob, on Lisa's broken leg

"No, don't touch me! I saw you almost break her other leg. I'm not going to mess with you!" - Bob, after Scott was called down

This was a tough choice this week... I had a tough time choosing between Jordan and Bob discussing the Check Game name blunder, and my eventual choice.. But, after serious thought, here is the Barkerism Of The Week:

"Ohhh, look at this! Now, I've seen a lot of pictures of me, but look at this... Thank you! Thank you very much!" - Bob, on Rochelle's Viva Bob Barker shirt (with Bob's head on Elvis' body. And, yes, Bob said "Thank you! Thank you very much!" like Elvis!)

For any of you out there who want to watch/hear Bob channel his inner Elvis, click here, click the download now link, and advance to the 2:56 mark in the video... Enjoy!

Barkerisms Of The Week: Five More Years (hopefully) edition

2006-02-27T07:02:00.000-08:00

And, now for some more badly needed laughs...

"Now, before we proceed. Stephen, I want you to know the item up for bids will eventually end up right over there. Now don't you take your eye off that! We'll take care of getting another contestant, you just keep looking at that!" - Bob, trying to keep Stephen focused

"Stephen, are you listening!?" - Bob, as he placed the bag on the Balance Game scale a second time just to hear the sound again

"Have you ever considered getting a job?" - Bob, after Lindsay told him he spends most of his time snowboarding (it was later revealed that Lindsay is a snowboarding instructor)

"You want me to kiss you? We have a group of LA elementry school teachers here, and during the last commercial break, one of them stood up and said 'I want to give you a kiss, Bob!' So, one of them gets called, and the first thing she says when reaches contestant row is 'I want to give you a kiss, Bob!' What's wrong with these teachers? I think we have some desperate teachers here today!" - Bob, after Victoria was called

"Ransom... Ransom... I don't even want to stand next to a guy that size who can't get the wheel all the way around. That's disgusting!" - Bob, after Ransom (who looked to be about 6'3" and 280 pounds) didn't get the wheel all the way around

"Now that's an heirloom. I want you all to take a look at this shirt. This picture on her shirt was the very first one of me taken when I started hosting Truth Or Consequences. That was taken before I'd even done the show. It was a publicity thing... I was so cute back then! That one was taken a little later..." - Bob, on Brenda's "Now... Or Then" shirt (The "then" picture was from 1956, the "now" was a recent one)

"Uhhh.. I think we shall proceed!" - Bob, after Irene kissed him and starting rambling

"He may not have gotten the wheel all the way around, but Ransom is the top winner in today's showcase!" - Bob, before the start of the day's showcases

"Are you listening to me? I'm making a speech, and you're clear over there, looking at the audience!" - Bob, on Veronica not paying attention as he explained the rules to Any Number

"Okay, now you can look at the audience!" - Bob, after he finished explaining the rules to Veronica

"Hurry up, Cleta. Get up here, or I'll proceed without you!" - Bob, losing his patience

"We prefer 'least expensive'!" - Bob, after Cleta repeated the rules for Step Up, using the word "cheapest"

"Well, you could've won the whole thing... Go have a talk with Lee!" - Bob, after Cleta ignored Lee's advice and stopped (had she followed his advice, she would've won everything)

"Lee and Cleta have been married for 41 years, and Lee? Cleta has asked me to tell you it's all over!" - Bob, worried that a pricing game could break them up before reaching 42 years

"Well, it's a big wheel, and you're just a little girl!" - Bob, on Vicki's concerns about getting the wheel all the way around

"And she's doing a jumping spin... That's a good way for a little girl to lose a tooth!" - Bob, a bit worried about Vicki's spinning style

"You're Lynnsey, you know that?" - Bob, after Lindsey moved her hair so it no longer obscured her nametag

"Well, if you're going to miss, miss them all!" - Bob, after Christopher got all three prices wrong on Make Your Move

"No.. No... Uh, uhhh uhhh... This can be a confusing game!" - Bob, standing there flipping the panels back and forth on Flip Flop

"Boy, she left in a hurry. The iron woman left me up here alone in a hurry!" - Bob, on Gina's quick departure after she lost Flip Flop

"Bob can't help!" - Bob, after Christopher yelled "Come on, Bob!" after he spun the wheel

"It was a real pleasure to meet you, now get down to Contestant's Row where you belong!" - Bob, after Theresa was picked, and headed right for the stage

"Theresa was right, she belongs up on this stage. She knew that. She tried to come up here in the first place, but I threw her out. Theresa, you knew you belonged up on this stage all the time. Welcome back!" - Bob, after Theresa won the one-bid and got up on stage after all

"She's trying to pick the lock to the car!" - Bob, after Myrtle started patting her hands against the lock for the car in Master Key

"It is showcase time on The Price Is Right. And I want the two of you to know after what we've been through in the last hour, a double overbid is unacceptable!" - Bob, on Thursday's 0 for 6 performance

"Lina, Leila, Lisa. How did you get in here, Warren?!" - Bob, more than a bit amused by the show's first four contestants

Bob: "John, have you been watching The Price Is Right for awhile?"
John: "Many years."
Bob: "What do contestants do when Rich calls your name?"
John: "Well they go and... OHH!!" *John heads back to Contestant's Row*
Rich: "Yeah!"
- Bob, on yet another contestant who thinks "Come on down!" means "Come right up to the stage!"

Thank goodness for all those laughs, in a week where more pricing games were lost than won, and we ended the last two shows with double overbids in the showcases...

The Barkerism Of The Week:

"Now, wait. I think we are missing a very important conversation. Did you not turn to him and ask him what you were bidding on? Did you not see the boat? Did you not hear Rich describe it? How long have you been in this condition? Is there a doctor in the house? Well, there's one. Dr. Ralph, how would you diagnose his condition? Hopeless, he said!" - Bob, after Stephen took forever to bid and appeared to be quite lost

Five years later, the price will still be right, bitch!

2006-02-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

On a lighter note, at least Maddy got some good news today, courtesy of logikreader (a poster on the golden-road.net forums):

logikreader attended Monday's early taping of The Price Is Right, and was there to hear The Man give such good news it had the crowd on their feet, cheering insanely.

Bob Barker, whose five year contract expires in June, has signed a NEW five year contract to continue hosting TPIR! This contract is structured like the last one: Bob can opt out each December, then finish out that year and call it a career.

However, the last time he signed a five year deal, I shook my head. I couldn't see Bob going to 82. I figured he'd get to 80, and retire. But he shocked Mike and I once (going the whole five years), so I wouldn't be that shocked to see five more years from the WGMC (World's Greatest MC, a title given to him by the late Mark Goodson).

You know what this means, of course... More trips to the Bob Barker Studio! More fun! More the price is right, bitch!

The Bob is still right!

This Week's Barkerisms: Record-setting edition

2006-02-19T06:59:00.000-08:00

Here comes this week's long, record-setting Barkerisms!

"You're a tight end, are you? Well, there are days where I work with tight cameramen!" - Bob, teasing Joseph about his position on the football team

"Why are you all groaning? You told him to do that!"
(Audience groans "No!")
"My friend Rosny told me to stop there!"
"Where's Rosny?... You're the only person who's happy about this!"
- Bob, after Rosny gave Joseph horrible advice on Freeze Frame

"Now, Sheila, I want to be completely frank with you. You frighten the daylights out of me! I'm old, and I'm brittle! And I don't know if you're a dancer, or a karate fighter, with the way you came down here... But whatever it is, don't you hurt me while you're here!" - Bob, after the World's Most Dangerous Nurse got called down!

"Who's that group you're with?"
"Tastefully Simple. Those are my Taste Buds. Taste Buds love you!"
"Well, that is rather kind of you."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Since you love me, of course you may!"
- Bob, pleased to know Anita loves him (I think Anita loves everyone!)

"No, don't go that way, go this way. Unless you have something else in mind..." - Bob, after Anita starting walking the wrong direction

"I just noticed Roger's shirt. Roger's says 'Hey, Bob, I had my dog neutered in Marshfield, Wisconsin.' You didn't have to go to Marshfield, Wisconsin! They do that here, too!" - Bob, letting America know you can spay and neuter your pets everywhere!

"Now, listen! Naval officers are supposed to be able to make decisions, Nicole.. You know that?!" - Bob, after Nicole took forever to bid (GIVE YOUR BID! GIVE YOUR BID!)

"I have found out that Lt. junior grade Nicole is a hospital administrator in the Navy. Now, Sheila, would you like to join the Navy? I am sure she would be a very active nurse!" - Bob, trying to get Sheila as far away from him as possible!

"You are a nurse, aren't you? Let me see your credentials... No, no, that's alright!" - Bob, after Sheila reached into her pocket

"Sheila, I think I was the only one who saw that, but I want everyone to know. When she first came down to Contestant's Row, I said she looked dangerous. Well, Dominic beat her on that last bid, and as he turned to come up on stage, she slugged him! She slugged him in the back! She assaulted him!" - Bob, probably very thankful Sheila didn't make it up on stage!

"I personally would've preferred that you bid $27" - Bob, after Courtney bid $26, not wanting to go over

"What makes you think those people out there know more about this than you do?" - 1/2 Off

"I tell you, this is a vicious audience, you know that? They usually don't boo in this game!" - Bob, after James was booed for a second time in Dice Game for not rolling it over the line

"Now you booed him because he didn't get it over the line. So he tries to get you off his back, and accidentally does that... Leave him alone!" - Bob, after James rolled the die off the table

"Just based upon your reaction from winning your way up on stage, I fear your health could be in danger if you see the prize you can win!" - Bob, before showing Katelyn the first of three cars in Triple Play

"Did you see that? She thought I wanted to high-five her. I was trying to keep her from hitting me in the jaw!" - Bob, after Katelyn saw the first car

"Now, just one moment.. Get that oxygen ready back there!" - Bob, just before revealing the third car

"They better be right.. They've seen you in action!" - Bob, after the audience changed Katelyn's mind (and she lost as a result)

"And they will be perfect for Margaret! She lives in San Diego, and you know how much snow they down there!" - Bob, when Margaret had the chance to win two snowmobiles

"And will she be riding those through the streets of San Diego?!" Sadly, no - she picked the wrong price!

"Nicole looked up and me and said 'I need money!'. I've never had a contestant who didn't need money or need a car!" - Bob, as Nicole played Grand Game for $20,000

"Now don't push that button until you want to stop the range finder, because we can't start it again for 48 hours! I know on the daytime show it's 37 hours, but this is nighttime... Things take longer, you understand!" - Bob, giving the prime time twist to the old line about how long it takes to restart Range Game

"You know how to say it, too!" - Bob, after struggling to pronounce Evelia's name (A-vail-e-ah)

"Noooo.. Gazebos are much more precious than you realize!" - Bob, after Robert stopped the range finder too soon

"I'll meet you in the parking lot!" - Bob, after Betty whispered something in his ear

"Betty, I can see you on that offroad bike right now!". Betty is an older woman, looks to be about 70 or 75...

"Don't break our wheel after all these years!" - Bob, after Betty tried to spin the wheel by the number in front and not the handle on the side

"He's starting to come on down. No, he has to say goodbye to everyone. He's getting closer. No, he's still not done... You know, folks, I ought to give this guy my microphone. He has his own show going on down there!" - Bob, on Francis' trip to Contestant's Row

"You keep that up, and she's going to slug you, you know that?" - Bob, warning Jennifer to quit freezing out Susan

"Jennifer has escaped from danger down there in Contestant's Row!" - Bob, after Jennifer won her way up on stage

"You're Samoan? There's a Samoan on stage with me! Make sure you have security standing by. You know the stories about me with Samoan contestants, don't you? They pick me up and throw me in the air. One woman stood down in Contestant's Row and promised not to lay a hand on me. She comes right up on stage and picks me up over her head!" - Bob, upon finding out Koroseta is Samoan

"Here, you can take this check as a souvinier, which I'm sure you'll throw away first thing you leave!" - Bob, after Koroseta lost Check Game

"Spin the wheel, Koroseta... My friend from Samoa who has done me no bodily harm!" - Bob, grateful to know he'll live another day

"You couldn't ask for help from a better place!" - Bob, after Omolola begged god for her choice on Grand Game to be correct

"Rich, I have Jason. I have Jennifer. I have another Jennifer. I dare you to call a Jennifer!" - Bob, having fun over the fact there were two Jennifers in Contestant's Row

"Now, during that last commercial break, Shirley jumped to her feet and said I was the best dressed man on television. Now, immediately, her name gets called for her to be a contestant, which is just a little suspicious!" - Bob, on Shirley getting called on down

"Look at that, a natural Barker's Beauty! She did that even better than the first time!" - Bob, on his "new" Beauty... Tyra Banks

"Rather exciting time here, and rather romantic. Chason and Jennifer have been down together in Contestant's Row for so long that they're now engaged!" - Bob, on the two leftovers from the first four called down

"Jennifer just broke the engagement!" - Bob, after Chason outbid Jennifer by $1

"It would've been terrible if Chason had won his way up on stage after all that time, then broke his leg coming up the steps!" - Bob, after Chason tripped on his way up

"Spinning this wheel does not require as much stretching, Chason, as you seem to think!" - Bob, after Chason's elaborate stretching before spinning

More? How about these classic Barkerisms, featured in clips during Tuesday's Million Dollar Spectacular?

"Hello, Lilie. Now, I want you over here. Now, you want to stay up here and play a pricing game? How are you going to explain to these three people down here?!" - Bob, after Lilie was called on down - and went right to the stage. Her response? "Well, they're young, they'll understand!"

"It didn't go all the way around?! After 19 years, that is the most humiliating monent of my life on The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after he tried to help a little old lady get the wheel all the around and failed

"Would you like me to try it again?"
"I take back what I said a moment ago.. THAT is the most humiliating... Okay, you try it again, smart aleck!" - Bob, even more humiliated!

"I think.. I think.... I think I've been mugged!" - Bob, after a tiny woman won her way up on stage and nearly strangled him while hugging him

Still not enough? How about some in-studio Barkerisms?

"Nurses are supposed to help people. Have you ever hurt anyone? Please don't hurt me!" - Bob, during the commercial break after Sheila was called

"The network is complaining that we are over budget. They're always saying we're over budget. Of course, we don't pay for the budget anyway. And if we go over budget, we still don't pay - so we don't care! Besides, we want to see you guys win!". I hope the network smells what the Bob is cookin'!

"Bob, I have two questions for you, if that is okay?"
"No, you only get one question, see?" (Bob is holding up two fingers and laughing)
"How many kids do you have?"
"I have no kids... I got rid of them all!"
"Tomorrow I will be born. Will you be my father?"
"Sure!"
- Bob, about to become a father at 82

"You better have a large sum of money!" - Bob, after a woman celebrating her 21st birthday asked him to go bar-hopping with her

"Bob, take a look at my shirt!" (the woman was wearing a black shirt with a picture of Bob's face on it)
"Wow, that is great!"
"I wanted you to get a look at yourself. Will you sign it for me?"
"Absolutely not!"
- Bob, not wanting to sign his own face

"How do I become a Barker's Beauty?"
"Send your pictures to Fingers Greco... Then maybe you will be up here, modeling a new refrigerator!"
- Bob, to a woman who wanted to know how to become a Barker's Beautyi

And this week, we even got a Barkerism in print!

Forbes magaizine: You've been the host of The Price Is Right for 33 years. What have you learned about money from the show?
Bob: If you give a woman a car, you're gonna get kissed.

For the first time ever, a Richism!

"We have some crazy people here today. I can see the margaritas we gave out earlier in the day helped. Did anyone not get a margarita? Okay, see that page over there? Go talk to her!" - Rich, on the insane crowd present for the 1/26/06 taping

And, now, for this week's Barkerisms of the Week - yes, there are two!

This week's on-air Barkerism: "Awww, that picture.. I was so cute back then!" - Bob, on a picture of him (from the late 80's/early 90's on the back of Micky's shirt)

I did a great deal of debating about this second Barkerism. Why? Personal bias. I've heard Bob say many funny things over the years. There was, of course, "The price is right, bitch!", which gave birth to this feature. But this one has a very special place in my heart for one reason...

No matter how much longer Bob hosts TPIR, no matter if I ever become a contestant or not, I can die knowing I was part of a Barkerism!

Man in audience: "Bob, those are awesome pants!"
Bob: "You like my pants? How much do you bid on them?"
(Mike and I are sitting there, holding up one finger, as in one dollar. Bob accidentally calls on Mike, thinking he wants to ask a question)
Mike: "No, I was giving you my bid for your pants... One dollar!"
Bob: "Ohhh... Higher!"

Now, to get back to FUN...

2006-02-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

Before going into last week's Barkerisms, two things that'll be coming up this week:

1. Probably the longest Barkerism post in history, thanks to the fact we get SIX episodes this week (including a previously unaired Million Dollar Spectacular Tuesday night at 8 pm), not to mention the fact some of the off-camera Barkerisms will be included, as production 3531K aired yesterday (which, like 3475K, are the only two episodes in history to have Her Madgesty in attendence)

2. At some point in the next day or so, I'll type up my look back at the games themselves from Monday's episode (which, while we didn't have another $63,000 showcase, we did see both car games won and plenty of fun).

"You notice the applause was a little more enthusiastic than normal today? Must be the tie. You like the tie? Look at the cufflinks, they came with the tie. They were a gift from my friend Rich!" - Bob, on the enthusiastic greeting from the audience

"I don't want to embarass you, but those three bid faster than you did by yourself!" - Bob, on Heather taking forever to bid

"The nurse is back there, isn't she? I think she's cracking up!" - Bob, after Stacy was called on down and went nuts

"Yes, that's right everyone. AND IT'S STACY! WOOO HOOO! YEAH!!!! WOOO!!!!!!" - Bob, after Stacy got up on stage, pointed to Bob and screamed "IT'S BOB BARKER, EVERYONE!"

"And will you find me another Stacy, please?" - Bob, before the next item up for bids after Stacy's game

"Three years old, and watching The Price Is Right. Your twins are growing up the right way!" - Bob, giving his parenting seal of approval to Patty

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, you may think they didn't do so well. But just imagine how much worse they would've done without all that help!" - Bob, after Stacey and Glenda both went over on their showcases, despite help from relatives

"Arzie, you keep that up, and she's going to slug you any minute! She actually doubled-up her fist there for a second..." - Bob, warning Arzie to be careful after he bid $1,501 to Belinda's $1,500

"She's saying such sweet things that let's just go ahead and forget this game. Keep going!" - Bob, after Belinda won her way up on stage and kissed up to Bob

"This is an educational show, you see!" - Bob, after Rich explained what NewPhase suppliment was to Gloria

"Then that makes you a number one guy!" - Bob, after Kevin said his #1 reason for coming to California was to go to The Price Is Right

"I hate to do this, since you're a number one guy, but I need that last dollar!" - Bob, reminding Kevin that he needed the last dollar from Lucky Seven so Kevin can "buy" the car

"I just noticed this shirt, it says 'Vote for Pedro'. My first question was 'Who is Pedro?'. But I see where she crossed it out and wrote 'Bob'. Now you have a much better chance of winning your way up on stage!" - Bob, on Brenda's out of place "Vote For Pedro" shirt

"And the sad thing is when she's 60 she'll be saying 'My dad still pays for it!'" - Bob, after Kelli said her father pays for college, during his lead-up to 1/2 Off (where contestants play for $10,000)

"I know you feel sorry for poor Kelli, but remember: She still has ol' dad!" - Bob, after Kelli lost 1/2 Off (with a 50/50 chance to win)

"One of you has bid exactly right, and will get a $500 bid.. A $500 bill. $500 for your bid is what I'm trying to say. And I'll bet you it's not Brenda!" - Bob, pretty sure that navigation systems do not cost $1!

"I hope Fred enjoys this after I had so much trouble saying what it was!" - Bob, after turning "$500 bonus" into a tongue twister

"You better say hello to your dad!" - Bob, when Kelli wanted to say hello to some people while spinning the wheel, and didn't say hi to her father

"We're halfway through today's show, and I'd like to remind you that we still have Brenda, Suzanne, and Lindsay in Contestant's Row. I hope you don't think you're going to be paid scale for your appearances!" - Bob, giving the three "leftovers" the business!

"Those women are all Navy wives. And with them is one very worried looking sailor!" - Bob, hinting that things may not be so PG tonight!

And our (two-quote) Barkerism of the week?

"Now, I used to make an inspirational putt from way back here. But now it's just a putt.. I've fallen on bad times. Not very inspiring anymore!" - Bob, mourning his recent putting problems on Hole In One

Well, before the second quote, I have a special guest speaker who'd like to say a few things to our great host about his recent putting woes...

"You know what's driving me crazy? You, not getting the ball in the hole!" - Bob Barker, "Happy Gilmore"

"This guy sucks!" - Bob Barker, "Happy Gilmore"

"Alright.... Barker! Nice... And easy.... That was not nice and easy!"

"I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working over at the snack bar. I can't believe that you're any worse at hockey than you are at golf!" - Bob Barker, "Happy Gilmore"

"You know, I've been having trouble with one foot, it's bothering me a lot. And my back is bothering me. This shoulder is bothering me a little bit... So if I don't make this putt, I want you to know I'm putting under duress!" - Bob, just before his inspirational putt... Which he made!

(By the way: Last Thursday's episode, where they played Hole In One, was taped two days before my second trip to see TPIR. A woman in the audience asked Bob how his golf game was doing, and Bob had said he finally made a putt the other day, and he hoped it was the start of a streak. So, I knew he would finally sink one - but the whole thing about putting under duress made it pricesless!)

Barkerisms - Slighty tardy edition

2006-02-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

Now, for some badly needed laughs...

"I just want you to know that was one of the most elaborate 'come on downs' ever on the Price Is Right!" - Bob, in response to Evelyn's lengthy trip down to Contestant's Row

"If it's anything like her come on down, we may need a commercial while she's coming up here!" - Bob, after Evelyn won her way up on stage

"Wait, don't interupt this young man, he's making perfect sense!"
"Bob, you're the king!"
"Andre, you and I are going to get along fine!"
- Bob, pleased with Andre's "Bob Is King" shirt (a parody of the Burger King logo)

"She's so proud of me because I explained that so well!" - Bob, on Lois' enthusiam while he described Double Prices

"I hope we're not going to ruin the honeymoon!" - Bob, after 80 year old George (on a honeymoon with his 70 year old wife) wiped out on Pathfinder

"During the commercial, I told this group in red what was going to happen... Because we all know that they're all here from a place of business, and there's a 'flu epidemic', and they've all taken off from work. I said one of you will probably get on the show, win his way - or her way - into the showcase, win it, then they'll all come up and be seen, and then they'll all be on unemployment tomorrow! And what's bad is all the rest of us, with our tax money, will be taking care of them! That's what's going to happen!" - Bob, giving a group of people playing hookey a lecture on responsibility!

"What would you do, Bob?"
"I'd pick another number!"
- Bob, after John made the mistake of trying to ask for advice while playing Money Game

"Esther, they're booing you because you didn't get it all the way around. Now, you have family here with you from the Philipines? Well, they'll go home, and the word will spread. They'll know all throughout the Philipines that you were booed!" - Bob, after Esther's puny spin

(And, no, not THAT Esther. I mean, can you imagine if SHE spun the wheel? You seen her arms lately? She'd probably break the damned thing!)

"I'll be gentle, I promise!"
"You'll be gentle? I love your attitude!"
- Bob, quite relieved that Josephine isn't going to squeeze the life out of his old, brittle body

"You're the third contestant I've ever had who's understood how to play Check Game!" - Bob, with even more reason to like Josephine

"Can't we change the rules this one time, and make the limit $6,500?!" - Bob, after Josephine sadly lost Check Game

"And the cookware should've been $5.60!" - Bob, laughing at himself after he slipped and referred to Susanne's $198 guess for the cookware on Make Your Move (which was wrong!) was "A dollar ninety eight"

"We've been spinning this big wheel for years, and for years, if you get $1.00, you win $1,000 and a bonus spin. But in the case of Rebecca, she must get $1.98!" - Bob, still having fun over his slip

"During the last commercial break, he was on his feet, whining 'Bob, this is my 12th time here! How do I get Rich to call my name?' He practically had tears streaming down his face. I told him 'All you need to do is slip Rich a few dollars!'" - Bob, on the irony that Justin just got called on down after talking to him during the previous break

The Barkerism Of The Week:

"I just learned a wonderful thing... I am more popular among Riverside biochemistry students than amino acids!". And you have no idea how humiliated I would've been if amino acids were more popular at my hometown's university than Bob!

Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

2006-01-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

It's January, it's cold, life is chaotic as ever. Hmmm... What to do to pass the time? Gee, how about spending Thursday at the Mecca of game shows?

After dragging my feet for decades to get around to attending my first taping of The Price Is Right, it took just two months and ten days to make it Los Angeles for taping #2.

Instead of a lengthy play-by-play of the trip, like with taping #1, instead I'll stick to highlights and fun from Television City itself. And, believe me, there was plenty of it!

Live, the Universe and Everything: When you attend a taping of The Price Is Right, you are given a number. This is so they can match up your number with the contestant card you fill out so they know who they are picking.

What number was I? You guessed it... 42! And, yes, I still have my orange contestant card (along with my nametag). At some point, I must scan it...

Happy Gilmore lives!: Fortunately, Bob is not ashamed of his cameo in Happy Gilmore, because there's no way the younger fans will let him forget it...

We had three fans show up on Thursday with T-Shirts that had a picture of Bob from his fight with Happy, with "Don't mess with Bob, or he'll give you a smackdown!" printed on them.

However, not to be outdone, we had Devon, who was attending his first taping. He arrived in a Boston Bruins jersey, and red pants - yep, he came as Happy Gilmore! Sadly, Devon was not picked. That would've indeed been priceless!

Welcome to Insanityville! Population: 325: It was supposed to be nice little taping. What nobody counted upon was the "T.S." group...

A group of retailers for a company called Tastefully Simple were at the taping, and a few women in the group were, well, wild. Everytime someone walked by wearing a contestants' nametag, they would shout out their name and start cheering... "James!" "Michael!" "Deborah!".

I had to walk past a group of people waiting to go into a taping of Tyra Banks' show to get to the restroom, and they were all sitting there, so nice and quiet and calm. I was almost tempted to say to them "Look at you. Such a nice, quiet crowd. So calm. Look at those lunatics. I can't do anything. They're out of control!", then look down at my nametag and say "Whoops, I guess I'm one of them, too..."

I don't know what lead to what, but by about 12:45, Mike and I were getting into the act, too. Everytime someone walked by, we shouted and cheered. When people finished up their interviews and walked past, we cheered. We cheered them when they found the right bathroom (yes, one guy accidentally walked into the WOMEN'S restroom!). We cheered the trash truck as it drove by. We cheered total strangers. We shouted "GO! GO! GO!" when a page ran past us. We were doing the wave. It's like we lost our minds out there...

We were even making up chants, and I came up with "GIVE YOUR BID!" (think of the commercial with Peyton Manning chanting "CUT THAT MEAT! CUT THAT MEAT!"). Mike loved that so much he decided to shout it if a contestant took too long on the item up for bids (and yes, it DID happen during the taping!).

At this point. I was now convinced that this taping was the craziest thing I've ever done, replacing the November taping...

Right in front of us were four young men from Canada, also at their first taping. As the day went on, they too were getting in the act - cheering, yelling, plotting up trouble, you name it. They kept talking about rushing up on stage and celebrating if a member of the T.S. group won, which eventually became "We'll just rush up on stage, who cares who wins!". Fortunately, they didn't rush the stage, but they gave me plenty of laughs throughout the day...

How crazy were things? During our final set of instructions from Robert (a CBS page) before going into the studio, Mike and I kept laughing at things we felt were funny. He looked at us and said "I don't know what you two are on, but I want some of it! Really." And, just before we walked in, he again said "Seriously. I want what you're on!". I should've told him the truth: Caffeine and adreneline!

The Return: Just after 2:00 pm, we once again made that walk up the stairs and into the famous studio itself. I couldn't help but to get a kick out of the people astonished at how small the set really is - knowing that just two months earlier, I was as astonished as they were.

There was little doubt in my mind how much energy there would be today. I mean, if we can spend hours cheering each other, cheering at the trash truck and laughing it up, I could only imagine what it was going to be like once the show began.

All that was left was the warmup and instruction from Rich Fields, and we were ready to go. Of course, we were plenty warmed up already...

"Please humor the old man!": It's fun to cheer at each other ("Jimmy! Woo hoo!"). It's fun getting nuts outside on the benches. But nothing beats the fun once The Man is in the house, and to the surprise of nobody, Bob was once again greeted with a wild, loud standing ovation just after 2:30 pm. This time around, I did join in with Mike for the "We're not worthy!" routine.

You, of course, cannot have Bob Barker without Barkerisms, and Bob most certainly delivered once again - both on and off camera. No, we did not get "The price is right, bitch!" on Thursday, but we got plenty to keep us laughing throughout the hour.

During the first commercial break, Bob responded to standing ovation #2 with his usual line, "Thank you, but please... One standing ovation a day is plenty!".

He then told us that they were going to be on vacation next week... "We're going on vacation after today. We'll be off for a week. So, please, let's end this week on a positive note. Laugh at all my little tricks... Please humor the old man!"

Before the second item up for bids, a woman from a group of nurses was called on down, and had more than enough energy to scare Bob a little... "Nurses are supposed to help people. Have you ever hurt anyone? Please don't hurt me! You scare me! Now, if you get up on stage, please realize I am old and brittle!"

After playing a pricing game for a car, Bob had this zinger for the audience: "The network is complaining that we are over budget. They're always saying we're over budget. Of course, we don't pay for the budget anyway. And if we go over budget, we still don't pay - so we don't care! Besides, we want to see you guys win!"

A woman raised her hand, and had two questions for Bob...

"Bob, I have two questions for you, if that is okay?"
"No, you only get one question, see?" (Bob is holding up two fingers and laughing)
"How many kids do you have?"
"I have no kids... I got rid of them all!"
"Tomorrow I will be born. Will you be my father?"
"Sure!"

And if you need fashion help, go see Bob... And the best part of this one is that Mike and I got in on a Barkerism!

"Bob, those are awesome pants!"
"You like my pants? How much do you bid on them?"
(Mike and I are sitting there, holding up one finger, as in one dollar. Bob accidentally calls on Mike, thinking he wants to ask a question)
"No, I was giving you my bid for your pants... One dollar!"
"Ohhh... Higher!"

A young woman was celebrating the big 2-1, and knew how she wanted to spend the night...

"Bob, today is my 21st birthday, and I'm going out to the bars tonight. Will you come with me?"
"You better have a large sum of money!"

And what can I say, but Bob didn't want to sign his own face...

"Bob, take a look at my shirt!" (the woman was wearing a black shirt with a picture of Bob's face on it)
"Wow, that is great!"
"I wanted you to get a look at yourself. Will you sign it for me?"
"Absolutely not!"

And here's a two-part Barkerism. A young man said the following:

"Bob, I just wanted to say you're a national treasure."
"Well, thank you!"

Right after that, a woman in the T.S. group got Bob's attention:

"Bob, we sell gourmet food, and have some samples for you."
"Gourmet food? I think that's fitting for a national treasure!"

And, if you've ever wanted to be a Barker's Beauty (I don't know about this one, only because it's been some time since I've seen a Beauty in thigh-high boots!):

"How do I become a Barker's Beauty?"
"Send your pictures to Fingers Greco... Then maybe you will be up here, modeling a new refrigerator!"

(Anytime Bob mentions writing into the show, such as when he let his hair go gray, he always tells everyone to write to Kathy "Fingers" Greco).

Bob had many more zingers that will be on the air, and you can bet in a few weeks they'll be featured here!

Acknowledging the crazy audience: No doubt Bob and Rich knew they had a bunch of live ones, and Rich got into the act with his own Richism:

"We have some crazy people here today. I can see the margaritas we gave out earlier in the day helped. Did anyone not get a margarita? Okay, see that page over there? Go talk to her!"

The karmic stomach cramp/I went to The Price Is Right and all I got was...: Just before the second Showcase Showdown, the combination of dehydration (two cups of coffee and no water), starchy food (the waffle I ate for breakfast) and overdoing it caught up, and I had the worst stomach cramps I've ever had in my life. I thought I was going to faint, and what didn't help was the congestion on the staircase as we were leaving (it took about 10 minutes to get outside)...

The original plan was to get out, get to the bus stop, and start the trip home. However, I had to get to a bathroom...

After doing my thing, I decide to sit down for a few minutes and try to get myself together. While we're sitting there, a page walks by and recognizes us...

"You two were at The Price Is Right today, weren't you?"

We told her we sure were, and loved it. She then said "Well, I think I have something you'll like" and reaches for something on her clipboard (underneath some papers)...

She pulls out two authographed pictures of Bob Barker.

So, now I have another goodie for the collection, to eventually be framed and put up on the walls, along with my Madonna posters, my Sherrie posters and photos (most of which are autographed), my pass from the 1979 Bob Hope Classic (signed by Arnold Palmer), and my autographed photo of Ken Jennings.

I most certainly enjoyed the experience, but the picture was certainly the icing on the cake. And, to think: Had it not been for my stomach cramps, I wouldn't have gotten that!

It was a real blast, and we're looking at doing it again. Very likely in March, and we certainly want to be there for the opening episode of season 35!

Now, this week's televised Barkerisms:

"That beautiful sound means one of you was exactly right, and will win $500. And I will bet you right now it is NOT Rachel!" - Bob, in response to Rachel's $1 bid

"Now, Earl, remember when you first tried to put that 9 down there, the audience booed and moaned and yelled. Which just goes to show just how much they know about what's going on here!" - Bob, taking a stab at the audience as Earl played Cover Up

"Now I will wager that never, ever will Earl go with his gut again!" - Bob, after Earl's gut feeling didn't work out

"That's a pretty sloppy cut there, I must say. They break your wrist for that in Vegas!" - Bob, on Angela's sloppy cut in Hit Me

"Where you do live, Patricia? Now, the questions get easier as we go!" - Bob, trying to put a nervous woman at ease

"She insists on fainting!" - Bob, worried that Patricia wants to join the short list of TPIR contestants that have fainted

(Just before the Showcase Showdown)
Bob: "Now, incidentally, Patricia, are you all right?"
Patricia: "I think so."
Bob: "You're gonna be all right, yes. They gave her a little tequila backstage and I think it settled her down."

"I have just found out that Emily, here, is with Bridgewater College's group that we have up here. Bridgewater College is in Virginia, and most of the people in the group here are studying communications. And if they want to learn television, they have come to the right place!" - Bob, trying to show us that The Price Is Right is also educational

"Anthony was standing there, smiling confidently... He would've let me send that poor lady outta here, you know! Keep this straight here, Barker!" - Bob, who must've drank the tequilia, because he briefly forgot that 50 cents is more than 45!

Bob: "I don't understand... No wait, wait! I do not, do not, understand what brought that reaction! I was simply telling them - there's some people here from South Dakota - that this past summer Sioux Falls, at one of the baseball games, they gave away bobblehead dolls... Bob Barker bobblehead dolls." (audience goes nuts, Rich laughs)
Bob: "Now, wait a minute. Wait a mi... All right! I feel like I'm on Truth or Consequences again, you know? I can't say that. I can't say the word because... Are they flashing 'applause' signs or what are you doing? We have a weird audience here!"
Rich: "Yes, very weird."
Bob: "But, man. I'm not going to say any more about it! I can say 'bobblehead', that's all right, yeah... That's all right, but we won't say whose bobblehead it is!"

(During the warmups, Rich instructs the audience to go nuts if they hear Bob and Barker together. Don't go nuts if he says "Bob" by itself, or "Mr. Barker", only if you hear "Bob Barker".)

"I know just how your mind is working. You thought 'That old man won't notice this!' But I did!" - Bob, after Shawn tried to pull a fast one

"Now step over there. Don't press the red button until you want to stop the Rangefinder because we can't start it again for weeks!" - Bob, finally using something besides "37 hours" on Range Game!

"I want our viewers to know that I had a very exciting few moments here during that last commercial. I learned that at Arizona State University, they have a Bob Barker Fan Club and look! We have a HUGE group from my fan club... Stand up, both of them! Now, when I express a certain amount of disappointment at the size of the group, these young ladies claim that there are hundreds of them in the club, but only these two could come today. And I'm happy to have you here!" - Bob, who should realize he has 323 other members of the fan club in the studio already

"And I didn't know what it meant then, but that was different. I was...I was a homeboy then, but with this group - there's a group here, the group is the "BOB IS MY HOMIE" group and that's good, huh? I don't speak this language today, you see? I'm about three decades behind!" - Bob, commenting on a contestant's "Bob is my homie" shirt

This week's Barkerism Of The Week shows that while Bob is hazardous to Happy Gilmore's health, Chuck Norris can be hazardous to his health!

"Now I was... I was telling the audience a story and I was interrupted by the television show - and it starts - and I didn't get to finish my story. There was a fellow in the audience asked me to tell the story about Chuck Norris. And I pointed out that I had studied karate with Chuck Norris for about eight years and that he was over at my home one day and we were sparring. He kicked me in the ribs, and it hurt a lot - and it continued to hurt. And his brother was over in another couple of days and he kicked me in the other side, and it also hurt. Eventually I went to the doctor, and I was X-rayed, and the doctor came back and said 'Bob, I can see why you're uncomfortable.' He said 'you have two cracked ribs on each side! So, I went home and I was speaking to my mother and I told her about it and she said 'I think maybe you're gonna have to stop playing with those Norris boys!'"

Barkerisms of the Week - The Price Is Still Right, bitch! Edition

2006-01-22T06:54:00.000-08:00

"Bob, you're one of my biggest heroes!"
"One of? Who...? Who..."
"My biggest hero!"
"That's better!"

- Bob, insulted that he was only "one of" Jennifer's biggest heroes

"Now, you listen to me. That's better! Rich is describing this, and she's *imitates her looking at the audience, paying no attention*. Straighten up now, or I'll throw you back!" - Bob, giving Jennifer the business for not paying attention to Rich's description

"Whoa, careful Brandi! She almost opened that box. You know if you accidently give it away, it's coming out of your paycheck!" - Bob, making sure his beauties know how to handle the boxes in 1/2 Off (which is played for $10,000)

"Did you see that, Rich? The second I asked you for a winner for this spot, Bice tried to sneak over. She's been trying to do that all day. Is there a page over there? Tie a rope around her ankle and keep her where she belongs!" - Bob, showing how he maintains discipline

"We have a group here of librarians from all around California! Now, I have one question... Any of you read any good books lately?" - Bob, proving that reading is FUNdamental

"We're ready for the first Showcase Showdown! Are you ready for the case.. Are you ready for whatever I'm trying to say?" - Bob, leaving us to wonder if he might've spiked his coffee this morning

"And Kenneth is wearing a Corpus Christi hat here! I got my wings as a naval aviator in Corpus Christi! Yes, that was back in the war of 1812!" - Bob, claiming he found a way to fly before Orville and Wilbur did!

"Now, if that happens again, you're disqualified!" - Bob, clearly not wanting to use his "trusty Plinko stick" again

"Rich, do you think it would be interesting to finish the show with all male contestants?"
"Sure!"
"Did you hear the voices? 'No! No! No!' Very effeminite voices!"

- Bob, trying once again to turn The Price Is Right into a battle of the sexes

"Josh, you must keep in mind that if he goes again and gets 'Lose everything', you've lost nothing!" - Bob, letting Jan's friend Josh (who was in the audience giving advice) know that he wasn't the one risking $5,000 on another shot at the car

"You know, I am afraid this is going to develop into a riot today!" - Bob, after Sherry (who bid $1) punched Erik (who followed it up by bidding $2)

"Now, let me tell you, if you get me naked for a physical, you're going to be in for a shock!" - Bob, commenting on Kimberly's "Hey Bob, you want a physical?" shirt, warning her that he still has it at 82

"Frances, it seems as though it's been forever since I've seen you!" - Bob, after Frances was called on down, after he gave her a kiss during the previous commercial break

"Now, Sherry, you do realize she bid $2, right?" - Bob, letting Sherry know that once again someone bid $2 after she foolishly bid $1

And this week's Barkerism Of The week?

"The audience... If you heard this reaction when we came back, they wanted me to say a particular line from Happy Gilmore! I checked with Standards and Practices, and they would not allow me to say that!"

Of course, what Bob knows is that Standards and Practices can only keep Bob from saying that line ON the air. We all know damned well he can say it OFF the air all he wants... The Price Is Right, bitch!

This week's fun with Bob

2006-01-15T06:52:00.000-08:00

I missed Friday's show, sadly. Fortunately, Bob was a very busy man during the first four shows this week...

"Which one did she have right before? How the heck would I know!" - Bob, after Joyce confused him - and herself - playing Switcheroo (she won NOTHING)

"You just think you're pumped... I'm going to pump you good!" - Bob, about to tell "pumped" Timothy that he's about to play Safe Crackers for a car

"Why didn't one of you bid one dollar?!?" - Bob, after the first overbid on Contestant's Row

"If this had been another overbid, you know what I was going to do? Disqualify all of you!" - Bob, after the SECOND overbid on the same item up for bids

"All the way around!! What are you doing?! BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - Bob, after Jonna tried to finesse the wheel to .10 (she got .90 in the first spin), and didn't even get it halfway around!

"There she is on the front row. Now, wait... This is interesting... That's right. Joan, I'm a little worried about your sense of direction!" - Bob, after Joan started running AWAY from Contestant's Row after being called on down

"We had a gentleman who was here for his 17th time. He was called, and ran right on out the back door... And as far as I know, he's still running!" - Bob, bringing up the fact that Joan isn't the only one to pull a Jim Marshall

"She has a shirt that says 'Bob Rocks!', and it's true. I have a rocking chair, and I sit and rock whenever I want!" - Bob, making light of Christine's "Bob Rocks!" T-Shirt

"I see, it's on your shirt! Why did you wait so long? Where do you live?"
"Gardenia!"
"She couldn't make it that far... I was going to talk about it, instead I'm just going to show you this!"

- Bob, taking a stab at Joni's "I've waited 30 years to meet Bob!" T-Shirt

"It took an hour?! I can see why you waited 30 years!" - Bob, still having fun with Joni's 30 year wait - and Joni's hour-long trip

"I think I'm going to quit putting. You know, I used to make all the putts. But I read that even professional golfers, when they get older, they get the yips. I think I've had the yips for about 30 years now!" - Bob, after missing yet another "inspirational putt" on Hole In One (Or Two)

"With Joni as the contestant, we should've had a driving contest, not a putting contest!" - Bob, after Joni hit both of her putts way, WAY too hard

"I don't know if that will get all the way around or not... Oh, Joni! BOOOOOOO!" - Bob, after Joni decided to join Jonna and be booed

"I am breakable! She has squeezed the air completely out of my old body. I don't know if I have the strength to explain this game to her now!" - Bob, after Jodie tried to squeeze him to death before playing Bonus Game

"You stand over here. You're a dangerous woman. Don't touch me!" - Bob, clearly scared of Jodie

"Here she comes, and she can be dangerous. I better be careful. I may be attacked from behind if I don't turn around. Careful! Don't strike me!" - a still-frightened Bob, worried about Chandra (who was quite excited) coming up on stage

"Careful. Yes. It's a dangerous day here on The Price Is Right!" - Bob, after Jodie nearly slipped while spinning the big wheel

"Now I think she's confused. Now I know she's confused! This has become a whole new game!" - Bob, wondering what Jean was doing while playing Easy As 1-2-3

"She's taking things off.. I hope she doesn't go too far with that!" - Bob, after Johanna took her purse off her shoulder when she was called on down

"I want you to know Johanna - now you may still win. But if you don't win that popcorn machine, I have one to sell you! And because you're a sweet lady, I'll give you a huge discount. I won't sell it to you for $9,999 - I'll give it to you for an even $9,000!" - Bob, offering Johanna a discount after one of the dumbest bids ever ($9,999 for a popcorn cart/machine)

"Here's the bid everyone in America is waiting for! Now, let me point out that we can only put four digits there!" - Bob, before Johanna's bid on the next item up for bids

"I hope you're kidding about that neutered on your shirt, Daniel. I tell you to neuter your pets. Well, it's too late now!" - Bob, pointing out Daniel's shirt, which simply said "Neutered"

"You still have some money to buy some gasoline. Not much, not much gasoline..." - Bob, after Paul won Lucky Seven, and still had $3 left over

"Carolyn, be very careful driving home!" - Bob, after Carolyn fell on her butt (and broke a few lights) spinning the big wheel

"Spin the wheel, Mattie, and don't fall down! Get it all the way around, and don't fall!" - Ranger Bob offering a safety tip to the next spinner

"They were going to do Happy Gilmore 2, but Adam Sandler's doctors said he couldn't take another beating like the one I gave him!" - Bob making like Mr. T and predicting pain (and proving that the price is still right, bitch!)

"Now this is getting really boring, you understand?!" - Bob, frustrated with more overbids on Contestant's Row

A million laughs once again... But for this week's Barkerism Of The Week:

"People are going to think this is the Jerry Springer show going on down here!" - Bob, after Holly, Gretchen and Vicki took turns hitting each other after being frozen out by each other's bids on Contestant's Row

NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!

2006-01-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

With episode #6,310 finally hitting the airwaves, I can now offer full insight and thoughts into the events that I watched unfold live on November 16, ***5...

All I have to say, before I start offering my thoughts and insights, is that this was just surreal to finally watch the episode on television... I mean, to turn on The Price Is Right for a first-run, brand new episode and KNOW what was going to happen because I watched it live nearly two months before America saw it...

Did it make it any less exciting? No. I was excited, but then again, I had all these fun little secrets about episode #6,310 that I've been quiet about for nearly two months..

The first pricing game of the day was Make Your Move for a a laser measure, a sofa, and a trip to Tampa. When Meredith put the trip to Florida as $2,619, I thought she was wrong, wrong, WRONG. I saw the board and thought "That trip to Florida HAS to be $3,526. Switch that with the Measure!". She definitely had the sofa right...

A very pleasant surprise when she did turn out to be right. Good for her, and what a way to start taping #1!

Next up was One Away. Jeanette was in line a few people behind me, and I knew before we even entered the studio how badly she wanted to win a car. When they revealed that Pontiac Grand Prix, I was so thrilled for her. I thought "Hey, you wanted a car, and there's your chance!".

Normally, I am terrible at One Away, but when she got only two horns, I knew she had to change the middle three. When she changed the one, I was immediately bummed - I knew it just wasn't going to happen.

Poor Jeanette was shaking and on the verge of tears when she walked off the stage and down the aisle past me.

This was the loss that led Bob to say "You know, I don't think it's such a bad thing when a contestant doesn't win a car. Another one for my collection. When cars aren't won, Rich and I get them. We split them 50-50. I went to Rich's house last week, and he had a line of cars two blocks long!"

At this point, no doubt I was enjoying my trip to LA more than Jeanette. But, the day was still young....

Third on the list was Plinko. Oh dear!

My first reaction at seeing that board was horror. The bane of my TPIR existance. Stinko! The game that seems to be played everytime I turn on my TV is going to be played in person!

I began to lose my passion for Plinko when about 15 years ago that female contestant won all five chips, then managed to win $0! That left a bad taste in my mouth...

But, that being said, I was pulling for Andrew. And you can just imagine the deflation in the audience when Andrew dropped 5 chips and won a whopping $500 because four of them found the dreaded zero. I mean, nobody has ever won the maximum on Plnko, and the odds are believed to be over 59,000 to 1 of it happening. But $500? Heartbreaking!

Bob, during the commercial break: "You remember that woman who got five $0's on Plinko? She shot herself in the parking lot!"

What can I say, but the Plinko board is evil. EVIL!

Not a very good start...

Showcase Showdown #1: Well, the dream is alive for Jeanette. At that point, I'm hoping it took away some of the sting from One Away... She certainly looked pretty damned excited after she won her way into the Showcases.

Item Up For Bids #4: John Goodson?! I can't believe he slipped my mind, considering that we had a Janice Pennington in the audience, a James Brown in the audience, and a Deborah Gibson (me). What on earth, was this the celebrity edition of The Price Is Right?!

(Jonathan Goodson is the name of a game show producer, and the son of Mark Goodson - the man who created The Price Is Right)

Next up was Take Two for a baseball mitt chair, a computer, two guitars and dinnerware. I was absolutely lost as far as a first guess. But when I saw the $800 on the chair, I knew Elizabeth should've gone with the chair and guitars. Sadly, she did not...

And at this point, Bob is desperate for a winner, and to get the crowd fired up. During that commercial break, he asks "Do I have a bunch of losers here?! I'm trying to give away this stuff! Come up here and win it!"

The fifth game was Pass The Buck for a Ford Focus. No car for Kara, but she hit all three money spots and walked away with $9,000 (I believe this was the first time this has ever happened). And, quite honestly: If that had been me playing PTB, I would've rather won $9,000 than a Ford Focus! I don't drive, but if I did, I sure wouldn't want a Focus...

John (how can we have The Price Is Right without a Goodson?! Then again, we should've also gotten Janice Pennington!) closed out today's pricing games with Pick A Number, playing for a bed and sleep set. If you thought I was horrified seeing Plinko.. We could see the bottom of the game underneath the giant price tag, and I immediately turned to Mike and said "What the heck?! Didn't they retire that wicked thing!? I guess not..."

I mean, Pick A Number is definitely in my top 5 of least favorite pricing games. The set is ugly, the game is boring, and the prices are typically repulsive...

The 8 was obviously a very easy choice with it being a bed, and the first digit being a two. Fortunately, John closed out the pricing games on a good note (and a goodnight!) after a very tough day...

Not exactly the kind of won-loss record I wanted to see for my first taping, but it was still fun to watch.

John would win the second Showcase Showdown, and square off against Jeanette in the showcases. With John as the top winner, he had the choice to bid or pass on showcase #1.

The first showcase was a collection of cordless phones, a motorcycle and a ski boat. Very, VERY nice showcase. John chose to bid on this showcase, passing the second to Jeanette.

John bid $29,500 - which I was fairly sure was a reasonable bid, but I was a bit worried that he might be barely over...

At this point, I was thinking "Wow, I guess we're going to see nothing but furniture for the second."

However, while asking John to bid or pass, and for his bid, they began setting up for the second showcase, so those of us in the audience saw the Route 66 sign in front of door #3 before they even revealed Jeanette's kick boxing equipment. And the first thing that popped into my head was "Jeanette, girl, you're getting a shot at redemption..."

Jeanette seemed thrilled over the kick boxing equipment. She really seemed thrilled when they offered the trip to Spain...

But now, it's freak out time.

Imagine the absolute shock when they opened door #3, and sitting there was a black 2006 CORVETTE!

Obviously, we knew we were looking at one big showcase. I was thinking $52,000 myself, and when she bid $61,000, I thought "Oh no. Oh no!" I could just see the look of pain coming when Bob would tell her in a few minutes that she had overbid... At that moment, my thought was "John, if you didn't go over, you're going home happy."

John did not go over - his showcase was $33,350, leaving him with a difference of $3,850.

So, Bob walks on over to Jeanette's podium, and grabs the envelope concealing the actual retail price of her showcase.

"Jeanette, the actual retail price of your showcase is..."

I'm wincing, I'm thinking "I'm so sorry", I'm so set to groan...

"Sixty three thousand...."

The place erupts, and Jeanette just starts freaking out!

"...three oh two, for a difference of $2,302!"

Jeanette, who needs a Pontiac when you're leaving with a fucking 'VETTE! She had just won the biggest regular daytime showcase in TPIR history, and won one of the most expensive prizes ever given away.

"There she is, standing next to her new Corvette. Is that not a bee-u-tee-ful picture?!" It is indeed. I mean, she wanted to win a car so badly. She was so heartbroken when she lost the Grand Prix. And the day ends with her winning a Corvette. Redemption. And, a dream come true for her...

Good for her!

She runs on over to check out her new car, and Bob Barker signs off on episode #6,310, leaving me with memories that will last a lifetime.

A moment after the cameras quit rolling, Jeanette made her second walk up that aisle sobbing. And me, normally a very reserved person, did the unthinkable: I walked up to her, took her hands in mine, and said "Congratulations! Congratulations! You have no idea how happy I am for you..."

I meant it, too. I mean, we both showed up on that fateful Wednesday morning as total strangers, both with a goal. I wanted to see Bob Barker. She wanted a car... I got to hear "The Price Is Rigt, bitch!", and she got a fucking Corvette!

I'd say we both went home very, VERY happy... I hope she enjoys that car. And it truly warms my heart to have been there for that.

What a blast. What a blast to relive it on television... I have to do this again!

This is Madonna, reminding you to help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered... And I'll see you again in 18 days, Bob!

Barkerisms Of The Week - SPECIAL edition!

2006-01-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

"I hope Anita wins - because she has no idea what she just bid $800 on!" - Bob, after Anita wasn't paying attention to the item up for bids.

"Anita is living proof that on The Price Is Right you don't have to know what you are doing!" - Bob, after Anita actually WON her way up on stage on that same One-Bid!

"Before we go any further, let me point out.. That is the prize you're playing for! That Ford Mustang!" - Bob, continuing to needle Anita

"Did that go all the way around? It didn't go all.. Booo! Booo! Booo! Spin it again!" - Bob, after Denise decided to become This Week's Contestant To Be Booed By Bob

"That was a blow to the solar plexus, wasn't it Troy?" - Bob, after Rebecca froze out Troy on the first One-Bid on Thursday (Rebecca was frozen out herself by Julie

"He (Troy) says he's going to kill himself if he doesn't win. He knows one product for sure. After that? Ladies, he needs help!" - Bob, during Troy's playing of Grand Game

"The nuts? Is it the nuts? The nuts! NUTS! NUTS! OH NUTS!" - Bob, after Troy loses Grand Game, going for $10,000

"Christopher was telling her 'Go go go!' and she almost did it. Shame on you!" - Bob, after Christopher (who had 80 cents) tried to encourage Katherine to spin again when she also got 80 cents (and would've forced a spinoff had she stayed - which she did)

"What are you going to bid? WHEN are you going to bid?!" - Bob, after Julie took her time deciding what to bid

"I love this contestant! Most contestants up here are like *imitates a contestant sliding the marker back and forth, looking at the audience*. She just came up and did it! I love her! She might be wrong, of course...." - Bob, after Meredith quickly set her prices on "Make Your Move" (and yes, she did win)

"Rich, might I point out that both of our contestants have come from this spot, and we kept being left with the same three leftovers." - Bob, just before the third One-Bid

And this week's Barkerism Of The Week is...

(Whoa! Wait!)

Wait! Stop the presses.. Because we've just been presented with some Barkerisms that the rest of America didn't get to see. Welcome to this week's SPECIAL edition of Barkerisms Of The Week!

"There's nothing worse than a drunk Canadian!" - Bob, taunting Eric and his film crew

"Get up, make another bad bid, sit back down already!" - Bob, to the three contestants waiting for the second One-Bid

"You know, I don't think it's such a bad thing when a contestant doesn't win a car. Another one for my collection. When cars aren't won, Rich and I get them. We split them 50-50. I went to Rich's house last week, and he had a line of cars two blocks long!" - Bob, after Jeanette lost One Away playing for a Pontiac (more on her later this weekend!)

"Shut up and smile. You haven't won anything yet" - Bob continuing to taunt the "leftovers" on Contestant's Row

"You remember the woman who played Plinko and got five $0's? She shot herself in the parking lot!" - Bob, after Andrew played Plinko and won only $500, because he put four chips into 0.

"Do I have a bunch of losers here?! I'm trying to give away this stuff! Come up here and win it!" - Bob, after the fourth pricing game, which resulted in 1 win (Make Your Move) and three losses

"No. No damned way am I giving my car away!"- Bob, after Alexander asked him if a car he saw on stage a couple years ago was Bob's

"And that's EXACTLY why I don't want him on camera!" - Bob, after a female contestant said "But he's cute!" after discussing why Rich Fields isn't shown on camera

And now, your special Barkerism Of The Week...

"Now, Eric, she wants me to say 'The Price Is Right, bitch!' Should I? You don't think I should? Well, then, I'm not going to say it!"

Hello America! And CONGRATULATIONS, Jeanette!

Barkerisms Of The Week - Christmas edition!

2005-12-23T06:48:00.000-08:00

Sadly, Maddy missed today's episode (I overslept. I need Tivo badly!), but that didn't keep Bob from giving us plenty of pearls of wisdom in the first four shows of the week.

"Sean has been down here since the start of the show." Denise, standing next to Sean on Contestant's Row, laughs. "What are you laughing at? You've been here as long as he has!" - Bob, teasing a couple of contestants who were among the first four to "come on down", and couldn't get on stage.

"I feel like Scrooge!" - Bob, after Denise does win her way up on stage, plays One Away for a Pontiac, and loses.

"She really doesn't know if she's coming or going!" - Bob, after Gay mixes up while playing Coming Or Going (she lost playing for a trip to Zurich)

Sean, though, would be fodder for more laughs. This took place just before the last game of the day:

Bob: "Is there something you'd like to say?"
Sean: "Uhhh... Hmmm... Ummm...."
Bob: "I thought that was very interesting!"

Wedesday gave us more fun from Contestant's Row:

Haywood (a wreslting coach who was called to come on down, ran down, and was gasping for breath when he made it): "Is there a doctor in the house?
Bob: "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a nurse in the house?!"

Bob, after Dennis bids $2 on an item up for bids on Thursday: "I hope you didn't overbid!"

On the last item up for bids that day:

Dennis: "2 and a half thousand! I mean, $2,500."
Bob: "Don't make this anymore difficult than it already is!"

"That has to go all the way around! Booooo! Booooo! Boooooo! Now give it another spin!" - Bob, after Paul's wimpy second spin on Thursday (after giving it a mighty spin and stopping on 90 cents on his first). I'm glad Bob is keeping his promise to boo contestants for wimpy spins...

This week's Barkerism Of The Week? From Monday's show...

Nina is wearing a shirt that says "My dog is neutered, and I've been spayed!". Bob brings this shirt to America's attention, then says "That's your choice, Nina, that isn't what I told you to do! I tell you to have your pets spayed or neutered!"

Could this lead to a new Bob Barker signoff? "This is Bob Barker, reminding you to help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered - NOT YOURSELVES!"

Next week CBS is showing reruns (should I take the time to list his quotes from those episodes?). January 2 they will go back to airing new episodes, and new Barkerisms *chuckling to herself over the first 2006 edition*.

And for the newest feature...

2005-12-18T06:46:00.000-08:00

ESPN has plays of the week? Well, it's time for me to have something even better...

The Barkerisms of the Week!

That's right! Every week where CBS airs new episodes of The Price Is Right, I will list all the great lines from everyone's favorite Happy Gilmore beater, Bob Barker, as well as pick a favorite.

Also, for any weeks where they air reruns that I didn't catch, I'll also list his Barkerisms from those shows.

I came up with the idea on Thursday, so I only listed lines from the Thursday and Friday episodes. Bob didn't disappoint, by giving us three great lines in those shows - two of them before the first two pricing games on Friday's show! But, as a special added bonus this week, I'm including a couple of great lines from an interview he did with St. Petersburg Times near his 80th birthday.

"I told (CBS) I didn't know there would be so much attention paid to my 80th birthday, or I would have celebrated it a long time ago!" - Bob, when asked how it felt to have two shows celebrating his 80th birthday

"Mostly, they want to know why I haven't done more pictures. I tell them the reason is because I refuse to do nude scenes. I don't want to be just another beautiful body." - Bob, talking about Happy Gilmore and the fact he's asked about it at nearly every taping

From this week's shows:

Thursday: "That's not going to get all the way around! Booooo! Booooo! C'mon audience, boo her! You know, I've been doing this for 34 years, and I've never booed a contestant before. But I'm going to start now. Booooo! I just hate that! Jennifer, give it a good spin this time!" - Bob, after a young woman named Jennifer gave the wheel a wimpy first spin

Friday: "Manohack, you've wanted to meet me for a long time? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not me. I'm just a cheap imitation!" - Bob, just before Manohack played It's In The Bag (where, sadly, she quit with $4,000, and would've won all $16,000 had she kept going!)

Amusing as always. But the Barkerism Of The Week?

Friday: "While Rich was describing the car, Clara turned to me and said 'Bob, I turned 60 today'. Don't tell me about your problems!" - Bob, just before the first pricing game, deciding to get some laughs over the fact that his 60th birthday was 22 years ago

The birthday is right, bitch!

2005-12-12T06:45:00.000-08:00

A big happy birthday to everyone's favorite Happy Gilmore beating, spaying and neutering, "The Price Is Right, bitch!" saying octogenarian game show host, Bob Barker, who turns 82 today.

Okay, so he's the only Happy Gilmore beating, spaying and neutering, "The Price Is Right, bitch!" saying octogenarian game show host around, but I still want to wish him a happy birthday.

Of course, Bob seems to have this knack for giving out the presents on his birthday - such as hosting a Million Dollar Spectacular that aired the day after his 80th birthday. And this one is no exception, as we're expecting official confirmation to what he told the audience at a taping last month: That Bob has signed on for another season, which would make 35 seasons of The Price Is Right, and FIFTY straight years hosting television game shows.

It also means I'll find even more oppotunities to drag myself to LA. Too bad I can't send Bob on a trip to the fountain of youth so we get 50 more years...

I did, however, think about how to send birthday greetings to someone with such a sarcastic and warped sense of humor as Bob, and came up with a thought: By following up my birthday wishes with his entry at Uncyclopedia.

Uncyclopedia, for those of you not familiar with it, is a spoof of Wikipedia, where readers are encouraged to type up crazy, totally inaccurate articles (or even amend and alter existing ones). Some of them are hilarious (examples include claiming Christina Aguilera is part of the Christina Aguilera Whorebot series from the future, sent back to destroy the world, or claiming Marty McFly was a real person who went back in time to marry his mother). Some of them are a bit cruel (like claiming Esther Madge died from "complications of gingivitis" in August - even though she is supposed to be the President of the United States in 4277). Overall, though, I get a kick out of the site, which is heavy on satire and even plain silliness.

Oh, and yes: I did get the Bob Barker "YOU'RE WINNER!" picture from Uncyclopedia as well.. And someday I'll even have to tell the story behind that.

Bob Barker (born Robert William Barker in December 12, 1923) is a superhuman actor, best known for punching Brian Peppers in the face in Happy Gilmore. His imfamous line, "No, I want the whole thing" after which he proceeded to eat all of Adam Sandler. Apparently, a "piece" of him was not enough.

He also had some minor role as host of the game show The Price is Right, a job which he has had since the dawn of prices themselves. At the end of the show, he often says "Help control the pet population, have your pet's balls cut off." Rumors have arisen that Bob Barker himself owns a vast, secret monopoly that manufactures and distributes pet neutering products.

Born in God's arms, he grew up as one of the best people ever. In 1939, he was granted an infinite supply of money.

In 1956, he took over the world. However, he was unable to make the world as cool as he is, due to the mass stupidity of the people.

In 1972, Barker began his most famous assignment hosting the CBS revival of Jesus. In the three decades of the CBS version, he has become as synonymous with the ritual as first reviver Bill Cullen was with the 1950s-60s original.

In 1993, he was accused of sexually harassing one of the show's models, Dian Parkinson. Ultimately, it was shown that Parkinson is just a little whore who wished she was and was jealous of Barker's awesomeness.

Barker has set a longevity record as holding a five-day-a-week TV job continually for 49 years (2005). He is the coolest game show host of all time and coolest host of a five-day-a-week program of all time.

In 2002, The Price is Right celebrated 30 consecutive years of awesomeness. It is the longest running game show of all time in Amerika, and is also the longest running five-day-a-week daytime entertainment program (and only The Tonight Show's 50 years on the air has surpassed it in terms of overall five-day-a-week American entertainment television programming, but nobody cares about The Tonight Show).

In 2002, at the Daytime Emmy Awards Barker received a lifetime achievement award. He deserved it.

In 2003, Bob Barker celebrated his 80th birthday with a prime-time special on CBS. It featured guest appearances by fan Jesus along with friends talk-show host Larry King and actor (and Barker's karate instructor) Chuck Norris. The show also featured taped vignettes from CBS stars like Ray Romano, the cast of Becker, and the cast of Joan of Arcadia.

In 2004, Bob Barker was inducted into the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Hall of Fame.

In 2005, Bob Barker was named the one true uber-pimp over Odin, Zeus, and Gendo Ikari.

Bob Barker, while scoring bitches and blow in Compton, was pulled over by an LA County Sheriff. As he proceeded to completely pummel the unsuspecting lawman, he was heard to yell, "Fuck tha police!" and that he was "Straight outta Compton!" Overheard by a young Oshea Jackson, later known to the world as Ice Cube, gangsta rap was born.

Barker has recently had success with a prime time version of The Price is Right. This stemmed from the incredibly high ratings for the 30th anniversary show in January 2002. Since then, the prime time specials have returned with a vengeance, sometimes with themes such as honoring different things, none of which are as cool as Bob Barker. During the prime time shows, the prizes are more extravagant than in the daytime version, and the cash amounts are higher. Usually $1 million can be won by running around in a circle, shouting "I'm not worthy!"

Happy Birthday, Bob, and here's hoping you enjoy plenty more! Not to mention thanks for 34 (about to become 35) years of PRICEless moments...

After 26 years, this clock finally hit 00:00

2005-11-17T06:43:00.000-08:00

The story, and look back, at a day 26 years in the making...

What inspired it all? An email exchange with Mike, where I got on the topic of regrets and things I wish I had done when I had the chance (like seeing a Lakers game in person back when Magic Johnson played for them).

We got on the topic of Bob Barker's future (or possible lack of future) as the host of The Price Is Right. Bob's contract expires at the end of this season. He'll turn 82 next month. And there has been speculation he could call it a career - either after this season, or next season (which would make 50 straight years of hosting game shows on television). Not to mention the possibility (one I would not want to see) where Bob's career ends the same way Harry Caray's and Chick Hearn's did - with Bob moving onto the big game show in the sky.

I started thinking "I've watched the show since 1979. Bob is The Man. And I would really, REALLY hate myself if I don't get down and watch him in action in person before it's too late".

That was about four weeks ago. We both quickly got the ball rolling at that point.

This week, it was all set to finally happen. Here, basically, is a look back at the final 24 hours...

November 15:

~2:30 pm (T-24:00:00): Mike and I step onto a train at the downtown Metrolink station, headed for Los Angeles. He rather quickly dozes off, and I spend a good part of the time looking out at the scenary - the "Corona Crawl" near the 91/15 interchange, as well as making the wisecrack in my head "What's the smell? Oh, dear god, it smells like Conservatism!" when we hit Anaheim Hils.

The ride took a bit longer than expected, thanks to being stuck behind a freight train nearly the entire way into LA.

~4:30 pm (T-22:00:00): We finally arrive in Los Angeles, and make our way over to the Metro red line platform (LA's subway system). In the "It's a small world" category, the Metro red line's birth took place in the late 1970's, and a then board member of the Southern California Rapid Transit District contributed to the plans. That board member? George Takei, famed for playing Star Trek's Mr. Sulu, and who recently made headlines when he came out of the closet last month.

~6:00 pm (T-20:30:00): We finally reach our hotel, including a brief walk from the bus stop to the hotel that brought us past CBS Television City itself. The whole time I was looking over to my right, shaking my head in amazement of finally being that close, the whole time saying "This is one of the craziest things I've ever done!" - in a good way.

We check in, take a breather, then head off to find dinner. We finally end up reaching Swingers' a few blocks away. I splurged a bit on myself - NY steak and fries, the whole time thinking "My god, it's finally less than 24 hours away!"

~7:45 pm (T-18:15:00): We return to the room, and basically I let him know (from what I'd found out over the years from people who've attended tapings) what would probably be the best way to handle it: Be in line no later than 5 am, and be prepared for one long day leading up to the big moment itself.

We both crawl into bed shortly after 8 pm, though I know I do my share of tossing and turning, and it's probably closer to 10 before I finally get to sleep. The whole time I have thoughts dancing in my head of finally stepping into a piece of history.

November 16:

3:30 am (T-11:00:00): I wake up, about half an hour earlier than expected, though I should've expected it, as I woke up every half hour from midnight to check the clock. I go ahead and jump into the shower, and get myself ready to go.

After Mike follows up with his own shower, we grab everything we basically need (ID and the tickets) and get set to head out the door.

4:30 am (T-10:00:00): We depart, with Mike the whole time thinking I'm nuts for wanting to leave so soon. We walk a few blocks to the entrance, which is one block short of Beverly Boulevard on Fairfax (yes, ladies and gentlemen, you all know the famous address by now - 7800 Beverly Boulevard, Los Angeles).

Of course, we arrive to find 18 people already waiting - one of which (a man named Alexander) had been there since at least 7:30 PM the previous night! (more on him later). At this point, Mike isn't thinking I'm so nuts after all.

6:00 am (T-8:30:00): The gate finally opens, and out steps Paul (a member of the staff) to issue our Order Of Arrival slips. These are numbered, and basically "mark" our "place in line". We are then permitted to leave, as long as we are back by roughly 7:45 am with our tickets and our Order Of Arrival slips. We go ahead and head back to our room to get off our feet for an hour or so.

This begins the process of the only snag we encounter the entire day. We both have bags with our changes of clothing and toiletries, and we CANNOT bring them onto the grounds of Television City (they used to allow contestants to check in a bag, but after too many cases of them forgetting bags, then calling and raising hell at 10 pm, they scrapped that policy). We ask the night clerk of the hotel if they can hold onto our bags in the office until roughly 4, and are told yes. Nothing ever goes as planned (more shortly)...

7:15 am (T-7:15:00): We head on back to where the original line formed on Fairfax, and encounter some new people (some who were either much further back in line, or arrived after 6 and were not aware they needed the green OoA slip). We end up then encountering one of the most unique characters we'd met on the day, a man named Millard who in two days would turn 75 (and was wearing a T-Shirt saying "I turned 75 today").

Millard, who doesn't look a day over 55, comes complete with an amazing sense of humor. Not only does he say as a joke that he wants a picture snapped of him and his friend standing in the middle of Fairfax, but when he goes to see what the OoA slip says, he says out loud "Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200!"

At this point, we are thinking between the shirt and his natural charm, Millard is a given and will be picked.

Another man named Ed is there with a small group. His 70th birthday will also be this weekend.

7:45 am (T-6:45:00): After half an hour of chit-chat with some of the other hopefuls, we are admitted onto the grounds of Television City itself. We are instructed to take a seat on the benches outside, where we'll shortly be re-ordered by the numbers on our OoA slips. At this point, we're definitely thinking we are in pretty good shape - no huge groups, and Mike is #19 and I'm #20.

Upon being re-ordered, we are told to walk up where they will take our slips and write our priority number on our tickets. As groups receive priority, there is no guarantee we'll still be #19 and #20, but fortunately we are. At this point, we are free to go until 10 am, where CBS basically owns us until the taping is finished.

We head off to Subway to grab breakfast, then return to the room to rest up a bit before CBS owns our asses.

9:10 am (T-5:20:00): We go to check out, bringing our bags down to the office, where we are then told by the day clerk that she will NOT let us keep the bags in the office, nor would she give us an hourly rate on the room. After about ten minutes of bickering, we are told she will let us lock them up in the laundry room. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous for a while that we would return in several hours to find no bags, or missing items (NEITHER happened, fortunately).

We check out, and make the final trek down to Television City to begin the real process and prepare for the big event. At this point, I am damned grateful I do not own a watch - I know I would've given myself carpal tunnel twisting my arm back and forth every five seconds to look at the damned thing!

10:00 am (T-4:30:00): We are once again re-ordered along the benches based upon our priority number, and walked through the process.

First, we are given small contestant cards to fill out. At this point, it is very basic info - name, Social Security number, signature. Part of the card is detached and given to us - it has our contestant number on it.

Upon filling out the cards, the staff comes through to take the cards, look at our forms of ID, and issue us the name tags. Here I am, after 26 years of seeing thousands of these things on television, now holding a yellow price tag sticker with my name on it. The name tag is them to be placed on us so that it is holding our contestant number underneath it.

Among the people sitting in our general group is a woman named Janet Gail, who has a service animal - a small Papion (I hope I am spelling that right!) named Belle. As a joke, Belle is issued her own name tag.

11:00 am (T-3:30:00): Now that the process is basically done (for the moment), we are free to get up from the bench and walk around - hit the gift shop or cafeteria, or use the restrooms, or go out and smoke (as they do not want us smoking in the covered areas where we were sitting). I go out and smoke, chatting with some of the other hopefuls (among them, a woman named Roberta, another named Vivian, and Janet Gail). We discuss each other's shirt, chat about past memories of the show (I think an older man is surprised when he realizes I know who Johnny Olson was), and wish each other luck.

While I am not so hardcore competitive that I wish ill-will upon the "competition", I would be surprised when watching the show to see some of the displays of support and affection from the audience and fellow contestants. At this point, I am no longer puzzled - after several hours of waiting and going through the process together, you can sense that we're no longer "competition" but companions along for the same ride. Most of us are thrilled with the thought of seeing anyone called up on stage because many of us feel like "we're all here together".

We wish each other luck, and slowly head back toward our seats, prepared for the next step.

12:00 pm (T-2:30:00): The final key step - contestant interviews. We're told basically to be ourselves and be natural, which comes as no problem to me.

We are brought up 10-14 at a time and stood in a row, where Randy (the constestant coordinator, not to be confused with former announcer Randy West) goes up the line, firing off a few questions to each of us, complete with wisecracks. Stephen (#18) is greeted with "You again, Stephen? How many times is this now?". When Mike tells Randy he is an aspiring writer, Randy throws in "And perspiring too, I bet!". And when I call myself a "freelance writer", Randy chimes in with "Yeah, we don't get too many of those around here!", and I fire back "Yeah, we're only a dime a dozen!"

After our group is interviewed, we're sent around the corner to the final holding area, now just feet away from the entrance.

12:30 pm (T-2:00:00): Now just two hours to go, and less than an hour and a half until we're finally let into Mecca itself. One final chance to chat it up with our fellow contestants.

The young woman who has been issued #23 is wearing a T-Shirt saying "I was born to play, just look at my name!". I finally notice her name tag, her name is Janice. I ask her about it, and she tells us "Yeah, I was named after the former model." A couple seconds later, it dawns on Mike "Wait a minute: Your name is Janice Pennington?!", and she replies "Yeah, my mother has been watching this show forever, and named me after her. I'm the brunette Janice Pennington!". She, however, thinks she is not going to get picked. I tell her in a perfect world, she will be picked (along with Millard), just to see the look on Bob's face when her name is called out!

Ahh, how I miss the old announcers and models. Rest in peace, Johnny and Rod...

1:30 pm (T-1:00:00): The time is finally drawing nigh. The seed that was planted 26 years earlier is now 60 minutes away. The contestant interviews are starting to finally come to a close - we're up to about 250 now. At this point, we are awaiting some final instructions from the staff, where we'll then be admitted entrance into the temple itself.

A couple times, I definitely feel my throat catching a bit while talking to Mike. My nervous energy - which I went out of my way to bottle up - is building. Earlier in the day, I didn't know how I'd act come showtime. Would I sit there and just take in the whole thing, or would I go crazy? All I knew is if I didn't feel it, I wasn't going to act like a moron just for the cameras. It had to be real.

1:45 pm (T-45:00): We're finally let in. After climbing a couple small flights of stairs, we see THE plaque - the one declaring this piece of history the Bob Barker Studio. One final left turn, and it's time to pick my jaw up off the floor...

Because there, right there, is the Mecca of game shows. The Studio. The Set. The Seats. The Three Doors. The Turntable.

I mean, is this how professional athletes felt the first time they walked into Fenway Park, or Wrigley Field, or the late great Boston Garden? I am standing in a piece of history!

My first thought was to what a moment this is. The over 6,000 times Bob Barker walked out there. The 2,204 Match Game (the Gene Rayburn version) episodes taped on that very stage. Wink Martindale was here, too, in the early days of Tic Tac Dough.

There to my right is where the announcer has sat for 34 years. Where Johnny Olson sat for 15 seasons, telling us to "Come on down!" (not to mention announcing all those episodes of the Match Game), followed by the flashiest dresser in Los Angeles, Rod Roddy.

Behind me? The giant TPIR logo, and the famous colored curtains with the lights.

In front? Door #2, where in less than an hour, The Man himself is going to walk through...

I've been such a huge game show fan for almost all my life. Real game shows, of course. None of this Dog Eat Dog, Fear Factor, reality show crap. And I am not kidding, I feel like I am standing the temple itself.

My second thought? Oh my god, it's so tiny! I mean, I was warned that the set and stage are smaller than they look on TV, but it's just plain miniscule! The stage - from the displays on contestant's row to the doors to the "giant" doors - can't be more than 10 feet deep. The doors can't be more than 10-12 feet long or so.

The wonders of television...

I'm fighting the urge to defy the order to get to my seat, and just walk up on stage, and touch door #2. I kid you not. But, I decided I'd rather not get myself in hot water...

I just keep shaking my head at Mike. I tell him "You're seeing me in a way few people ever have - I'm nearly speechless!"

2:00 pm (T-30:00): Now just half an hour ago - the same length of time that TPIR was from 1972 until 1975. We're sitting there, listening to 80's music. I'm just looking around, taking all of this in, feeling the anticipation build... 30 fucking minutes.

~2:15 pm (T-15:00): After playing about 90 seconds of Crystal Waters' "Come On Down" (a house/dance song that samples the TPIR theme), Rich Fields (the current announcer) steps on up with a microphone to get us warmed up. He goes over some last minute things: When you name gets called, get on down there. When it's you turn to bid on contestant's row, get it done.

The audience? He wanted to see some energy, hear some excitement. Cheer, yell, call out prices, you name it. And, of course, to bring down the house when The King walks on out the door. Believe me, at this point, he doesn't need to tell me to go nuts, and I'm sure I'm not alone there.

He chats us up, tell us a couple stories, tells a few jokes. He tells us about how he first came to the show in 1979 (the irony), after just turning 18. He tells us to do the math on how old he is, so I yell out "36!", thinking he doesn't look a day over about 35. When he realizes who said it, he turns to me and says "Deborah, thank you, I'll be keeping an eye on you now!"

He then goes on to finish the story, how he convinced Johnny to let him take the microphone and act like an announcer, after asking Johnny how to get his job. He then shouts out "Johnny Olson, come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price Is Right!". Johnny's response? Sit back down, kid.

25 years later...

He also spoke to the person who'd been waiting since 7:30 pm the previous night, saying "I thought I saw someone in a red cap and blue jacket waiting outside." We found out that it was Alexander's seventy-first time coming to the show!

Rich also warns us the place gets so loud that if you're in the audience, chances are you will NOT hear your name if you're one of the first four contestants. Therefore, a producer is up there with a set of large cue cards, and will hold them up one at a time so you'll know you're being called.

He called it the "fastest show on television". And we were about to see what he truly meant...

We're finally a few minutes away. If you bottled the electricity at this point, you'd never have to worry about a power shortage again.

I also have to give Rich some major credit. I had not been impressed with him to date on television, as I wish he'd show some more enthusiam and passion. He clearly has it, he showed it to us before the big moment. Rich, if you by some miracle ever read this, my apologies - and show the TV viewers some of your enthusian and energy. Boy, would they ever love you!

In one last effort to get the crowd pumped up, they start playing "Get The Party Started" by Pink. While not a Pink fan, I could care less at this point if they played Britney fucking Spears. I'm fired up, I've waited 26 years, let's do this!

2:30 pm (T-00:00): Or maybe not... FALSE START! OFFENSE! FIVE YARD PENALTY! REPLAY FIRST DOWN!

After a few seconds of the crowd going nuts, Rich steps back up and says "Hold on, we're having a minor technical problem, we'll be just a minute."

After one of the longest minutes of my life (ranging up there with the two minutes after 7:30 am I waited for my phone to ring on 9/19/*1, because I knew the person on the other line was Sherrie Austin), we're finally ready...

~ 2:32 pm: Cue the music...

Crank up the intensity...

Listen to 320 people make more noise than you thought possible...

We have liftoff!

The producer is up there holding up the four before-mentioned cards. You can barely hear a word Rich is saying...

One of the models walks to the left (from our POV) of contestant's row to grab the microphone...

The producer steps aside, and you watch door #2 start to open. And if you thought just 20 seconds earlier 320 people couldn't be that loud, you've heard nothing yet...

During last year's tour, Esther Madge opened her show by yelling "Behold, for here I come!".

Behold, for there HE comes! Walking through door #2 is the greatest game show host of all-time, a man who's been doing this longer than I've been alive...

At this point, there are 320 people on their feet, going absolutely nuts! And believe me, I'm trying to go crazier than everyone else combined.

It took 26 years, but I am finally standing there, looking right at Bob Barker.

In 2000, Jello Biafra gave a speech about covering the Democratic Convention. He discussed the canned, stage attempt at making Al Gore's appearance feel like an arena rock concert ("that big rush of energy"), and compared it with his first REAL arena rock show, Alice Cooper, and the "groundswell" of emotion and energy.

"And when he finally came on, it was like my jaw just dropped. Oh my god! Right there! It really is Alice Cooper!"

Believe me, I know that feeling, because I just felt it about 24 hours ago...

Biafra goes on to say "Al Gore, you're no Alice Cooper!". If my sister ever heard me say this, she'd murder me. I like Alice Cooper, and I don't mean any offense by this, but Alice Cooper, you're no Bob Barker!

I won't go into any of the details about the pricing games themselves yet, so you'll have to wait to watch my $75,000 win.

Okay, so I'm exaggerating. I didn't quite win $75,000.

Actually, I'm lying. I wasn't called up. But, I wasn't lying when I'd said for weeks that being there was a victory in and of itself. As Mike put it so well, we won the Super Bowl, but we didn't get the MVP trophy...

Very well put.

But, I DO want to share some of the fun that you viewers won't get to see, ever, because it took place during the commercial breaks. If you think Bob is fun on TV, you ain't seen nothing yet...

Bob has got a very sardonic, dark sense of humor. As I do as well, I got a real kick out of him working the crowd. I tell you, they could release a DVD set of Bob behind the scenes and they'd fly off the shelves.

Some of the highlights:

We had a crew from a Canadian TV show taping, so Bob took a couple stabs at Canada (including "There's nothing worse than a drunk Canadian!").

Bob chatted with a few people from a retirement community in Oregon who bussed all the way down. He asked how old you had to be to get in, and someone yelled "You're old enough, Bob!"- so I fired back with "No, you're not even close to old enough Bob!". He may be just shy of 82, but he's as sharp as ever. And, if age is a number only in your own mind, he's not even 30 yet!

Just before the end of the first commercial break, he smiled down at the three waiting contestants and told them "Get up, make another bad bid, sit back down already!". He did lean over and mutter something to one of the three, then smiled, and we're speculating he let them know "Relax, I'm playing around!"

During the second commercial break (the closest I'll come to saying ANYTHING about the game itself until it airs), he said "You know, I don't think it's such a bad thing when a contestant doesn't win a car. Another one for my collection. When cars aren't won, Rich and I get them. We split them 50-50. I went to Rich's house last week, and he had a line of cars two blocks long!"

To end that commercial break, he again turned to the same three contestants and said "Shut up and smile. You haven't won anything yet!", again with a smile.

Bob asked some questions of the audience throughout the hour, which brought up a few great exchanges:

Alexander started his with "I have a kind of personal question." Bob's reply was "Well, if it's really personal, then definitely ask away!". "Bob, I saw a car that looked like it was parked on stage a couple years ago. Was that your car?" "No. No damned way am I giving my car away!"

Bob was asked why we never see Rich on camera (for many, MANY years we saw Johnny or Rod on camera at least once a show, but that hasn't happened for a few years). As a joke, he said "Because I don't want him on camera". A young woman then yelled out "But he's cute!", to which Bob responded "And that's EXACTLY why I don't want him on camera!"

The truth is, when TPIR basically became property of Freemantle Media - AKA Dismantle Media - Freemantle quit showing the announcer on camera. "We want to be consistant with other game shows, and other shows don't put their announcer on camera!" What they don't realize is TPIR is NOT consistant with other game shows. It's unique. It's gone on 34 damned years, and they pull the constestants from the audience.

Of course, Bob was asked boxers or briefs. He replied with "Depends. Boxers one days, brief the next.", which (along with the question itself) had the crowd howling.

The best exchange of the day, though?

A fan asked Bob "Can you please say a line from Happy Gilmore?"

Bob, having a real idea WHICH line, started going off about how "Wait a minute, this is a family show. Okay, fine, since it's your idea, you say a line Adam Sandler said, then I'll respond."

However, he then stopped himself, and said "Wait, I'll ask Eric" (Eric was the guy there to film that segment for that Canadian program) "Eric seems like a fine young man of moral character..."

"Now, Eric, she wants me to say 'The Price Is Right, bitch!'" (crowd erupts) "Should I? You don't think I should? Well, then, I'm not going to say it!"

Trust me, I can live with not being picked, just to actually hear Bob say "The Price Is Right, bitch!" in person!

The man can definitely work a crowd, though. Bob in person is so much more entertaining than Bob on TV. And, I would imagine Bob was taping with a heavy heart that day...

Ralph Edwards, a former game show producer and emcee, passed away yesterday morning at the age of 92. Edwards created the show Truth Or Consequences, and in 1956, hired an unknown 33 year old to host NBC's daytime version of the show.

That 33 year old? Robert William Barker. The man who discovered Bob, and put him on the radar in the first place (and time and time again in interviews he has credited and thanked Ralph for doing so) passed on just hours before Bob walked through door #2. Believe me, had I known, I would've raised my hand and instead of asking a question, I would've given him my condolences.

I do have some more stories to share once the episode airs - one of which definitely brought a huge smile to my face and brought me out of the shell I'm routinely in around strangers.

However, to my surprise, no Janice and no Millard. A shame. I do think Millard would've been a blast had he gotten up on stage...

My thanks to the pit crew of this well-oiled machine, from Bob on down to the staff who handled the entire process from the beginning. It was an absolute blast, and beat my expectations. Instead of feeling a sense of disappointment because of how polished things looked on TV, I walked away with a new appreciation. The show flies by in person - it truly is the fastest 60 minutes you can imagine, and an adreneline rush that puts most roller coasters and "extreme sports" to shame. Thank you for giving me an hour of fun the likes of which I haven't had in a long, long time...

Would I do it again? You bet your ass! We're already tenatively looking at January.

The Price IS Right, bitch!